This is my journal entry from February 6, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
It's cold in the room this morning. I turned the space heater down enough and the air blowing constantly in the room did not compensate. Boy, it overcompensated. We were too cold. And that's okay. We got up this morning, had a good time getting ready together. I get the kids to school on time and I arrive at the 8:30 yoga class where I've been looking forward to see if the most attractive girl I've seen at my yoga studio is there. She is outstanding. And where am I going to put my mat? Well, there's a spot right behind her again. I've put my mat right behind her at least three times, two or three times before, along with being beside her. And it's a big ass room. But there's just this nice big space behind her. And I feel it would be dishonest if I went to put my mat somewhere else. All I care about is being next to her. So let's be real. I put my mat down next to her and feel out the vibes. She's turning around doing a little stretch and I am looking at her and she gives me a quick little smile and I'm like, nice. All right, I guess this is being received well, which is good. Not some creepy guy that puts his mat right behind you three times in a row, but oh, all right, somebody that you're actually feeling and you're happy I'm close to you. That's good.
We do this hot power flow class and wow, it is hot as hell. I'm starting to pour sweat in like five minutes. And the instructor, it makes it intense. Especially after that quad workout yesterday from my personal trainer. Good lord, this is the first class I've had in a while where I'm starting to wonder if I can even go through and do all the poses. And I keep wondering if I'm going to brown out at some point, too. I call it a brown out, like when you start to see stars, like a gentle version of passing, like right before you pass out, you brown out. I haven't passed out before, but I imagine passing out is just the brown out keeps spiraling. But I don't brown out at all today, despite sweating and feeling like, damn, this is a lot. I get it all done. And I enjoy watching the girl in front of me as much as I can. She's by far the most beautiful girl I've seen at this studio before.
After class, we lay down and do shavasana, and I'm like, here we go. The whole class has felt like a build-up to this. I am prepared to tell her the truth, that I think she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen at this studio before. But I don't want to lay this compliment on her unless she's open to receive it. So I'm looking for signs, and I get one. I take it slow. I get up and, you know, take my yoga towel and moving slow. Like, remember, I decided I'd move slow before. I'm looking at her body language. Does she seem open? I walk next to her a little bit. Is she going to move and turn a little bit? She does. So I start talking. I say, wow, that was an intense class. And she begins talking back to me. And I'm so happy that she actually asks me my name first. She sticks out her hand and says her name. And I shake her hand and I'm like, wow, you've got an awesome grip. Like this is one of the strongest grips I've felt on a woman before. And oh man, the energy there of this grip and the girl actually having a little bit of interest in me is, oh, it's so good.
I'm figuring that she's giving me the signs to go forward with the compliment, right? So she says something that she mainly comes to this class on Friday. And that's the only class she comes to. She does workouts at other places. And I don't want to lay this compliment on while there's a bunch of other girls around either. I just want it to be for her. The perfect time lines up. She walks down the end of her mat. And I tell her, you know, said hi and said something like, you know, I hope you have a nice Friday or something. Like, all right, she's letting me know I can go. At the same time, like, if I don't say this, I'm going to regret this whole week. So I'm saying it. So I tell her, I say, hey, I just want you to know, I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in the studio before. And she looks at me and she smiles and she seems to take the compliment really well. And she says, thank you. And I end up saying something like, that's why I noticed you. And she says, thank you. And, you know, she's ready to walk out. So I say, you know, I'll see you next Friday. I'm figuring like I just want to give this girl something to think about at this point, that I think she's that beautiful. And I just want to give her the gift of feeling good and seeing herself the way I see her. And I have that love to share with her. And let's see what happens when she thinks about that all week. I don't know anything else about her life, hardly, except that she does power yoga here. And she's gorgeous. And she's got a strong handshake. And she was actually friendly with me, which felt so good.
