Yoga Crush and My Marriage: Why I Walked Away From Her

I think my yoga crush was never really about the woman. In late 2022 and early 2023, while married and almost nine years sober, I got stuck in a high-and-crash obsession with someone I had barely spoken to. Looking back, I read it as a warning light about my marriage and my own patterns, not a love story I should have chased. If you are asking whether a crush like this means something, my honest answer is that it usually means something about you, and it is worth looking at before you act on it.

The short version: I met her at yoga in late 2022, and by January 2023 we were talking in every class. After class I would float for hours. When she was missing I would fall apart, once sobbing on my mat. My sponsor told me I was very close to cheating and that my sobriety was at risk, and he said, "You should stop seeing her." On February 19, 2023, I told her I could not keep coming to the Sunday class because I needed to spend more time with my family. That was not what I meant. What I really meant was that this was getting dangerous for me and I was scared of her.

The posts below show how my view changed, in the order these things happened. In January 2023 I was calling it a New Year's resolution to trust my intuition, and asking whether it was intuition or "little Jerry" steering. By January 20 I wrote that I felt powerless and was asking whether it was lust or a lesson. By late March I had landed on something harder: "The entire situation is completely of my own creation." The 2026 memoir excerpt is the most complete account of the whole stretch.

The story I told myself in early 2023 was that she was "just an avatar, a sign from the universe," and that if I were single I could attract another girl like her. I now see the pattern more plainly. The excitement lived in her, the crash lived in me, and my marriage got colder the more I fixated elsewhere. The 2026 excerpt also makes clear that my marriage was already under strain, and that I was tempted to treat the crush as a fix for it. It was not. See The Yoga Crush That Shook My Marriage for the fullest version.

The part I regret most is not the distance, it is the dishonesty. Writing about the day I walked away from her class, I said I felt I had been dishonest, "instead of expressing my fear and saying, hey, I really like you, and I'm scared." I still think my sponsor was right to warn me. But the honest version of that message would have named what I was feeling. You can read the full account in The Day I Told My Yoga Crush I Couldn't Come Back.

The same months put strain on my marriage. In My Yoga Crush, My Marriage, and Feeling Powerless I wrote about starting to resent my wife for being in the way, and about how I had always treated heavy drinking as a deal breaker. The 2026 excerpt describes the confrontation that followed: I told my wife that something had to change or we were headed for divorce, and then we spent about a week on edge. She did try, and some nights the spark came back. I was still exhausted, and the crush had shown me what I felt was missing.

Below this opening you will find all six entries in full, newest first: the 2026 memoir excerpt, then the five video entries covering January to March 2023. Read them in order if you want the full arc, or jump to the one that matches where you are.

If the pull you feel in your own life looks like this one, I wrote about the same trap from another side in dating sober, where the question is how to stay in your body instead of chasing the next high, and in getting over a breakup, start to finish.

If you are caught in a similar loop and want a personal review from me, you can ask for one at https://jerrybanfield.com/review/.

The Yoga Crush That Shook My Marriage (June 21, 2026)
Crying at Yoga Over a Crush I Created Myself (November 2, 2024)
I Did My First Headstand, Then Fell Over in Front of My Yoga Crush (November 2, 2024)
My Yoga Crush and a New Year's Resolution to Trust My Intuition (November 2, 2024)
My Yoga Crush, My Marriage, and Feeling Powerless (November 2, 2024)
Yoga Crush and My Marriage: Why I Walked Away From Her (November 2, 2024)

The Yoga Crush That Shook My Marriage

Originally published June 21, 2026.

This is an excerpt from my full-life memoir, Un Fn Myself — my real story of addiction, recovery, fatherhood, and everything in between from 1984 to 2026, including the parts most people would cut out.

Toward the end of 2022, I also started a brand-new crypto channel, one that would end up taking off over the next couple of years. At the same time, something else unexpected started happening in my life. There was a girl I kept seeing at yoga. She came with her girlfriend. This girl was absolutely beautiful. She reminded me a lot of my ex-wife from ten years earlier. She had gorgeous hair. In a yoga studio already full of attractive people, she stood out immediately. Her and her girlfriend were very openly affectionate, lying next to each other, touching, kissing, doing a lot of PDA right there on their mats. I kept noticing her. Week after week, I kept seeing her at the same classes, a morning power flow class and a weekend flow class. She was not at every class, but often enough that we were clearly on similar schedules.

