This is my journal entry from November 13, 2025, part of my daily autobiography Divorce Day — my real, unedited days, published in order.
I got the kids to school as usual this morning, but I skipped my yoga studio. Today was personal training at Crunch. Before heading out, I worked on getting my ChatGPT for President audiobook processed and fully submitted, which felt good to check off. Then I went over to Crunch for my session with my personal trainer.
My personal trainer started by talking me through the basics of working with a trainer. I explained my background and what I actually care about. My goal isn’t to get shredded or chase some extreme physique. I want to maintain and slightly build muscle mass, maybe drop a little bit of fat, but more than anything, I want to preserve muscle over time. From everything I’ve seen, muscle mass is one of the best indicators of long-term health. I want to stay functional. I want to be able to move my body for the rest of my life.
He walked me through a long series of warm-up stretches, which immediately made me miss my yoga studio. After that, he put me through a workout that started with bodyweight exercises—push-ups, crunches, leaning back with nylon cables and pulling myself upright. We did several different movements like that, probably five or six total, including lunges and step-ups. Then we added weights and ran through the circuit again for a couple more rounds. By the end, it didn’t feel like I had done anything especially intense, but I was surprised at how sore certain muscles already felt, which told me it was doing exactly what it was supposed to do.
Afterward, he sat me down and walked me through the personal training options. I chose the $880 package, which covers one thirty-minute session per week for three months. He explained that the sessions can be used anytime and with any trainer, so technically I could use them all up in a short period if I wanted. I joked that I definitely wanted to work with other trainers too, but I’d schedule a regular weekly session with him and maybe see one or two other trainers each week just to get to know everyone. I told him it would basically be like he’d be my husband, and I’d have a side piece once or twice a week as well. That got a solid laugh out of him.
I left Crunch feeling good about doing something new and investing in my body. Since I didn’t need to pick the kids up from school today, I went straight into working on my books. It’s Not You, It’s The Dating Apps, which I narrated a few days ago, is close to being finished. And today I officially got ChatGPT for President fully submitted as an audiobook, which I’m genuinely excited about.
After that work block, I went to my meeting. Then, afterward, I headed to a a local spiritual community Shop Summit, which I was looking forward to. It was held at a metaphysical shop, near the beach. When I arrived, there were several people there—most of them familiar faces from other a local spiritual community events I’ve attended. Everyone there had their own business. We sat in a circle in the middle of the shop, which was beautiful in that very intentional, New Age way—crystals everywhere, thoughtfully arranged displays, and a space that felt calm and curated. It looked like the shop had been freshly painted and had probably replaced another business not too long ago. The whole environment felt aligned with the kind of community I’m slowly but steadily building myself into.
I had the chance to listen to another business owner share what she’s building, and then we broke into partner conversations to talk about our own businesses. I ended up speaking with three different women, each of us trading details about what we’re working on. What became clear to me during those conversations was the one area where I could really use help: marketing and promotion. Specifically, someone local—someone connected—who could reach out to bookstores, line up speaking opportunities, and find events where I could show up, talk, and give my books away. Ideally, this would be someone already doing that kind of outreach for other businesses, who could freelance or collaborate with me part time. What I want to focus on is writing books. I don’t have social media accounts, and I’m not excited about doing the legwork of promotion myself.
One woman told me about groups where people are constantly posting calls for speakers and opportunities, places where you can submit yourself to speak. Hearing her talk, it was obvious: that’s something someone else should be setting up for me. She went on about how viral you can go on TikTok, and I managed not to say anything about my past—how I’d had multiple videos with millions of views, tens of thousands of followers, and people recognizing me in public from TikTok alone. I already know what that platform can do. I’ve lived it.
One of the women I talked with runs a local shop with her mom. She shared openly about the challenges of running the shop together. Because it’s just the two of them, one of them always has to be there, which makes doing anything outside the store complicated. It requires a lot of responsibility and careful scheduling. Listening to her, it was clear how grounded and dependable she is.
As we talked about my books, she gave me a compliment that really landed. She said I have a beautiful energy, that I come across as wise, calm, and loving. I remember thinking, wow—that’s not a small thing to hear. It got me thinking about her, and it also sparked a deeper reflection. That’s not something that comes through on a dating app. There’s no way to communicate that presence—energy, calm, warmth—through photos, height, age, or a job description. In fact, a woman like her might not even swipe on me on a dating app, because the part of me she was responding to simply doesn’t translate there. That realization reinforced, yet again, that dating apps aren’t where I’m meant to be. They don’t allow me to show the best part of myself.
I left the shop summit a little early so I could be home in time for the kids’ bedtime, since I hadn’t seen them at school pickup that day. I said goodnight to them, and the whole drive back from the shop, I found myself thinking about the woman I’d met there. Maybe she’ll be at the dance portal on Saturday night. If not, I could always go back to the shop and spend more time talking with her. She hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I also remembered a thought I’d had after seeing a psychic—that I might end up meeting someone who lives out where she does, rather than someone across the bay in Tampa. If she felt comfortable giving me that kind of compliment, maybe it means she’s genuinely interested in getting to know me better.
I wondered briefly if I should have complimented her back—told her how beautiful she is. Maybe that wouldn’t have landed the same way. Maybe it would have. Who knows. I let the thought pass. I got home feeling clear and grounded again. Another night where I knew, without question, that I didn’t want to watch porn. I wanted to use my imagination, my mind, my fantasy—and I did. With that settled, it was time for bed.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.