This is my journal entry from January 3, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
I had a nice morning and was really excited about all my plans for the day. I went to my yoga studio for the 10am yoga class and I could barely get in there. It was so crowded. I dropped $10 for a donation and enjoyed the class. Got sweat all over my mat. I hollered at a girl that was crossing the street who was in class with me, she stood out because she was wearing socks, and she called back a couple of things. I was like, eh, I'm not going to bother trying to do more than just say something real quick. I'm going to move on.
Then I went home and had a nice big salad, and right after I got done eating lunch and I was about to work on my books, my ex-wife called, and my son said he wanted to come over and play. My son came over and he was really excited to play the Harry Potter Hogwarts battle game. We had so much fun. We whooped the Death Eaters' butts too. We beat them. They didn't even win the first location. Every villain got knocked down quickly. My son and I had so much fun.
Then I took my son down the street and my daughter got ready to go with my ex-wife, and we all went to look at my new house in Crescent Lake and get the keys. I'm really grateful my ex-wife and the kids love the house. My ex-wife said she loves the neighborhood and it's got a great vibe. She likes the owners, and there's so much space there. I could have a pool table, an air hockey table, a shuffleboard. There's so much space. We looked around at everything, measured everything. I'm going to see about getting blackout curtains and then pinning them down around the windows so that we can get sleep. There's tons of options for laying out the rooms and sleeping arrangements. After that, my son stayed with me a little longer to measure, and my ex-wife took my daughter home. Then I brought my son back to my ex-wife's house, and he was really excited to see when the car and the drone would arrive today. It looked like it was going to be too late for him to get to play with it today, though.
After dropping my son at my ex-wife's house and saying goodnight to everyone, I went out to the vegan sushi place with the woman I'd been talking to. We had a nice time there. I ended up getting a bit too much food, even though I got one sushi roll. We split the ramen, and I got the tahini dumplings. It still was very filling. The sushi rolls are huge and plant-based, so they hit heavy. We had a good conversation, and then I asked if she wanted to go look at my new house at Crescent Lake, which she did. So we drove like 10 minutes over there to meet at the house, and we were both a bit nervous when we got there. I let her in and showed her around the house, and she commented on it. I noticed she was a bit defensive, which she hadn't usually been. She had her arms crossed, which she hadn't been hardly any other times I'd been talking with her.
Then I felt like there was some good chemistry between us, so I leaned in to try and kiss her, and she gave me a little kiss, but it wasn't as intense as I thought it'd be. At the same time, it makes sense because we don't hardly know each other. We haven't built that much tension up. But then again, my ex-wife and I, on our second date, had a really powerful kiss, and it was very intense. So it ended up being kind of disappointing. I walked her back out to her car, said goodnight to her, and then I felt pretty bad after that. I drove back home, got home about 7.30. I texted my ex-wife to let her know, to tell my son that I got the drone and the car, and he was very excited.
I sat down on my bed, and there was a lot of tension to release after a disappointing night, so I took care of that and took a shower. Then I sat down and I cried for like 30 or 40 minutes. It was a lot today with looking at the house. I mean, this is very much a real house that I'm in while I'm dictating this, but every house is temporary, of course. But this house is just a quick stop between this place and the next one. It's still in the same neighborhood. So this is a big step, moving into a new neighborhood, getting a house that's going to be longer term. $2,700 a month rent, which is a great deal, actually. Zillow says this house that I'm renting should be $3,100, which makes sense based on the neighborhood. And fuck, man. I was just missing doing stuff as a family with my ex-wife. It was so nice to have her and the kids over to look at the house. And I was just so sad that I'm moving into the house by myself and not all four of us together. I thought about my son and my daughter and how much time I'm missing with them because of the divorce. And I cried some more.
And I remembered one day when we had a fight. My ex-wife and I had a, you know, it wasn't a bad fight, just, we got upset with each other. I remember going out to the shed and listening to that Journey breakup song, Separate Ways, I think it is. I remember thinking that my ex-wife and I might break up and just crying and thinking about how horrible that'd be. And then I'm like, God, I'm actually living that scenario now. Jesus. Wow. I'm like, well, I guess this isn't as bad as I thought it'd be, but it is kind of horrible. But at the same time, it already has happened. It's done. So there's that. It's happened. And we're moving forward. We're going to do our best and enjoy life.