A few times, I put my mat right next to hers. I did not say anything. She avoided making eye contact with me. Other times, she put her mat next to mine. Still nothing was said. There was this strange, quiet proximity between us. Then one morning, during the power flow class, we ended up next to each other again. The instructor asked if anyone had any requests for poses. Without thinking, I blurted out, “Plank” to be funny. The girl immediately laughed. A few other people laughed too, but she laughed instantly and the loudest. In that moment, something clicked in my head. I thought, oh shit, she feels me. What is happening here?

As 2023 approached, I started thinking about her constantly. I did not even know her name. We had not exchanged a single word. We had barely made eye contact. And yet I was becoming obsessed. She was so beautiful, and more than that, I loved how I felt when I was around her. When I was near her, I felt like I was radiating love, admiration, and warmth. I was pouring all of this energy toward her internally without ever acting on it. There was something quietly building between us, something unspoken, something entirely energetic, and it was impossible for me to ignore.

To begin maybe our eighth or nineth class together, I walked into one of the flow classes and put my mat down right next to her. I had decided that day that if she was there, I was going to talk to her. I at least needed to know her name. This time I placed my mat to her right, with her on my left. I sat there, breathing, trying to work up the courage to say something. The moment I finally decided, right now, I am going to speak, I turned my head to the left. At the exact same moment, she turned her head to the right and started talking to me first. It felt unreal. After weeks of circling each other in silence, we both chose the same instant to break it. The intensity of that connection hit me like a drug. I felt euphoric, high, stunned. She told me her name. We started talking. From that moment on, I was completely obsessed with her and we started talking every class together.

After class, I would float for hours. Everything felt perfect. Life made sense. The future felt bright and inevitable. And then the crash would come. The high would drop out, and I would spiral. What the fuck is going on? You’re married. She has a girlfriend. Where do you think this is going? This is how people cheat. What is wrong with you? My mind ran in circles, tearing itself apart. And yet, no matter what, I made damn sure I was at both of those classes every week. She showed up to at least half of those. Some weeks we saw each other twice. Other weeks she traveled and I did not see her at all, and I missed her horribly. Every time we talked, the chemistry intensified. If you’ve ever been caught in that kind of high-and-crash obsession and want to talk through what it’s really pointing to in your life, that’s the sort of honest conversation we can have when you book a private call with me.

I started getting to class earlier. I wanted her to put her mat next to mine instead of me always being the one moving toward her. One day, I arrived early and laid my mat down in my usual spot, front right, second row, close to the instructor. She came in, dropped her mat dramatically right next to mine, looked straight at me, and said, “I guess we’re going to make a thing of this.” I almost passed out. Inside my head, I was screaming yes, please, let’s make a thing of this. We talked before class, and I was starving to know everything about her life. At the same time, I was terrified. If this girl wanted to cross a line, I didn’t trust myself to stop it. The pull was that strong.

I was driving around listening to that song about hotel room service, the one about telling a girl to leave her boyfriend behind and meet up at the hotel. In my head, the boyfriend in the song became her girlfriend. I felt high every time I saw her, and the anticipation between classes was intoxicating. One weekend morning, I put my mat down next to hers, and she asked how I was doing. I looked at her and said, honestly, “I was wondering all morning if you’d be here.” She lit up instantly. My direct admission landed. She was turned on by it. Sometimes her girlfriend was there too. I always arrived early, so the space next to me stayed open. She could not put her mat next to her girlfriend, so she put it next to me instead, talking with me and flirting with me while her girlfriend was a few rows back. I was completely over the top about her.

Because I am committed to honesty and transparency, I started talking about her at AA a few weeks after talking to her. At first, I downplayed it. Then it became obvious how much space she was taking up in my head. I talked to my sponsor. I shared in open meetings. I said I had a crush on a girl at yoga, but it was fine. I was faithful. Nothing was happening. We were just friends. Even as I said that, another voice in my head kept repeating that I needed her phone number, that I needed to see her outside of yoga. One day she decided to stay for a five-hour workshop after class. I had plans with my family, and I almost canceled everything just to stay there with her. Looking back, that moment matters. We’ll come back to that.

