This is my journal entry from February 12, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
I start the day off with a call with Joe Parys. I had a call with Joe Parys about his business building courses online, and he's got his initial offer up and he made a sale. I recognized the name from a guy who'd been in my partner program 10 years ago. It's cool he still follows Joe Parys and bought his course bundle. I helped Joe fix a bunch of things, little things like how to get his camera filming horizontal videos and vertical videos in OBS. And, you know, talked about what he could do in the future for his business to scale up. At the same time I also asked him, I'm like, do you really think people need more online courses? Like, aren't there enough online courses? I realize other people are selling them, but, you know, if we think holistically, do we need more online courses? You know, is it the best use of your time to make something that is questionable whether it's really needed or not, even if you can sell it and use paid ads to make it go? It seems like an uphill battle. I also ended the call saying, you know, a couple of calls I've done are just like free coaching for him, basically. So I'm like, all right, we're going to need to charge for this next time.
After the call with Joe, I went to my AA meeting. I didn't get called on, and I enjoyed being there, but did I really accomplish anything here? I stayed sober. I guess that's good. Did I help somebody? I don't know. I showed up. I said hi to people.
I go to my training session with my personal trainer. I tell him about meeting the woman from my yoga class last week, and he's excited. At the same time, I'm wondering, I'm like, you know, he does personal train me, but I don't know if this is his passion. Like I've had other trainers that were more passionate and did different exercises, and he just kind of has me do the same stuff every time. I'm wondering how do I gently propose to him that maybe there's something else that he's really gifted for, and with all his effort trying to hustle and sell personal training, there might be something better he could offer to the world. It's not unlike what I said to Joe Parys.
If only I could figure out exactly what the fuck it is I have to offer to the world. I'm confused today. I'm like, man, these books are not selling. Ads aren't making them sell. And do we really need more books in the world too? Just doesn't seem like we do. Same as online courses. I mean, you could easily make the argument that I made to Joe about doing books. I'm like, man, I don't know. Can I even do events? Just struggling.
After getting training from my personal trainer, I go over to the grocery store. The one pretty girl in the store that doesn't have a wedding ring on, of course, is totally stone-faced and not interested at all in looking at me or being friendly. Fuck, man. I come home and I have a nice big lunch. I screw around doing some work until the kids get home. Then we hang out, we go to the park, we fly the drone, which is nice. And we drive the car around, we have fun.
I run into a mom in the park who's actually friendly and attractive and has a couple of family members with her. She doesn't have a ring on either. She has a little girl that gets very interested in the car my son's driving. And I talk to her and she's friendly. I'm like, wow. Maybe this is the one. And I ask if she's a single mom. Bring it up very directly in front of her mom and her mom's sister. And she's like, no, I have a partner. I'm like, oh, OK, well, you know, then I say nice meeting them and move on. Talk to one of my neighbors. Her son's very interested in my son's car as well. It's fun to see the kids, how much they love stuff when they're like one or two years old. They're just so full of wonder and curiosity about the world. Man, I need to cultivate some more of that myself because I feel really burnt out and frustrated and defeated.
I build this mounting sense that the woman from my yoga class isn't going to come tomorrow, and that starts to build. I already start to feel like, fuck, I don't even want to deal with the emotional pain and fallout of this. Why can't it just be a nice, positive, fun scenario where it works out, we fall in love, and it's great? Why does it fucking have to be this? But at the same time, I'm remaining curious. I'm like, okay, we don't know. We have no idea. And I gotta find out. Thinking I should just not even go to class. Fuck it. Just don't even go. Then I could think whatever I want to. But if I go, then I'm gonna have a clear knowing. But you know I have to go.
My mom comes over. But first, I take the kids out to an evening event. I get dressed up in my nice clothes. Walk around, talk to some of the parents. I talked to a friend who I haven't talked to in a little while, who enthusiastically read the first couple of books I gave him. And I tell him that I'm thinking maybe I need to have events. Maybe I need to have some deeper connection events like I tried to start before. I think that's the thing that's scarce. What's scarce is in-person stuff. And what's abundant, what there's too much of, if anything, is content online. But how the hell do I get people to come to events? I told my personal trainer about this and everybody says, how do you get people to start these events, that's what's hard. And I'm like, I know, that's why I haven't. But I started an in-person show back in 2020 and I actually got 20 people to come, but it wasn't very good either. Like what if I get people to come to something and it's not even good?
I enjoy the event with the kids. I talked to a local officer there, watched him dunk on some kid playing basketball, which is fun. I go home with the kids, but I'm getting sadder and sadder. I just have this knowing that the woman from yoga's not coming tomorrow. I'm like, God damn it. I hope I'm wrong. Maybe I'm trying to set myself up to avoid disappointment. Maybe I'm intuitively reading that she's deciding tonight she's not going to come tomorrow.
My mom gets here and the kids hang out with her and are silly and laugh. I have a nice cry sitting in my chair watching them play The Floor is Lava right as my mom's arriving. My mom enjoys good snuggles with them. The dog is silly and gets underneath my bed. The kids take a while getting in bed, but they don't have school tomorrow, so it's all good. They barely make it in bed before 10. My mom sings goodnight to them and I do too. I walk my mom out and I go right to bed in with the kids. I'm halfway between dreading tomorrow and excited for tomorrow. Fuck, man.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.