On January 1, 2023, I started the new year at the Sunday yoga flow again, and there was no sign of my yoga crush girl. She wasn't at the Friday power flow either, and maybe she's traveling or something for the new year. I feel like I'm going through withdrawal, and the class really sucks without her in it — and yet I have to go. Or do I? I could just change out my yoga schedule any time, and this would probably instantly be over with.
My resolution: live more on intuition
I'm thinking about my resolutions for the new year. I really want to live my life more on intuition, because there's some intuitive part of me that has feelings, that knows, that's all-powerful, that is able to make some incredible decisions and just let magic happen. I want to let my life be lived more from that point of view than from this rigid mental thinking that I'm going to do this, that I'm going to publish four videos a day, that I'm going to play God's Unchained, or that I have to make a crypto video every day. I want to get more into having fun and enjoying my life and let my intuition guide me here.
Is this intuition, or little Jerry?
Now, the question with this yoga crush girl is: is this my intuition guiding me, or is this little Jerry guiding me? I'm not sure which. Maybe it's a little bit of both. I definitely am doing some valuable learning out of here. As much as it feels great to be with her and to be in class together, it sucks that much worse, and for so much more time, when she's not. I think it's so ridiculous how much I'm thinking about her based on how little time we've actually spent together.
Using the crush to appreciate my wife
I'm trying to appreciate all the things I love about my wife, because clearly this girl and my wife are much more similar than different — on the outside, and probably on the inside too. There are definitely some differences. But from most people's point of view, I think they would look and have a lot in common. I'm trying to let this experience with this girl be a chance to appreciate all the things about her that I like that are the same as my wife. Maybe I've gotten used to some of those things with my wife, but then when I see them on the yoga crush girl, all of a sudden I'm noticing things that I didn't, or that I forgot about, with my wife. So I'm trying to put a positive spin on this.
Sharing it with my sponsor and at meetings
I'm starting to leave voicemails with my sponsor about whether this girl is there or not at yoga. I've even started to share about this a little bit at AA meetings, although I'm sharing pretty confident and cocky at this point — more or less about how great I am that these things happen. And right now, I do feel pretty safe, though, as long as I don't see her at yoga classes. Really, nothing can happen. I don't have her phone number. I don't have her last name. I don't have anything on social media. It's pretty clean. Right? Nothing, nothing wrong with this. If you want to follow more of how I think through dating, attraction, and relationships, you can watch my Dating playlist.