This is my journal entry from December 13, 2025, part of my daily autobiography Divorce Day — my real, unedited days, published in order.
I’m on a roll today, baby. I went to the 8:30 a.m. meeting. There was a girl there I’ve known for a while. She’s pretty, and she said she’s not dating right now. So I told her I thought we should date. She said she’s not going to date guys she meets in that kind of setting anymore after it didn’t work out with someone before. After that I left pretty quickly, which actually felt good. I realized I don’t need to sit around in an awkward conversation. She said no, that’s fine, we’ll try again later or not. No big deal.
I also grabbed the bag because I’m chairing the meeting next week. Then I realized after I left that I had forgotten my chair there. I’d left so fast I didn’t even notice. So I had to drive about ten minutes round trip to go back and get it.
The exciting part of the meeting, though, was that I sold a copy of I Was Famous on the Internet for $10. Not to the girl I asked out, but to another woman at the meeting. She’s very pretty and she has a husband. She walked back to my car with me and bought a book. So your boy is getting out there. I’ve got a club meeting coming up on Tuesday too.
Selling that book felt really good. I’m like, yes, let’s sell these instead of just giving them away. There’s a big difference between giving a book away for $4 and selling it for $10. Instead of a $4 loss, that’s a $6 profit. It might not be a big deal for someone to send ten bucks on Venmo, but it was a big deal for me to receive it. I’m trying to stay open to receiving from the universe.
After that I went to my yoga studio and got there about thirty minutes early. I sat down and read Can You Catch a Cold?, which talks about how environmental factors like pollution can create flu and cold-like symptoms. It mentioned that in January 2020 there was a lot of pollution in China, and in the weeks after heavy pollution you can see what looks like big flu and cold outbreaks. Reading that left me with my own personal opinion that it would be nice if we didn’t have any more pandemics that I suspect might really be connected to environmental factors like pollution. That’s just my own belief, not medical fact.
A friend was there early too, so I talked with him for a while. I always enjoy conversations with a friend. He told me he had gone on a cruise with a bunch of overweight drinkers, which is definitely not his vibe. I told him that’s one of the reasons I’m not interested in cruises either. Being stuck on a boat with a bunch of people drinking all day sounds like hell to me.
Although my ex-wife and I once had a really fun, passionate cruise together. It was a great, intimate weekend until I made the mistake of saying something thoughtless and critical to her. She got offended and gave me the silent treatment. After that I spiraled, went into the casino, won a bunch of money, then lost it all and ended up really down by the end of the night. Honestly, the weekend would have stayed wonderful if I hadn’t gone down that road.
Anyway, back to today. A yoga instructor subbed for the flow class and led a nice power flow. I’ve really started to enjoy his unique vibe, especially the way he crouches down in Malasana while explaining each step as he narrates the flow. At yoga I noticed a girl who was beautiful, as your boy usually does. I made sure to talk to her. She had actually sat down in the chair I’d been sitting in a minute earlier to put her shoes on, so I walked over and introduced myself. We exchanged names. Now I’ll remember that if I see her again.
As a general rule, though, I’m not going to try to get phone numbers the first time I see someone at the yoga studio unless they’re showing really strong interest. She and I had a nice conversation. She was actually asking questions and going back and forth with me. I’ve been applying the ideas from Dr. Robert Glover’s dating book and testing interest levels. I wanted to see how interested she really was. She kept the conversation going and asked me things about myself. It was refreshing to have a woman actually engage like that instead of giving short answers.
I didn’t ask for her phone number. I just met her. I don’t want to be the guy trying to collect every woman’s phone number the first time I see them. But if I see her again, I’ll definitely talk to her. Your boy is on a roll and it’s not even noon yet. I asked one woman out at the meeting and then had a nice conversation with another woman at yoga.
After yoga I went home and made myself a big salad. Then I went over to see my ex-wife and the kids for a little while. My daughter was in a bit of a funk. My son was there too, and my niece was visiting, which was nice because I don’t get to see her much anymore. I hung out with them for a bit before heading back home.
This next part is something I probably wouldn’t do again if I could redo the day. I got back on Hinge. I know, I fucked up. I downloaded Hinge again. I told myself maybe I could try it with a different vibe this time.
While I was doing that I listened to the rest of Anthony Jeselnik’s new special. I think it’s called Bones and All or something like that. There were some really good jokes in it and I was laughing my ass off. I also downloaded fifteen other stand-up specials on Netflix because I want to laugh more and I want to get funnier myself.
But then I sat there swiping on Hinge for two hours. I tried writing comments that were playful or trolling a little. I even went back and forth with ChatGPT about lines for my profile. Next thing I know two hours of the day are gone.
