Dear Diary, this is for February 26, 2025, my 5,021st day on YouTube. Today I'm trying a new background to give people a bit more of an idea of what's in my diary instead of a generic picture. To me, the highlight of my day was playing tennis against a guy who beat me twelve games to two, 6-1, 6-1 in two sets. In the past, I've often gotten very frustrated when I'd hit a shot into the net, hit a shot out of bounds, or double fault my serves. What was really special today is that I appreciated his skill. If he weren't as good, I wouldn't hit as many shots out of bounds or into the net. If he weren't as good, I would have pounded him. He makes me a better player by playing against me.
I appreciated how fast my opponent's serves were today. There were a good number of his serves that were so fast I just couldn't do anything with them. I'd hit them out of bounds. I could hardly even hit the serve at all. Instead of being frustrated and feeling like I suck and that I hate myself, today I just observed the game and watched what was happening. I'd think, okay, so he hit his serve there and I couldn't get to it fast enough, so my racket face was up and I hit the ball and it went out. I watched it with a focus on learning.
I also hit some amazing shots, and he was impressed with some of them. He said one of them was the best shot of the day. He hit a ball hard toward the back left of the court on my backhand, and he was shocked I even got to it. I hit it and didn't think it was going to go over, but it barely cleared the net. It fell right over and died. He just stood there and looked at it. He said, "I can't believe that. I can't believe you got that." And I told him I didn't think it was going over either. He said, "That was the best shot I've seen today." That's fun.
Setting an intention for my mind
What's nice is that in previous tennis games I set the intention, "Dear mind, I want you to figure out how to be happy and enjoy the game. I want you to figure out how to appreciate your opponent's level of skill rather than putting yourself down." The last time I played tennis with the same guy, I remember one time I hit a shot into the net and my first thought was, "I hate myself." Isn't that silly? I hit a shot into the net. Why would you hate yourself over hitting a shot into the net?
I love this body for being able to get out there from 10:30 to 11 a.m. in Florida, in the sun, no sunscreen, because I want to soak all that sun energy up. To get out there and play tennis with a guy who's much better than I am, who's got a fast, hard serve, who can get all over the court and control his shots. If I play close to the net, he'll hit them right past me on the right and the left. If I play back, he'll dink little short shots. He was hitting a bunch of hard, fast shots toward the sides of the court yesterday. I told him, "I've never seen your shots be so accurate, cranking these hard shots to the left and right, right along the middle alley line sides of the court." I just stood there. I can't get that. It's hard and fast. That's a great shot.
What I shared at my AA meeting about psychic change
I went to my Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last night at seven at night. I'm recording this the next day so that I really have the entire day instead of trying to record halfway through the day. The topic was psychic change. What I said is that the biggest psychic change for me was a shift in point of view. I used to think, "I'm a human. My name's Jerry Banfield. This is my life story. I was born in 1984. When I die, that's it. I don't know if there's anything else. Maybe I have a soul, maybe I don't."
To me, the biggest psychic change was going from identifying as "I'm a human being, maybe I have a soul, or maybe there's a God, or maybe there's something, but who I am is just me and this body and this story," to transcending that story and seeing that who I am is much more than a body and a story. In fact, who I am is what created this body. On a bigger level, who I am is what created all bodies and all stories. Who I am is creating all this right now. That's who I am. This body is like a game I'm playing, an adventure I'm having, a journey I'm on. I posted a video on the Jerry Banfield Experience channel called "I Died and Went to the Gray Void," which goes into a dream I had where I died and was in another lifetime and then was very relieved to come back to this one.
I shared at my AA meeting that the biggest psychic change is knowing why I'm here. I'm here because I'm creating this, because I'm choosing to be here. If you want to look at this on the earth, the human level, I'm here to raise the consciousness of humanity, to educate, and to be a teacher among the humans on this planet. That's why I've incarnated in this particular story and I'm playing this particular game.
I caught up with some people, including a girl who did the topic. I hadn't seen her in a while, and it was so nice to catch up with her. I love when people share their real lives with me, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Things like, "My job's a bit of a challenge right now. I've been having more arguments with my boyfriend. My health's going great. I'm off the medications. I'm thriving. I'm really happy with my sober life. Overall, my relationship's very good. I'm getting more comfortable with my work. I'm doing my yoga." I love when people share their whole lives with me. That's special to me, because what I've come to believe is really powerful is that diseases like alcoholism, or the addiction of loneliness and isolation, are healed by talking and sharing our experiences with others. That's how we get out of it.
