This is my journal entry from February 9, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
Woke up this morning with a new look in my eye. Ready to go. And I'm excited to dig into un-effing myself this morning. I'm committing to the title. We're going to stick with that. And I'm starting off the day with 8:30 a.m. yoga because that'll make time for everything else I'm doing today. I go to the 8:30 a.m. yoga. Nothing interesting happens with any of the women. Pretty chill class, but it's nice for a stretch and a good sweat today. I head out at 8:30 a.m. yoga. I have just enough time to come home and shower and have a nice big meal. I start listening to a new book since I finished the last one by Gary Zukav. I start listening to Everything is Fucked, a book about hope by Mark Manson. I roll through the first two and a half hours of the book, 36% of it at two speed. And I'm enjoying the stories he's telling in it.
I go to the AA meeting today and there's two girls there that I asked out via text are both there. My mood drops a little bit. Some guy in a white Tesla nearly drives right into the side of me. I'm turning left towards where the meeting is. So this guy has a stop sign he's sitting at. I have the right of way. I'm turning left. And the guy at a stop sign just starts pulling, like, right out into me, like, while I'm turning in front of him. Like, what are you doing right now? Come on. Like, Jesus Christ. Thankfully, we don't get into an accident. I'm like, well, I'll tell you what I'm grateful for today is that I didn't wreck on the way to this AA meeting. I pull in and park, and then I see a couple of guys in the meeting. I know they drive a white Tesla. I can't see where it's parked, though. I'm like, was that you? Like, was that you two driving like that? I'm like, I can't tell if it's them or not. I wish I'd checked the plate.
But I get to the meeting and I get called on towards the end of it. And I talk about what I realized with my brother and wanting another wife and my divorce and his second wedding and all that stuff, and it's a really emotional, powerful share, which I'm grateful for. One of the girls I texted to ask if she wanted to meet up for coffee or tea or something walks right after my share, goes to the bathroom. I don't know if it made her cry or not, but maybe she just needed to go to the bathroom.
Then I head out right after that to go get a massage with my massage therapist. We have a nice conversation. I catch her up on everything that's happened the last two weeks. I just love the way she listens. A fantastic listener, and I told her I really appreciated that about her, and I'm really grateful that we have made it through so many different things in the last nine years as friends, where she moved away for years, I wouldn't see her for a while, and here we are seeing each other consistently, and she supports me so well with helping my body relax where my elbow was stiff, like kind of from tennis elbow. She did a really good job helping all the muscles around that relax and that had gotten tense. And I leave the massage feeling fantastic.
I come home and start going through un-effing myself with ChatGPT. It starts telling me to sanitize the sex scenes in the book. And I'm like, man, I like some of the other people's sex scenes in their books. And at this point, look, I'm not making hardly any money selling my books. The money I spent on ads got one sale, which is nice, but I have very little to lose here right now. Like I have very little invested. If I can't just put my books out, like now is not the time to be sanitizing my books and trying to act like I'm some best-selling author that has to, you know, be really careful about not getting sued and make sure all my language is perfect and stuff. Like, hardly anybody's reading my books right now. Let's be real about where I'm at. I'm writing books because I like that I can more authentically express myself in books. I'm used to having to censor my speech all the time for video platforms. And if I have to do that in books too, it's like, why bother? Why bother writing books? Like, I'd rather just put my books up there. You know, I want to take typos and stuff out. But if I can't just talk plainly, and if I can't say some girl's name from college 20 years ago, just by a first name, it's like, who would even recognize this girl? There's only a handful of people in the world that would even recognize this girl. What are the odds any of them encounters it? And it's a print-on-demand book. If the girl were to be like, you know, that's really fucked up, fine, I'll take her name out of the book. But this is not the time to be paranoid. So I'm like, all right, ChatGPT, just find typos. I'm tired of this. Like find typos. We don't need to go through and be paranoid, okay?
My ex-wife comes over and drops the kids off. They relax around the house and eat a bit. And then we go to the park. We bring the drone and my whole basket of tennis balls and a baseball bat. One kid flies a drone while I pitch balls to the other kid. I'm initially throwing with my left hand because my right had a bit of tennis elbow. But I find after the massage, my right hand's throwing great. I started getting a bit of tennis elbow after I threw the football for like 30 minutes one day and then threw it again a few days later and was playing tennis and lifting weights and doing these power yoga flows. At some point, people are like, oh, your body gets older. I'm like, no, I'm challenging my body. My body's in fantastic shape. Sometimes things get hurt in my body because I am using them a bunch, and they need to get strengthened. I'm super grateful for that.
We take my daughter to her practice a few hours later, and my mom shows up with her dog this time, which I told her I didn't think she wanted to take her dog to the gym. But she's like, I'm going to take my dog to the gym. So she brings her dog and they sit over in the corner and it works out great. I jump up and like do a layup. And one of the dads who's probably born within a handful of years of me, he's like, oh, I couldn't do that anymore. I wouldn't want to hurt myself. And I'm like, I respect your opinion. I understand that viewpoint. But I never want to be living my life to where I can't jump up and lay up a basketball or something because I'm afraid that I'm going to hurt myself. I do yoga. I keep my body in shape so that I can be functional, and I love that. We have a nice time. I'm so proud of my daughter. She went to her practice and gave it her all. I asked her, I'm like, how's it feeling, and she's like, fine. I don't want to plant ideas in my kids' mind, so I just asked how's it feeling, she's like, it's fine, I'm like, cool. That's a good sign for her.
I take the kids home and my mom comes over. Well, my mom is going to come over to say goodnight to them, but she sends us a video to say goodnight anyway. And I haven't heard back from my brother after sending him a text last night, but he's on a snowboarding trip. The signal might be sketchy up there. And I'm going to write him a letter anyway. I haven't heard back from the woman I made amends to, but that's fine. Like my job is to make amends. And sometimes people need time to process things, especially when there's significant depth of feelings and hurt.
I left my ads alone today, which was nice. I just turned all the ads back on in the morning, but I didn't look at any of them. I'm like, fuck it. Like, this is the time. Advertise all my books. Advertise all of them, no matter what content is in there. Put Officer Banfield back up in Amazon ads. It actually did sell a book. Just throw everything up there. Test all of it. It's better to find out if it's not going to work as soon as possible. Like, it's better to stress test it and find out as soon as possible if it's not going to work. You know, if I can advertise a book like Officer Banfield, that's a pretty good sign. If I can't make sales on any of the books I advertise, well, that's a good sign too, and I'd rather know as soon as possible. I put the kids to bed, I shower, I read some of The Unknown Reality Volume 2 by Jane Roberts, and then I head to bed with the kids. I get in there about 10, and I'm looking forward to a nice night of sleep.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.