That’s when I started thinking about how dumb that was. What if the life coach wants to date me tomorrow? That would mean I completely wasted those two hours today. What if any of the women I’m already talking to actually want to go out with me? If that happens then there’s absolutely no need for dating apps again.
The funny part is I literally wrote a book called It’s Not You, It’s the Dating Apps. And here I am downloading Hinge again. My bad. I’m deleting it tomorrow. I haven’t even gotten any likes yet anyway. It’s gone tomorrow.
After that I went over to my mom’s house around 4 p.m., maybe a little after. The kids were there. My daughter was outside in my mom’s backyard picking up dog poop for money. I stood there and talked with her for about ten minutes while she did that. I also talked with my son and hung out with my mom for a bit. It was nice just spending time together. Then I went home and had dinner. I ate some beans with those knockoff Triscuits from Whole Foods, plus a banana and a Larabar. That was dinner for the night.
Then I went over to the a local spiritual community event. Here we go again. The place was actually hopping tonight. I set my table up and laid out my books, and pretty quickly an acquaintance walked in. He is a storm chaser. He told me he had parked his car somewhere incredibly windy when Hurricane Milton rolled through last year and the damn siding got blown off the car near the wheels. He even had three other people sitting in the car with him while it was happening. That’s wild.
I had actually met him about five years ago at a gym. He was kind enough tonight to drop $20 in cash and buy two of my books. Out of all the books I have, he chose Speaker Meeting 2017 and 28 Strategies for Having Peace and Love in Your Life. Two of the oldest books in my catalog. I hope he enjoys them. Either way I’m grateful. That brought the total for the day up to $30 in sales.
Not long after that, a woman I’d met before walked in. Thankfully it wasn’t the other woman I’d come on too strong with earlier, although I would like to see her again at some point. She and I had left things on a good note the last time we talked, so it was nice seeing her again. Of course, a man from the dance community was there too, doing what he does best, which is talking to her as much as humanly possible. He loves to interrupt conversations, leaning in with his long gray hair and saying, “Sorry to interrupt,” when he clearly enjoys interrupting.
He spent most of the night talking her ear off whenever she wasn’t on the dance floor. At one point I swear she laid down on the dance floor just to have a break from him. Maybe they actually have great conversations, but it definitely looked like he was doing most of the talking. She and I did get about twenty minutes to talk though. Of course, he eventually wandered over and started looking at my books while we were mid-conversation. I’m thinking, can you give me a minute here? But that’s just how he is.
The conversation with her was actually really good. She told me she’s dating someone right now and she’s enjoying that. I also asked her about last week because I had been wondering if I read the situation correctly when I didn’t go in for a kiss. She told me that yes, I had read it correctly. She said she probably would have had to reject me if I had tried to kiss her, although she also said it would have been flattering.
That was nice to hear. I told her how much that whole interaction had made me think and what I’d been reflecting on since then. It felt good to have an honest conversation about it. Who knows what happens from here. Maybe she’ll stop dating that guy someday and we’ll end up going out. Or maybe none of that ever happens. A meteor could hit the planet tomorrow and we could all be dead. Who knows. Either way, I like the idea of just being as kind as I can to people. Even him. Honestly, respect to him for just going for it and talking nonstop. That’s the kind of thing I probably would have done fifteen years ago. Maybe they really do have great conversations.
Eventually the event started and everyone gathered in a circle. It was one of those a local spiritual community moments with the whole conscious community vibe. I get it. But tonight they were passing around a basket of rose petals and telling everyone to smell them and feel the sensation move through every cell of your body. I’m sitting there thinking, can we just start dancing already? Enough with the rose petals.
Despite the ceremonial bullshit, I’m sitting there getting excited because they say to pass the basket around and make eye contact with your neighbor. Right next to me is this really hot girl. She’s short with a darker complexion, maybe a little Middle Eastern mixed with white. Brown eyes, black hair, really pretty. She had given me a nice smile when she walked in earlier and I thought to myself, yeah, I’m definitely talking to her tonight. So when everyone sits down I make sure to sit next to her, because I’m a bit like that man in that way. I also noticed that man couldn’t sit next to the woman I’d met this time and part of me was happy about that. Then I catch myself thinking, you troll, that’s trifling. But if I’m honest with myself, I’m not happy she’s dating someone and I’m not happy he gets all that time talking to her either. So there’s truth in that. Anyway, moving right along, the gorgeous girl next to me passes the basket of rose petals to me, smiles again, and gives me some really good eye contact. I’m thinking, all right, yep, definitely talking to you between dances.