The mile run as a metaphor for this life
After the meeting last night, I ran my seventh day in a row of a one-mile run. It felt so good last night. In just a week of running a mile every day, it felt so good. Instead of just starting the run and wishing for it to be over, I think of the run as a metaphor for this human existence. I believe I've had many, infinite things I've done before this human existence, and there are going to be so many afterward. I don't want this existence to just be over immediately. I want to enjoy it. Some of my previous runs left me feeling, "Hey, I just want to get this over with." Last night it was different. I just wanted to enjoy this. I wanted to enjoy feeling alive.
During my run last night, I focused on a person in my life that I've been feeling fear and resentment toward. I sang in my head the song my wife used to sing to our daughter and our son. I put a little song out called "I Love You So" on my music channels. I sang that song to the person in my head to try to focus loving energy on them, hoping that we could get along with each other. I don't know how that's going to work out. I can aim and picture the result. That's what I can do.
What I shared in my meeting is that people talk about, "Well, God did this for me." In my belief, no. If you think of God as a separate entity, God created me like themselves and gave me all the same powers. I have free will to do whatever I want. I think of God and me as one entity. So if I see something I don't like, what I do is identify it first. I don't like my mind getting all upset and pissed off because I hit tennis shots that don't go in. I identify what I don't like, and then I get specific and say, "I want you, mind. I want you, body. Next time I want you to be appreciative of how skilled your opponent is and how grateful you should be that someone better than you is willing to play with you and to whoop your ass every week. I want you to focus on learning the game, studying the game. I want you to focus on how grateful you are that you're in shape to do this."
Why I needed to watch Agassi and Sampras first
When I set that intention, I do need other people's help. What I didn't tell you about tennis is that the night before, I watched Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras play the US Open quarterfinal in 2001. I watched the two of them play tennis for twenty minutes. And you know what I learned? They do the same stuff I do. Their shots are just coming way faster, harder, and more accurate. But sitting there watching some of the best tennis players in the world whack a shot into the net, hit a shot that goes off into the crowd, hit shots out of bounds, hit a little short shot their opponent can't get to, I realized these are the same things I'm doing out there. It's the same game. The game's just faster and harder and more accurate if you're a professional. And the shots are harder if you're playing somebody better than you, because their shots are faster and more accurate.
So I had to watch them play to help my mind get proper perspective on my play. I couldn't just wish for my mind to change without taking action. I set the destination, then I gave my mind permission to figure it out: "I don't know exactly what you need to do to reprogram, but this is what I want you to do." Then a desire came up, and I swear YouTube reads people's minds. This Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras match came up. The desire came up to watch it, so I watched it, and then I played tennis, and it made a huge difference.
Working with others, and the wealth of time
The girl who was talking to me last night, the one with the relationship, talked to me two years ago and said, "Jerry, I'm single, and I've always struggled with relationships." I completed this same process with her. I said, "Tell me about the kind of guy you'd like to be with. What would he be like?" She told me about the kind of guy she wanted to be with, and she met him shortly afterward. To me, that's how life works. But you've got to work with other people and let other people help you.
I also watched my daughter at car line yesterday. I dropped the kids off early, and then I felt really time wealthy. I felt so rich in time to be able to just sit there and watch my daughter at car line for about ten minutes. I watched her open the doors, and somebody forgot their water, so she ran in and brought it to him. She's dancing around at car line. She's wanted to do car line since she was in kindergarten, and she's in fourth grade now. I'm grateful that I know the value of time wealth.
But I know that because I once sat with a homeless guy. I had a friend who was homeless. I met him when he was homeless, and I used to sit and talk to him sometimes, sometimes for thirty minutes. Sitting next to him, I got this sense of time wealth, like this guy is a billionaire in time. He has all day to do whatever he wants. No responsibilities, nowhere he has to be, nothing he has to do. He could just sit on the curb for hours. Nobody wants anything from him. By comparison to him, I felt time poverty. So just taking ten minutes to sit there and watch my daughter yesterday made me feel like a time millionaire.
I hope my videos are always useful for you to expand your own mind. I'm really excited trying this format to give you a better idea of what I'm talking about in here. If you enjoyed this day in my autobiography, there are many more like it in my Life playlist, and I hope you'll come back for more of them.