Eventually, I started walking her out from class every time and I stopped seeing her girlfriend. After one intense power flow class, she looked right at me and asked, “So what’s exciting in your life?” Normally, I am someone who can answer a question like that without hesitation. I am usually very clear about what I am feeling because I’m honest. Coming from her, that question completely wrecked me. My honest answer was her. There was nothing else in my life that felt exciting compared to her. I did not care about my work, my family, or anything else in that moment the way I cared about her. I loved my ex-wife. I loved my kids. I loved making money. My ego was wrapped up in my work. But excitement was her. She was the only thing lighting me up.

I panicked. I stumbled over my words and tried to give a safe answer. I was afraid if I told her the truth about how into her I was, there would be no turning back. I said something about being excited that my ex-wife had finally come to yoga with me. It had taken me nearly a year to get my ex-wife to do a class with me at my yoga studio, even though she had gone there first and said she liked it. She almost never wanted to do classes with me, which I had been quietly resentful about for a long time. She finally went, and it felt oddly timed, almost like she sensed another woman creeping into my orbit. So I told the girl at yoga that I was excited my ex-wife had come to class with me. She smiled and said, “Oh, I’d love to meet your wife.” Inside my head, my thoughts went completely off the rails. I was imagining some improbable fantasy where everyone just merged into one big, perfect situation. You and my ex-wife should hang out. Let’s all just be together. Move in. Bring your girlfriend too. Let’s make this work somehow. The tension just kept building.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point. I started to not care about the consequences anymore. I felt like I had to get her phone number and see her outside the yoga studio. That same night, after seeing her at yoga earlier in the day, I shared something close to that in my AA meeting. After the meeting, my sponsor pulled me aside. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “Jerry, what you’re doing with this girl is dangerous. You are very close to cheating. This is going to wreck your marriage. There’s a real chance your sobriety is at risk too.” I asked him what he thought I should do. He said, “You should stop seeing her.”

I immediately pushed back. I told him that was ridiculous. We were just friends. Nothing was happening. I did not even know her last name. I did not have her phone number. He warned me again and said that if he were me, he would stop going to those yoga classes altogether. I went home and sat with that for a week. I hated it. I argued with it internally. But the truth kept surfacing. If I actually cared about my marriage, I could not keep doing this. He was right. If you’re sitting with a hard call about your own relationship and want to talk it through with someone who’s been there, you can set up a call with me and raise it on our call.

The next week, I saw her again. She was genuinely happy to see me. I looked at her and said, “I can’t keep coming to this yoga class. I need to spend more time with my family.” That was what I said out loud. She immediately understood what I really meant underneath it. Her face changed instantly. I saw the hurt flash across it before she tried to cover it up and push through. I had hurt her. I walked away feeling awful. I felt like shit. I kept thinking, what the fuck did I just do. This feels horrible. I took my sponsor’s suggestion. I did what I believed was the right thing. And yet everything about it hurt. I told her I would not be coming to the weekend class anymore. I did not mention that I was still going to the other class we shared. That one was my favorite. I liked the people. I liked the energy. I kept going. She stopped coming to it.

As the weeks passed without seeing her, the suffering intensified. There were weeks when she was not at class and I was absolutely wrecked. I would lie there on my mat, crushed, hoping she would walk in at the last second. When she did not, I would break down. One day, I was literally sobbing during class because she was not there. I could not believe how much pain I was in over someone I had never even dated. It felt almost out of body, like something was happening to me rather than being chosen by me. I was moving through the poses while internally falling apart. Then, in the middle of that misery, it felt like music washed over me, like the melody from Deadmau5’s Avaritia drifting in from the back of the room. I was hit with a massive wave of emotion, love, and tears. I had not cried like that in a long time. I kept thinking, what the fuck is going on? I’m married. This is a woman I talked to at yoga. Why does this feel this intense?

I kept going to class, and for six weeks I did not see her at all. Then one random morning, at a class I almost never went to, I walked in and stopped dead in my tracks. She was there. I thought, fuck me. I put my mat next to hers and said hi, tentatively. She was genuinely happy to see me. I was thrilled to see her. We talked after class and stood outside together. She told me how much she loved the weekend class and said she wished I would come back. I tried to convince her to come to my favorite class instead. Then I left, knowing I could not go back to that class. I had told my ex-wife. I had told my sponsor. I had drawn that line. She said maybe she would see me at my class the next day. She did not show up. I was devastated all over again. I kept thinking, what the fuck did I do to myself? This felt so good. It felt validating, intoxicating, alive. And now the suffering was overwhelming. I felt miserable most of the time, and that misery started poisoning everything else.