So, yeah, I had a hell of a cry. I got a T-shirt out of the closet to just snot on. I wailed like a baby too, I straight up cried and sounded just like a baby, and then I sang a little lullaby to myself, the one my ex-wife used to sing to my daughter when she was a baby. I really need to love myself right now, because I got here through my own choices, my own beliefs. And it's not a place that's right or wrong. It's a place with ups and downs, negatives and positives. My marriage before had negatives and positives. I've gotten to have quite an adventure by doing this divorce. It's been challenging, but at the same time, it's been fun. Loving myself through the choices I made is the heart of how I'm rebuilding, and if you're doing that same hard work, I'd love for you to join the Jerry Banfield Family and rebuild alongside us.
Although I thought, man, maybe I should try and see if I can really jump realities and go into a reality when I go to sleep where my ex-wife and I aren't divorced. But at the same time, I remembered my parents didn't get divorced and that didn't go so well for them in my opinion. So who says staying together is the best option? I really wanted to talk with my ex-wife, so I texted her to see if she was available to talk. I texted the woman I'd been talking to, to thank her for coming out and tell her if she was at Crescent Lake again, I'd be happy to hang out with her.
Then I opened up the drone and the car that I ordered because I know my son will want me to be ready for tomorrow. The drone, I'm not ready to deal with that except charge it and read the instructions. But the truck, I got the truck and drove the truck. The little 12-inch or so monster truck, I drove it for like 20 minutes out in the street in the dark tonight, and I hoped I didn't look sketchy by the road holding a remote that, if you weren't seeing very clearly, might look like somebody was holding a gun, because it's one of those remotes with a trigger that you pull and a thing on the side that you twist to turn. But the truck was cool. It went really fast. And I drove it up and down the street until it ran out of battery, and then I plugged the battery in to charge it so that it'll be ready. They each come with two batteries. The drone has two batteries, and the truck has two batteries, which is great. So I'll have them all ready for my son and my daughter tomorrow.
Then the woman I'd been talking to sent me a text saying that she wouldn't be in St. Pete tomorrow. She's not sure when she'll be back, but when she's there, she'll let me know, which is good. Just give her a little space. From just meeting her yesterday to trying to make out with her today was moving pretty fast. I definitely like her. She's really cool. She's pretty. She's got a nice energy about her. At the same time, I barely know her. We've literally known each other two days. It was just a little over 24 hours at this point. I was thinking too, like, man, I could really go for a girl 30 years younger than her too. Definitely part of the thing that triggered me was all the things together all at once. Trying to kiss her was a big reminder of like, this is someone I barely know. I don't feel qualified to do dating at this point. But this is something that just came right to me. I might as well walk through the open doors, as Robert Glover says in his dating book.
Reflecting on it, if I had to do it over again, when I noticed she was a bit defensive and I was nervous, I would speak into that and try and lighten the mood before trying to kiss her. I didn't pick the best time to try and kiss her. My ex-wife was thoroughly warmed up and in the mood when I went to kiss her, after a really nice date and walking her back to her car. This woman looked like she'd gotten a little defensive and it was a little too much, especially since she's looking for a place to live right now. And I suggested, you know, if we cooperated, she could just move into my Crescent Lake house, which obviously there's things she likes about. But at the same time, it's a bit soon. Somebody you just met thinking you could live together, right? It's a bit fast. Hi, I'm Jerry, here's the U-Haul. You don't move in as soon as you meet someone.
After my cry and bringing the truck in to charge it, I'm thinking, should I call my mother? I just don't know what to do with my mother. I really need to talk to my ex-wife. And thankfully, my ex-wife said she was ready at 10 o'clock to talk. So she called, and we just had a nice hour-long call. We went over all the things, and she said she had a good cry earlier today. The kids really, my daughter went off this morning because the dog had pooped in the house and she didn't even see it; it had just happened the night before and she got all mad about it. And then that spiraled and they didn't go to the market. And then my son had had his emotions playing the game of life later. She had her emotions today as well, and so did the kids. It's nice to know we're all in this together. That one honest call reminded me how much a real conversation can hold, so if you're carrying something heavy right now, I'd be glad to talk it through with you on a private Zoom call.
I was going to record this tomorrow, but I'm like, shit. The one thing I wish I'd had time to do is do some stuff with my books, but I kind of did have time. I finished my laundry up today. I don't know if I put too much in the washer or what, but the washer broke, which is convenient because I'm just moving out of here and I don't think I need to use it again. That does suck too, the neighbors are knocking the house down. We're going to take the washer and dryer over. But I'm glad it decided to break down now. So I'm grateful. I feel like I'm just clueless right now. I felt so smart in my life, and I just feel like I don't even know anything anymore. Which I think is good. That means I'm cleaning stuff out, clearing space for new things to come into my life. And I'm excited to see where we go from here, even though it doesn't sound like it.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.