I'm just absolutely like euphoric high after that interaction. And I've still got a bit of the power hot yoga brain. I walked back to my car, which is parked two blocks away. And I realized I left my yoga mat in the studio. Meanwhile, it's like 50 outside, but I'm just walking with my yoga towel because I'm so hot and sweaty. I go back and grab my yoga mat, and I'm just so grateful. I'm like, thank you. Thank you for saying that compliment. Thank you for getting that out, for approaching her, and for paying attention to her. If she'd have given me clear signals that she didn't want to talk to me, I would have stayed away and I wouldn't have said that. If she hadn't like asked my name first and shown some mutual interest, I wouldn't have said that. But since she did, I feel so good that I read her cues and I opened and I shared what I had to say and that she actually reflected some of that energy back. And my God, it feels good. I'm getting excited. Like even whatever happens with her, this is a good indication of what I'm going to feel with my second wife. This absolute excitement and joy. And my mind runs wild with the dream of it for the next hour. And I take a shower. I have chips and guacamole. And then it's straight to work.
What I love about her is she inspired me to be super playful one day in class. It was my way of peacocking. One day when I was behind her, I just was playful as hell in the class. I remember a yoga student I saw once a year and a half ago at a yoga class out of state. And I still remember how playful she was. Her energy and how much fun she was having doing yoga. I've never seen a girl in a thousand yoga classes have that much fun and be that playful. And when I was behind this woman maybe two weeks ago, that playful energy took hold of me. I remembered that playful energy and I put it into my yoga practice. It seems she picked up on that energy and liked it also.
When I feel good and I feel grateful, it inspires me to blast forward with my book, I'm Seeking a Wife. I do it properly today on my desktop instead of like yesterday I went through on my laptop. I open a new prompt. I give ChatGPT clear instructions on the prompt today. Unlike yesterday, the instructions are very clear. The instructions say that I want it to be rewritten like it was written by a professional writer while keeping my authentic, emotionally honest voice. Including all original subject matter without censorship, even on personal topics such as sex, relationships, and spirituality. The style should be direct and detailed, including all my exact examples and stories. I tell it to combine short sentences into smooth, expanded sentences. Maintain all details. Do not soften. Medium to long paragraphs. Keep the tone authentic and vulnerable. All I need you to do is improve structure, transitions, and clarity. The result should feel polished, professional, and fully readable. Standardized names. No moralizing or added details. And no em dashes. That prompt kills it. That prompt gives me the exact perfect writing I'm looking for. I roll through the entire manuscript, which is not that long, actually. I rolled through the whole manuscript in around an hour, and I'm proofing it while ChatGPT is cranking everything out. The entire manuscript is 73,000 characters, which is 24 pages in Microsoft Word and comes out to 16,000 words. I read it, and I absolutely love it. I love what I've written. I don't make too many changes to it. Very few changes. I asked ChatGPT to go through and check out the KDP, the Kindle compliance to make sure I haven't screwed anything up. It recommends a couple of minor polishes, like when I'm talking health stuff, to qualify that it's not medical advice. And it smooths a couple of little sentences.
I then go into Amazon. And get everything submitted in Amazon. I even asked ChatGPT for guidance on what colors I should use for the cover. Although the cover, I don't know. The cover is not, I don't know if the cover came out. My writing is pretty good, but the cover is pretty ordinary, all right? It's just a straightforward, regular-ass cover. Maybe I should pay somebody on Fiverr to do a nicer cover, but I did the cover. I went outside. I took nine selfies of myself, which I guess is redundant. I took nine selfies in a collared shirt, and ChatGPT picked the one it liked the best, and I agree with it. I'm like, yeah, that is a nice picture. I throw that on the cover, crank that out, put everything in Amazon, crank the description out, format the manuscript, and submit it. I am so grateful that yesterday I dictated this. Today, I've submitted it to Kindle.
I take a walk around Crescent Lake Park after this, as well as handling some other tasks, like working on a friend's audiobook. And I get back, and after a few hours of the walk and working on other things, I see that the book is approved. It's past review, which ChatGPT was very confident it would. And it's ready to go. I see it live on Amazon. And I'm so excited. I have a book that says I'm seeking a wife on Amazon. As far as I can see, this is an original idea. That nobody's done something quite like this before. How amazing. And it's time to get the ads up.
