On January 22, 2023, I went to the Sunday yoga float, even though I knew the yoga crush girl was not going to be there because she's traveling to visit her girlfriend where her girlfriend lives this weekend. And I caught myself thinking, why did I even bother coming to this class today? I could have spent this time with my family or getting ahead on my videos. I felt how sad I am without her in this class, and how ridiculous my whole life is.
Why I'm more excited than I've been in a long time
But I am really excited right now. The crypto videos on my new crypto channel are starting to pump, and I've come up with this system where I just buy $50 a day in crypto, and I was inspired to show people my path to becoming a crypto millionaire. I'm feeling the most inspired I've felt in my work in a long time.
And this girl I've got a crush on at yoga seems to be a part of that, of just stimulating my entire life energy. It's just shocking how much she's become a part of my thinking and my being, despite the fact that, at this point, we've maybe spent 10 or 20 hours in the same yoga classes and we've probably talked an hour or less. Maybe a little more than that, maybe two hours if you combine all the conversations we've had. It's just barely been a month since I even talked to her for the first time.
Everyone is starting to hear about her
But I think about her every day, and everybody is starting to hear about this girl too, including my mother, my sponsor, and my home group at Alcoholics Anonymous. She's starting to be half of what I can talk about, and the other half is the regular stuff like crypto and my family. I'm starting to feel like I'm really losing control here. But at the same time, I feel like I'm so in control, like this is what I want. This is exciting. This is what life should feel like, of a desire to be alive and that things are uncertain. So I really do love the excitement.
Should I just stop going to class?
But I'm going to have to figure out how to get this to move soon, because it's just in this area right now where I'm putting all this energy into it. But for what? How much longer is this going to go on before it comes to either some kind of an advancement, where we become more friendly, or the only other way, which is to just stop coming to class? I'm starting to think consistently that I should just stop coming to these Friday and Sunday yoga classes and this will all be over with. But that feeling absolutely horrifies me, that I would do that. Some people have already said that I should put a stop to this, but absolutely not.
I keep documenting these ordinary, uncertain days like this one over in my Life playlist. And if you're wondering how this whole yoga crush actually played out, you can read the yoga girl date story.