This is my journal entry from March 1, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
I get up this morning at seven and I'm feeling the 8:30 power flow at my yoga studio this morning. I have my Larabar and my banana, head over to the power flow, put my mat in the front left corner of the room, you know, where a woman from my yoga class used to have her mat. And a pretty girl puts her mat to the left of me. Good looking dude to the right. I'm in front of the mirror. I'm smiling. I'm enjoying the class. And I get a good workout, but not too intense, which is nice. Nothing happens afterwards trying to be friendly or smile. No luck as usual. And I forget my yoga towel. I did talk to the yoga instructor a little bit after class.
I head back home and I'm like, all right, if I'm going to get something done today, it's going to be finishing publishing on Fn Myself. So I commit to getting that done and we'll do that. And I get home and I shower and I have the idea. Somebody suggested I should do some more free books as case studies for people. So I send out a few messages offering a couple of the girls I liked, actually three of them, to do their life stories. And two of them don't respond. The one has the decency to say no thanks. I send other messages to people to catch up. And most of the people don't respond. Men or women, you know, at least my nephew responds. The one girl responds. A guy responds from my recovery group. I got some responses. I got a few other no responses. This one girl I got a massage with before I exchanged with her for marketing and she didn't do it. It's been like six months. I sent her a message saying I'd pay her if she wanted to. She didn't respond. It's like, the fuck's with people not even responding, man. Jesus, I need to get some new goddamn contacts. People don't respond. It's just fucking delete them out of my phone. It's ridiculous. Oh, maybe I'm too sensitive, though. But after, it's funny, I was feeling so good. I'm like, yeah, I'm an invite, you know, I get all excited and then nobody responds, and I'm like, fuck, then I feel bad. I'm like, why did I do that? Why did I even put myself out there? I kind of spiral downwards.
I get on Fn Myself, the audio version edited and submitted, which I feel very good getting that done. Then my ex-wife calls up and says the kids are ready. So I go over and play Settlers of Catan with them, which was awesome. We had so much fun playing Settlers of Catan. The kids learned the game super fast. And I'm like, man, my ex-wife is just so responsive. And then my massage therapist messaged me. And although she even drops off on the last message. Like, what is it with, you know, this? Why are so many people that don't even respond to my messages? But then some do. It's like, well, I guess I just need to find, you know, another woman that responds to my message. I send a message to the girl that I went out with on Friday. I send her a message saying, good afternoon. I hope you're enjoying your weekend. And I appreciate your curiosity yesterday. She didn't fucking respond. I'm dictating this to like 10:15. So she didn't respond for 10 hours. I'm like, well, I guess the date's off tomorrow. I wasn't that interested in her in any way, whatever.
I enjoy playing with the kids and somebody dumped a bunch of fence. Like they took down a fence and dumped it in my ex-wife's alley right next to the trash can. I'm like, that's illegal. Like the fuck are they doing there? You can't just go put whatever you want to trash like in somebody else's alley. It's ridiculous. So I helped my ex-wife figure out which house it was. Then I go over to my mother's house afterwards. I figure, you know, if I'm feeling bad, my mother often helps me feel better. I just need to stay away from my mother if I'm actually feeling good because she seems to take the edge off feeling good lots of times. I hang out. My mother talked to her a little bit. She is more curious about the date today, which is funny. I don't even feel like talking about it that much at this point. I'm grateful I have talked to enough people about it already. I'm like kind of over it. And I talk to my mother a little bit. I tell her when I'm going to leave, and I make a thing of popcorn despite the seed oil in it. Then I head back to my house.
I get dressed up and ready for the recovery meeting, and I arrive there a solid 15, 20 minutes early since I'm chairing tonight. My sponsor's doing the lead, and a friend is there. I'm like, I'm going to make sure he talks to this girl there. So I have fun introducing myself, saying hi to everybody, but I'm in a shitty mood. I'm like, what the fuck is going on with, like, me and dating communication, like it all just feels so shitty, and now I'm doubting whether this matchmaking service will work either, but at least they produced a date out of it that was interesting and I got 11 more, so that's good. I then share the meeting. The meeting goes great. My sponsor does a fantastic lead, both the people I was hoping to get to talk to each other and encouraging to share, they both share, which is great. I wrap it up, talk to my sponsee after the meeting, then I go talk to the new girl that I'm encouraging my friend to talk to, and I chat with her, and then I literally, like, I'm talking to him and she goes to walk by. I'm like, you know, he calls out her name, and then I walk off as soon as she starts talking to him so they can talk to just the two of them. He didn't feel like it went that good, but I'm like, you know, that's all right, you know, you just got to get up there and try. But then I'm like, I'm out here trying all the time and I don't often feel good. I'm like, I'm trying constantly and nothing's happening. But then I was thinking on the way from the meeting, like, well, sometimes, you know, I tried constantly before my ex-wife, and you know, I had a really nice relationship for most of the time with my ex-wife.
After the meeting, me and some of the boys are hanging out and talking and chatting, and you know, I was talking to one of them, he's like asking me about dating and stuff in detail, and I tell him how, like, this woman I'd been talking to, I asked her to do something at my yoga studio the night after I met her, and she's one of the girls I texted today to see if she wanted to do her life story. So if I look back at the message, I met her on the 25th, then I sent her a thing. She sent me three messages back saying, thank you for the invitation, I'm traveling, I'm not sure, but we'll see each other again, great talking, I'm glad we're friends. I literally didn't message her after that for two months. All right. Like I, she sent me three messages back. I didn't message her for two months after that. My friend's like, bro, that's where you're fucking up. Like she really responded to your message, she sent you three nice messages back, you didn't respond for two months. And then I sent her a message after that saying that, you know, she was the second best memory from the event. She immediately responded and said which was the first one. I again waited two weeks to respond to her, and like, no fucking shit, then I send her a message and she didn't respond to that. It's like, what am I doing? What am I doing? I'm getting like hurt and rejected so easily. I ask a girl out one time or I send one message, she didn't respond to it, I'm like, fuck this, I'm done with her.
And then I remember a woman I had been seeing talking about how she really liked that this guy at work persisted with her and kept asking her out. And, you know, she finally got through her defenses. And now I'm just confused. I'm like, but all these mixed messages, like women want to be safe, but they want adventure, like they want their boundaries respected, but they also want guys to like break through their defenses and persist. And I'm just like, what the fuck is happening? Like, this is so confusing. But I had lots of laughs talking with the guys afterwards. One of them was telling a story that had us all laughing, and I laughed so hard until the muscles of my skull hurt a little bit, like on the outside. And that's where I'm at today.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.