My Mind Went to Fear, But I Chose Faith

My Mind Went to Fear, But I Chose Faith

My mind tried to go to fear today, but I'm grateful I chose trust — about dating, about my dog passing soon, about my money and my work. It was a day of seeing how powerful my decisions are.

Catching the fear spiral

I'd just made a video about getting back on Hinge and matching right away with a woman I knew in real life. It was a great experience — but I woke up and my mind started spiraling: why didn't you recognize her, are her photos not accurate, what if she's different in person? I caught it and thought, isn't that silly? Everything is going exactly how I wanted, and my mind is inventing reasons to be afraid. So I chose to trust her first — to assume she was accurate in what she posted — and to deal with anything else only if it actually came up, rather than believe a fear my mind made up.

Money, the dentist, and trust

I went to get my teeth cleaned with no dental insurance, braced for a $300 bill, and it came to $130 — practically free. That spun me toward the bigger money fear: I've borrowed on credit cards, I'm running down my zero-percent cards, and five new YouTube channels are currently earning nothing while pulling in a few thousand organic views a day. My mind asked how much time I have left. And I decided: I feel good, I'm doing the right things, I've clearly been guided back to YouTube where I know I can succeed, so I'll proceed as if it's all working out. I have the best studio I've had in 14 years, fast tools, and AI that removes my biggest pain points. When I put myself in the right position, the money comes.

Saying goodbye to my dog

Then my ex-wife called: our 13-and-a-half-year-old dog is near the end and struggling at home. Instead of panicking, I made a plan — let's take a week to say goodbye, give him some really nice meals to enjoy, and let him pass naturally if he will. I did the same with my last dog, and it was smooth and peaceful for all of us. My daughter is already talking about a puppy, and to me that's healthy: choose love over fear, say goodbye to the old dog, welcome the new one, enjoy the dog park.

Trust is a muscle

I got home and made videos for all my channels, and even found a direction I love for my gaming channel — playing a different game every time, framed around keeping your brain fresh and healthy. Choosing to trust all of life at once lets me think clearly: I take care of my body, I trust my kids can play safely, I trust things will work out with dating, the dog, and the money. Sometimes trust appears to be violated — and that's where character building and the adventure live, because if everything were perfectly safe all the time there'd be no adventure. Trust is a mental muscle: when my mind starts to spiral, I tell it I don't believe it, and I choose to trust instead. If things are fine today, why wouldn't they be fine in the future?

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