I take my three rose petals out of the basket and immediately start thinking how stupid this whole ceremony feels. I’m sitting there wondering if anyone is going to acknowledge how ridiculous it is. I sniff the rose because everyone else is doing it, mostly out of obligation, and hold the petals in my hand thinking I’m not even going to pretend this is some sacred moment. My mind is roasting me the entire time. It’s just running commentary about how silly this feels and how we could have started dancing thirty or forty-five minutes earlier instead of sitting here sniffing rose petals. The petals don’t even smell good. I’m looking at this dead flower thinking it doesn’t even smell like anything. For a second I even think about just putting it in my mouth and eating it, then I figure it’s probably toxic and decide not to. Looking back now I almost wish I had at least licked it.
Finally, they say we can get up and put the rose petals back in the basket and I’m instantly relieved. The guy next to me stands up right away and drops his petals back and I’m thinking thank you because I’m dying to get these things out of my hand. All these flowers died just so they could be used in this ceremony that feels like it’s dragging on forever. So I get up quickly and dump my petals back in the basket as casually as possible, like let’s just get this done. Then I go sit back down next to the girl. I’m trying not to stare at her constantly, but I’m definitely side-eyeing her and checking her out.
When the music finally starts, I grab her bolster and move it out of the way for her, look over, and smile. She smiles back and clearly appreciates it, which makes me think this is going well. Once we’re on the dance floor, she mostly stays dancing in the same spot while I move around the floor a lot more, dancing all over and occasionally glancing back to see where she is. I’m definitely keeping an eye on her while we dance.
After about an hour of dancing she finally stepped out of the room, and I followed a few minutes later in what I imagined was a cool, casual way. When I got outside, she was sitting down taking a little break, so I walked over and said, “Hey, let’s talk for a minute. I love your dancing. What’s your name?” She told me her name, and I laughed because it was the same first name as another woman I’d been talking with earlier in the night. I told her, not to make you feel less special or anything, but you’re not the only one here with that name tonight. She laughed about that. I asked where she was from and she said Austin and explained she’s kind of a nomad. That made me laugh too because the other woman I’d met here before was also from Texas and also a bit of a nomad. I told her that and said I was starting to think something strange was going on. She was smiling the whole time and seemed enthusiastic about the conversation. I touched her arm lightly while we were talking and everything felt relaxed.
Then she asked what I do. As soon as she asked that I had this feeling like, here we go, this is where everything falls apart. I walked her over to my table and showed her the books I had set up. She looked at them and said something like, “Well, I guess I know a lot about you now.” I pointed at the titles and joked about them. The Kind Divorce, Sober Through Separation, The Unpolished Truth: Learning to Live Alone Again. It pretty much told the story right there. I could feel the energy shift almost immediately. Her interest cooled off and she switched into a more polite tone and said she was going to head back to the dance floor. Damn. Looks like another night on my own, then.
I went back to the dance floor feeling like the evening was finished. I had talked to the woman I met. She was laying on the floor resting. The man from the dance community was wandering around looking like he didn’t have anything to do since he didn’t have her to talk to anymore. Some other guy was sitting in the corner looking like he might have passed out. I was proud of myself because I had plenty of energy on the dance floor for a while, but then all of a sudden I started yawning out there. Much love to the DJ at the event for DJing, but the transitions between songs were rough and that definitely knocked the energy down for me a few times. It felt like every time I got into a groove the music would abruptly shift and throw everything off.
After a few more minutes, I started yawning while dancing and thinking, all right, I’m done for the night. I didn’t really feel like hanging out there with either of these women who clearly weren’t going to date me. And that’s fine. In a strange way it still felt validating. A woman that attractive smiling at me and enjoying talking with me for a bit is still a good sign. If someone doesn’t like the real me once they see my books and understand my life, that’s fine too. I’d rather get to the rejection quickly than pretend to be someone else. If someone looks at my books and isn’t interested after that, then we can just move on.
So I walked back to my table and started getting ready to pack up my books. While I was doing that I ended up having a really nice conversation with a yoga instructor at the front desk. She’s married, which honestly makes things simple because there’s no awkwardness about trying to get a phone number or turning the conversation into something else. We talked for almost thirty minutes. She told me she appreciated having someone there she actually knew because she didn’t really know anyone else at the event that night. She recognized a few people, but I was the only one she really knew well enough to talk with.
During our conversation she told me something that surprised me. She said she doesn’t actually like having all eyes on her when she’s teaching yoga. I told her that I’m the opposite. My mind immediately went to that Tupac song, “All Eyez on Me.” We were talking about all kinds of things after that. There were a couple of Black guys at the event that night and I was telling her how much I enjoy being around the Black dudes in the conscious community. I always feel grateful for them being there. Sometimes people might say something like that sounds like discrimination, but the way I see it, appreciation can run in all kinds of directions. It reminded me of something Charlamagne tha God said. He wrote a book called Black Privilege, about how being Black can work in your favor in certain situations. And honestly, anything in life can work in your favor depending on how you approach it.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.