On July 9, 2023, I made a song called Tuesday Yoga Crush, which chronicles the journey I've had with the girl I had a crush on in yoga. I haven't seen her since March, and it's been absolutely brutal. I've thought of her almost every single day.
A crush I haven't been able to shake
Every single yoga class, I'm always hoping she'll walk in. I'm looking at people's shoes, and I never see hers when I get there. Every single time, I'm even looking when I'm at a nine o'clock class, trying to look out the door to see if she's there going to the 9:30. If I'm at the noon class, I'm looking for her at the hot one. I have lost it so much over this that I've started making music again, because this song was just dying to come out of me. It's a powerful emotional experience that I want to share with other people who may have had something similar. If you want the fuller backstory of how all this started, I told it in The Yoga Girl Date Story.
Recording the whole song live in four hours
I put the song out as a trap song everywhere, and the video on Facebook is doing quite well. I took four hours on a live stream and just recorded making the entire song from start to finish in real time, with some memorable classic lines, such as "yoga getting off on Tuesday, got your girl in the front, she'd you say." These were lines I came up with a few days before, and I was laughing as hard as I ever laugh.
I was thinking of that song "Tuesday," the one that goes "got the club going up on a Tuesday." I had heard it for the first time, and then quite a bit afterward, in yoga. I had that song stuck in my head and I kept thinking I should remake it into Tuesday Yoga Crush, even though it's really more of a Friday and a Sunday yoga crush. For the Tuesday version, I just had to rip off the exact same hook and modify it slightly to make it my own.
Music brought my creativity back
I am really grateful that this has motivated me to make music again, because I felt really lost creatively after I got demonetized in February 2022 on Facebook Gaming. I've tried to do video games a whole bunch since then, but today I made music. And it has felt so good. It feels like now this whole story I've got has some kind of a purpose, some kind of a meaning.
People are really vibing with this song. One of the live streamers on Facebook, one of the top Facebook streamers, played my Tuesday Yoga Crush song for thousands of his live viewers. This feels like all my suffering hasn't been for nothing.
More compassion, and how close I came to a different life
I've also been having a bit more compassion for people who have complicated lives. From the outside, my life might look perfect to a lot of people, unless you actually follow these diaries. You look at me, and I've been married for 10 years, I have such a happy, well-functioning relationship with my wife, my kids are healthy, and I do work I love. My crypto channel has been blowing up. You might look at my life and be jealous. But then, it's been easy for me to judge other people who have not had such smooth experiences, and going through this has shown me how close my own life has been to totally taking a different direction.
I'm glad now that I'm not separated at this point, because maybe if I hadn't done what I'd done a few months ago, maybe I would be.
Music or video games — the conflict
This Tuesday Yoga Crush song has got me wanting to make music, and I'm realizing that if I want to make music, there's really not space in my life to play video games and make music both. They seem to take up the same space in my life. If I'm playing video games, I don't have time to make music; if I'm making music, I don't have the interest or the time to play video games. So this conflict is starting to get pretty intense. As much fun as I had making music today, I never have this much fun playing video games anymore, and the response from the audience has been absolutely fantastic. This whole experience sits right alongside the rest of my crushes and dating stories in my Dating playlist.
The conversation I still have to have with my wife
I'm so glad I made this song, and yet I've wanted to make it for quite a while, because I felt so disgustingly vulnerable doing it. I still haven't talked to my wife about this Tuesday Yoga Crush girl or the song. Now that the song is out, I'm realizing I have got to have a conversation with my wife about this entire thing. Because what if somebody else tells her about this song before she hears the whole story from me?