I just got back from VidSummit yesterday, and today I feel like I've had an emotional hangover. I've just been at home feeling destroyed. Ironically, going to something like VidSummit seems in so many ways to be positive, to be about learning, and this lanyard cost a thousand dollars just to get into the conference. I spent a whole bunch of time at VidSummit, I took an entire trip to Dallas, and yet I come home feeling wrecked. I feel like I suck as a YouTuber. I just listened to all these people with huge amounts of views and money talk about how great they are. Yes, I learned some valuable stuff, but I also come home feeling like, what's the point?
I've gotten a million views on YouTube across all six of my channels since I started back on YouTube in March 2026, and it's October now. What's weird is that with a lot of these conferences, it seems like you come back with this feeling of not being good enough. Now, that might be a part of learning and growth, and I have found a workflow that I think is ideal for me: live stream, record videos out of the live stream, and then cut vertical shorts from that with AI.
Validation and Still Feeling Like It's Not Enough
I did get some affirmations out of the live stream. I had people tell me I rule, and I did get some inspiration. At VidSummit I had lots of validation, people happy to see me who had seen my videos online. At the same time, though, I come back and I feel like it's not enough. Everything I have feels like it sucks. I feel like I should be the one on stage talking about all this stuff, and that I'm a failure because I'm sitting in the audience. I feel like I should pay for coaching, that I should get in the JumpStart program, but I'm not doing it because of survivorship bias. There are so many people you never hear about who paid for coaching and got nowhere.
A viewer asked whether I think resting my brain and recharging my nervous system is a waste of time. No, I don't. I took a good amount of time in the last day, on the way back from the conference in Dallas, to just think and just be in my head. A lot of it was unpleasant. A lot of it was feeling this urgency, like I need to start making ten grand a month or I'm finished. Finished as in, who knows who I'm going to have to live with, where I'm going to live, or whether I can keep doing YouTube. I might even end up homeless. I went to VidSummit for inspiration, and a lot of what I found there was that I was just lonely.
I Wouldn't Go to Another Conference Alone
I wouldn't go to another conference by myself again. I would go where I have somebody I'm going with, like somebody I'm dating, or a friend, or a few friends. The last conference I went to was Steem Fest in 2017, and I had a friend who met me there. We got a hotel room together, we had lunch and dinner, we watched comedy and we were laughing, and he had two of his friends who were there too. There were four of us, and we all had an awesome time. The downside is that we missed more than half of the conference because we were having so much fun going out to eat and exploring Portugal. Still, I wouldn't go to a conference by myself again.
At the same time, I would say VidSummit was valuable to be around my people. The parties were awesome. Being around a bunch of other people who are in the same world I am was awesome. A viewer in the comments said, "You'll only grow if you keep going." Yes, absolutely. And yet I don't feel like continuing to go today. Ironically, after seeing what should be inspiring to so many people, I feel the opposite of inspired.
Feeling Dumb Reading The YouTube Formula 2.0
I was reading Derral Eves' book, The YouTube Formula 2.0, and I just feel dumb reading it. He's talking about how you should know your audience, and if you're not getting views, it's you. It's you that's not getting views, and you need to change. And I just feel dumb, because I've been on YouTube since 2011. I've tried so many things. I've had videos with millions of views, but not lately. I've tried so hard on some videos and worked to get to know my audience, and it seems like the harder I try to nail a perfect video, the more it ends up being a total waste of time for me. I try so hard, and then I might as well have done nothing. I once spent a week filming what I thought would be the perfect crypto video, and it bombed. It utterly bombed. Then I do a video off the top of my head and it gets more views than the one I spent a week on. It's a struggle.
Each of Us Has Our Own Formula
I think one of the lessons from VidSummit is that each of us has our own way, our own kind of formula. For me, my formula seems to be real, raw, authentic content. The problem with doing real, raw, authentic content is that I can't make the perfect title and the perfect thumbnail and edit it to perfection. I had a thumbnail made with AI, and I feel like AI thumbnails don't match my brand. So I'm literally going into coloring my own thumbnails now, just to make the most real, raw, authentic videos I can. With the kind of content I do and the kind of audience I have, maybe I'm never going to go very viral, or maybe occasionally I'll have a video that goes off. For me, it will mostly just be grinding out videos. Even MrBeast seems to be falling off a bit, where his content is not peaking the way it did. It seems like YouTube is spreading out more.
So one of the things I'm taking home from VidSummit is that I just need to do what I do best. I shouldn't be trying to be like some of these other YouTubers. I don't need to come up with a perfect thumbnail or a perfect title. In fact, my thumbnail should be as real and authentic as possible, and I should not be using AI generated images in my thumbnails. I should just be showing up, being me, doing my work, and not even worrying about whether any individual video gets views. That means all I do is focus on putting in the work. I'm going to get everything set up on my website so I can sell everything in one place and not use third party platforms.
Content Creators Need Their Emotions
So yes, I'm feeling kind of an emotional hangover after VidSummit today. To me, being a content creator means you really need your emotions. I think a lot of content creators are pretty manic, because if you're not a bit manic as a content creator, you're not going to get those brilliant ideas, but you're also going to have to be able to deal with being down. My experience was that when I bought the tickets to VidSummit, I was really excited. I got there, and I was lonely and down. I had a couple of days where I felt pretty happy, and then another twenty-four hours or so of being pretty down. If you want more of my honest thoughts on making videos, you can find them in my Content Creators playlist.
I've also got an email list that I've just added to my Jerry Banfield YouTube channel, and I invite you to join us there.