It spilled straight into my marriage. One night, I went after my ex-wife hard. I was angry and resentful. Her entire identity had collapsed into work, motherhood, and being a provider, and I could see my role in creating this situation, but I also felt deeply unattracted to the person she had become. Our intimacy had degraded into something mechanical and resentful. There was no playfulness, no desire, no spark. I snapped and unloaded everything I had been holding in. I told her something had to change or we were headed for divorce.

That confrontation left us on edge for about a week. Seeing that girl at yoga had shown me exactly what I felt was missing. My ex-wife used to have that same energy. She used to be playful, sexy, engaged, turned on by me. She was not anymore, and I missed it badly. I did not want the version of my ex-wife who only cared about work and logistics and parenting. I wanted the woman I fell in love with. My ex-wife did try. She made more of an effort. Some nights she was playful, and sparks came back. We had moments of real passion again, and I let myself feel hopeful. But I was also exhausted. I was nearing the end of my rope, questioning whether this was still what I wanted, questioning whether enough could really change to bring the fire back for good.

If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Dating playlist.

Crying at Yoga Over a Crush I Created Myself

From my video published November 2, 2024.

On March 24, 2023, I was at Power Flow for my morning yoga class, and the Yoga Crush girl wasn't there. The pain was brutal, and I was crying again. It just hurt that this whole situation had gotten to where it was. I wanted her to be there so bad, and nobody else even mattered to me there. I felt like I'd just been ripped open, and I did all this to myself, which somehow makes it even better. The entire situation is completely of my own creation. I was the one who latched on and started this, so to speak, and I'm the one who has fueled it the entire way. And there was no relief today.

A shell of myself

I shared at my AA meeting, but I was a shell of myself, and my wife wonders what's going on. She sees that I'm very often emotional, and I just tell her I'm feeling a bit sad. I will talk about this with her at some point, but she has definitely asked me before not to talk about these crushes with her. So even though we are so transparent, and she can read exactly how I'm feeling, she asked me not to bring this up again. So I'm not. I'm not going to talk about it with her.

The resentment, and the open relationship I wish we had

In fact, I resent her for even being here, and I resent her closed mind — that I couldn't have an open relationship, which she's not okay with. I would be okay with it, but she's not, so I resent her for not being open to a relationship where I could have pursued things with this girl and not had to leave her. It's so stupid. Why couldn't she just have more of an open mind?

In fact, why is reality even set up like this? Who came up with all this and thought it would be a great idea? You marry somebody you're really in love with, and then there are all these other people out there all the time, especially at yoga classes, who you can't be with without destroying your whole family. This is absolutely stupid.

I've watched videos in the past of people who have a relationship where there's one guy with two wives or a couple of girlfriends, and I always think, though, really — is that going to work out in the long term? I've had a friend tell me about his experience, where he and his wife had let their relationship get bad. My relationship with my wife isn't bad by any means. We're still taking some quality time for each other every other day, and we have a very smooth and happy relationship most of the time. Just occasionally I have these breakdowns where I just can't stand her anymore, and I desperately wish there were some other option, and I feel totally trapped in the relationship.

What my breakdowns actually look like

Now, my breakdown just involves me usually giving her the silent treatment, or giving her some critical comments in an even tone of voice — not that severe compared to what my parents used to go through. But I am shocked at how long this continues to go on, and I am hoping the suffering will stop at some point. I don't know how much more of this suffering I can keep taking if it goes on and on like this.

What I've decided

I really hope I see her again. I've decided, absolutely for sure, that if I see the Yoga Crush girl again, I will immediately ask for her phone number. I want to get to know her. I want to go out to lunch with her. I want as much time as she'll give me. And I don't care about the consequences anymore.

This is one of those mornings I keep coming back to. I talk through these crushes, my marriage, and the loneliness underneath all of it in my Dating playlist, and I went even deeper into this same yoga crush and what it stirred up in my yoga crush, my marriage, and feeling powerless.

I Did My First Headstand, Then Fell Over in Front of My Yoga Crush

From my video published November 2, 2024.

