This is my journal entry from March 18, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
I woke up with some great snuggles from the kids today and my son drove his RC car around. He ran into the monster truck car I'd made before when him and my daughter were driving it. First, it smashed off the right wheel of the old car and then it smashed the other wheel off eventually. My daughter was sad and my son was awkward about it. I, meanwhile, dictated an entire book this morning, called St. Pete Academy of Real Magic. My first fiction book. I got the entire thing dictated before my massage. Then I went and had a nice massage and discussion with my massage therapist. Then came back and published the rest of the book on Kindle during the time when, after my ex-wife dropped the kids off, then the kids came over and went to their friend's house until 9.30. Thus, I had a ton of time, and I feel really good publishing St. Pete Academy of Real Magic and also getting my paperback done for Divorce Day. I got the Divorce Day paperback proof in the mail, and it looks amazing. I looked through it. It's a big, thick book. I also got a bunch of other proofs in the mail, and I now have more than a foot of my bookshelf that is all different books I've written over the years. And that's just a good start.
My mother came over at around 830 and I took a walk with her around Crescent Lake. I love her and I'm showing up for her. And at the same time, it's kind of hard. And I really think it's easier when I have home field advantage at my house and getting her out and walking. And I'm glad that's working for us.
I've been thinking about the Xbox or the PlayStation all day again. I asked my massage therapist about it and she says, go for it. You need something you can do just for you. And my ex-wife and the kids heard more about it again. The kids have pretty strong mixed feelings about it with, well, if I get a game system for myself, then are they going to get to play it too? And if not, then that's not fair. So I'm hashing all this. I'm thinking all of it. I'm wondering when I'd have time for it. At the same time, I keep thinking the games would be so fun. I talk with my mother a bit too. And then the kids come over. We don't have time to play anything at this point, though, because they were at their friend's house for so long. Now it's just them. And there's no time for games or anything.
Earlier in the day, I also slipped back into some old habits I haven't touched in several months, and I'm wondering, is all this unraveling, like the games and the rest of it? Are we just going to do all this again? Is this OK? Am I being too rigid and thinking I shouldn't do this? It's funny, because at one point I suddenly got the feeling the kids might be heading my way and I panicked and like picked everything up quickly. But it turns out, talking to my ex-wife later, that their grandmother had just taken them somewhere halfway on the way to my house. So all that, it was funny to have that feeling of danger that was so there as a teenager all the time. To have that as an adult in my own house by myself was kind of funny.
Now I'm wondering as I go to sleep tonight, is this my life unraveling or is this me becoming a little reasonable? I've been wondering, am I being super righteous with, I don't play video games, I don't watch porn, I don't eat junk food, I don't watch TV, I don't watch movies. Am I getting to be just this crazy righteous person that is one of those like stuck up, stupid, boring and glum people that we look at in Alcoholics Anonymous? Or am I a person with a very high functioning life? It's kind of hard to tell sometimes.
I really do need to get something to make money, though. It's funny. At four in the morning, as I talk about my book, St. Pete Academy of Real Magic, I picture having eight people pay me $50,000 each to teach them some of this like esoteric secret occult stuff. And it's funny to think I can make $400,000 this year from potentially writing that book. At the same time, again, it's hard to tell, is this genius and brilliance or delusion? I'm not sure. It's definitely out of the box thinking, though, I'll tell you that.
I did take the time to put some more books, including the book I just wrote today, in the little library at Crescent Lake along with one of my other ones. I need a new book letter and I'm still thinking about doing door drops. I just need some way to get my books out to everybody and to get more customers and to get some actual money coming in.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.