Before I go to submit the ads, I go to meet my ex-wife and my son at soccer. I get there and have a nice conversation with my ex-wife. At one point, I was talking about emotions and feelings and her feelings, and she quickly says one of those old things she used to say about, oh, it's none of your business how I feel. And I remember I start feeling a little hurt. And I immediately start saying, look, I forgive her for saying that. Because right afterwards, I qualify that, hey, yeah. You have a right to keep your feelings private. But at the same time, you know, I thought we were here to support each other through this process. And that means, you know, knowing that the other person's feeling the same way. And she acknowledges that. And in the past, in the marriage, I might have spiraled on this and tried to change her or brought that up. But it reminds me of, you know, the scene in American History X where the guy's talking about how when your girl comes to visit, it's got to be sweet talk through that glass. You don't want your visit to go poorly and then have to stew on that in prison. And I'm thinking of that, too, for being divorced. It's like, yeah, I only get like an hour a week with my ex at soccer and I don't want to be creating drama or anything like that. You know, I want it to just be sweet talk and it's up to me to forgive her for anything. And I'm like, this is how I want to be in my next marriage. I want to act much more like this instead of how I acted before. And I love that my book, I'm Seeking a Wife, sets me up with that vision in mind and holds me accountable to it. Can you imagine if I was not holding up to that, how easy it'd be for a girl to have material with that book, literally describing what I wanted to do and then being able to hold up and say, hey, you're not living up to this.
I call my sponsor and he tells me that I should bring her like a rose or a card, candy for Valentine's Day next week. I'm like, you know, that's sweet. At the same time, if I'm going to give her something, I'm going to give her this book printed out. I'm going to give her this book printed out that says I'm looking for a wife and, you know, this is what I'm looking for. He's like, I don't think that's a good idea. That's too much. I'm like, but look. That's keeping it real. I'm looking for a wife. I'm not looking for hookups. I would think the right woman would appreciate me being direct and not wasting her time and appreciate seeing exactly what I am looking for. I'm going to print that letter out and I'll have it in my car in case I need to give it to anybody. And it wouldn't necessarily even have to be the target themselves, so to speak. It could just be, you know, maybe she would have a friend that would read that letter and love it, for example. Or I'd give it to some mom at an AA meeting, and she could read it and give it to her daughter if she liked it. The book is there to make my intentions clear, and I don't know exactly who is going to receive them. And to me, the best thing I could give somebody would be sharing myself like that. Although my sponsor says, you're going to do what you're going to do, and I need to forgive him. I'm forgiving him for saying that as well. But I guess it's true. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. I just don't see like bringing her a rose or something next week. Like that's too, I don't know. I literally talked to her once and just got her name. I don't know that that'd be a thing. I'm probably not going to give her a letter either. But we'll see. I got a whole week to think about her. And I'm so interested to see how that'll go.
After coming home from soccer, I submit my Amazon ads. And I just saw at the time of recording this, my ads are approved and they're serving on Amazon, baby. Your boy's advertising to his second wife on Amazon. Let's go. If this all works, this is gonna be the most awesome story. And I'm gonna have documented every part of the process, which will make it amazing.
I then go to an AA meeting. It's out on the beach. I get all dressed up and stuff and I get there to find there's just one other person there. For some reason, this meeting's dead and I'm like, the hell? So I go to another meeting, get there five minutes late. It was a popcorn meeting. Literally every single person in the room got called on but me. I was like, okay, you know what? I do have these recordings that I get to talk to. I do have ample opportunity to express myself. So it's OK. In a gratitude meeting where I had so much gratitude to share, nobody called on me. That's just fine.
After the meeting, I hold the door for a couple of women and I remember the name of one. The other one is younger and she's a little bit cute. And she actually asked what my name is and says hi to me. And for some reason, I then start talking to the older woman and engaging her in conversation while ignoring the younger one. I walk out and I have lost track of the cuter one, too, just going down the stairs somehow. I was paying so much attention to the older one. I let go of paying attention to the younger one. I walk back to my car and I think, you know, maybe I could have been more social here. I get my car and I drive by and I see the younger and the older one talking. And at first, I kind of thought that the one girl that I'm saying is a little cute now wasn't really on my radar. And I'm like, all right, maybe we need to open up a little bit more. And then I have a debate on the way home in my head. I'm like, okay, are personalities really that much different? But maybe I'll open up a little bit more because that was nice. A girl actually said hi to me and started talking to me. And maybe if I'd have been a little more open to her, because I'd already taken inventory of the room. There was one girl that was attractive and she appeared to be with a guy there. So I'd already taken inventory of the room and prejudged it and said there's nothing going on here. Maybe I shouldn't prejudge so quickly. Maybe that girl has an amazing personality that'd make it all worth it. I'll keep that in mind in the future.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.