On March 23, 2023, I went to a yoga class wrestling with something I'd built entirely myself. I hadn't seen the yoga crush girl in weeks. It had been over a month, and I'd missed her so much. Every class, even ones I'd never seen her at before, I'm looking around hoping she'll be there. Every class, I'm devastated when she doesn't walk in. Every class, I feel like an idiot for having made this happen. The entire thing, I did this. I'm the creator of my reality. I created all this suffering. I must like to suffer.

She was sitting in my spot

Today, I'm going to a Thursday yoga class I don't usually go to. But guess who's there? I've been looking at everybody's shoes when I come in to see if hers are there. And today, I see her shoes, and I look over, and she's sitting in the spot where I always put my mat. I freeze. I want to walk out right now. But I've been desperate to see her again. I've got to talk to her again.

I go up and put my mat on the left side of her, where I was when she first laughed in the Power Flow class a few months back. This is a class that we've never seen each other at before. And she seems very happy to see me, although a bit guarded. And I'm very happy to see her. We start talking, and then the class begins.

My first headstand, and falling over

I get up in a full headstand for the first time. And then I fall over on my back, right in front of the instructor. Clearly, my body is feeling the same way my mind is. A bit off balance.

As soon as class is over, we latch onto talking to each other again and talk the entire way out. I'm trying to get her to come to the Friday Power Flow class tomorrow. And I'm just barely restraining myself from asking for her phone number and telling her that I'm going to be there. I tell her we should meet up again. But it's been so long since we've seen each other. It feels like it'd be way too much to just do that right now.

She wants me back at the Sunday Flow

She said she wants me to come back to the Sunday Flow. She really loves that class, and she'll be there. She has a meeting tomorrow, so she doesn't know if she can make the Friday one, but she will come if she can make it. And she talks about how relaxing and great that Sunday Flow class is. I can tell she wants me to come back. I can tell she wants me to come back to that class. And if I come back to that class, that might be kind of making up for not going to it. And maybe there's, we can see what happens from there.

I say goodbye to her and hope to see her tomorrow in front of the yoga studio. Although as I drive off, I'm afraid that I won't see her again. And then if she doesn't show up tomorrow, who knows when I'll see her again. At the same time, I'm so filled with hope that I am very confused.

Confused, and growing unhappy at home

Because after having this space from her, I'd also felt like things were safe with my marriage. But now all these things have been dredging up. And I'm getting more and more unhappy with my wife every day. Because this girl at this point is just an avatar, a sign from the universe. I'm certain that if I was single, I could attract another girl like this. And now my unhappiness in my marriage is growing and growing.

Which is so crazy, because I thought that by pushing this girl away, I was doing the right thing, and then I would just settle in more in my marriage. But now I'm just obsessed with the idea of being with a younger woman, and having more kids, and being with somebody different. And my wife is so nice. She's so lovely. She has such a wonderful personality. She has such a beautiful body. Her family is so nice and supportive. I'm telling you, I'm losing it.

I keep working through this whole confusing chapter out loud in my Dating playlist, and if you want more of where my head was at during this stretch, I wrote about my yoga crush, my marriage, and feeling powerless.

My Yoga Crush and a New Year's Resolution to Trust My Intuition

From my video published November 2, 2024.

On January 1, 2023, I started the new year at the Sunday yoga flow again, and there was no sign of my yoga crush girl. She wasn't at the Friday power flow either, and maybe she's traveling or something for the new year. I feel like I'm going through withdrawal, and the class really sucks without her in it — and yet I have to go. Or do I? I could just change out my yoga schedule any time, and this would probably instantly be over with.

My resolution: live more on intuition

I'm thinking about my resolutions for the new year. I really want to live my life more on intuition, because there's some intuitive part of me that has feelings, that knows, that's all-powerful, that is able to make some incredible decisions and just let magic happen. I want to let my life be lived more from that point of view than from this rigid mental thinking that I'm going to do this, that I'm going to publish four videos a day, that I'm going to play God's Unchained, or that I have to make a crypto video every day. I want to get more into having fun and enjoying my life and let my intuition guide me here.

Is this intuition, or little Jerry?

Now, the question with this yoga crush girl is: is this my intuition guiding me, or is this little Jerry guiding me? I'm not sure which. Maybe it's a little bit of both. I definitely am doing some valuable learning out of here. As much as it feels great to be with her and to be in class together, it sucks that much worse, and for so much more time, when she's not. I think it's so ridiculous how much I'm thinking about her based on how little time we've actually spent together.

Using the crush to appreciate my wife

I'm trying to appreciate all the things I love about my wife, because clearly this girl and my wife are much more similar than different — on the outside, and probably on the inside too. There are definitely some differences. But from most people's point of view, I think they would look and have a lot in common. I'm trying to let this experience with this girl be a chance to appreciate all the things about her that I like that are the same as my wife. Maybe I've gotten used to some of those things with my wife, but then when I see them on the yoga crush girl, all of a sudden I'm noticing things that I didn't, or that I forgot about, with my wife. So I'm trying to put a positive spin on this.

Sharing it with my sponsor and at meetings

I'm starting to leave voicemails with my sponsor about whether this girl is there or not at yoga. I've even started to share about this a little bit at AA meetings, although I'm sharing pretty confident and cocky at this point — more or less about how great I am that these things happen. And right now, I do feel pretty safe, though, as long as I don't see her at yoga classes. Really, nothing can happen. I don't have her phone number. I don't have her last name. I don't have anything on social media. It's pretty clean. Right? Nothing, nothing wrong with this. If you want to follow more of how I think through dating, attraction, and relationships, you can watch my Dating playlist.

My Yoga Crush, My Marriage, and Feeling Powerless

From my video published November 2, 2024.

On January 20, 2023, finally, after almost two weeks, the yoga crush girl is back today, and we are talking as much as we can again. Yoga next to her is just as incredible as it always is. I make sure to comment that I notice she has her nails done differently, so she knows I'm paying close attention to every detail of her, and she lets me know she appreciates it. And we discuss the basic things in our lives in further detail about jobs and how things are going with relationships, and I tell her I'm trying to get my wife to come to a yoga class, and she says she would love to meet her again, which I think is really funny because this girl is dating another girl, and I'm wondering in what context she wants to meet my wife. Is she trying to say she's supportive, or what's going on with that?

Lingering after class

Now I am definitely lingering after class while she lets me know also that, hey, she'll go to the bathroom and then be right back in a minute after class. So she lets me know to wait for her. So I sit out in the lobby and make sure to talk to her more. Now we're going out together and talking in the parking lot after class as well. I ask about her tattoo, and she says it was something she got back when she used to drink a bit more. And I start to think, wow.

One of my deal breakers, in my mind, is ever being with somebody who was an alcoholic or who was big into drinking, even just somebody who had a glass of wine every night or was very into drinking.

Feeling powerless

As I say goodbye to this girl, while I love so much about her, I think how little I really know about her, and if she's a big drinker, then I wouldn't even want to have her as a friend more than likely, or do anything more than carry the message of AA. And I feel kind of powerless right now, like this could be a person I'm totally incompatible with, all other things like my marriage and kids aside, and yet I'm still pouring my energy into this. It feels really wasteful in a lot of ways, and I'm starting to feel as out of control as I felt in a long time.

I share about it some in the AA meeting later, that I'm having a lot of fun with this, but I'm also getting a bit scared, and I'm going through a couple of things, and I'm starting to feel like I'm in a combination of appreciating my wife better and starting to resent her, like she's in the way of letting this thing fully happen with this girl at yoga.

Is this lust, or a lesson?

I wonder if this girl wants me to get her phone number or not, because in the past, I used to just ask for phone numbers all over because I could. It felt like, hey, I can just ask for numbers all the time. I'd get moms' phone numbers at the park for a play date with the kids or whatever, and I felt like it was totally harmless. But now, with this girl, it feels like it'd be a bit dangerous to get her phone number, because I want it so bad.

And she mentioned that she was thinking about taking a trip to Japan at one point for an extended period of time, and I had the most horrible feeling inside, like I couldn't stand to go a year without seeing her, and that would be horrible. How ridiculous. I barely know this girl. I don't understand this. Is this lust? Is this just something of the past? Is this a body? Is this a lesson I'm trying to learn? It definitely is really opening me up and encouraging a lot of growth. And at this point, I feel like I'm on a ride that is kind of taking a course of its own, and yet I have the ability to get off anytime I want to.

This wasn't the end of where things went with her either — I shared more of it in the yoga girl date story. If this kind of honest, in-the-moment reflection on attraction and dating is what you're here for, you can watch more of it in my Dating playlist.