This is my journal entry from February 28, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
I get a message from my date last night, first thing in the morning, that says, that's a terrible question right now, next two weekends are slammed, can you do brunches? I say, sure, I can do brunch most days. She says, all right, I'm available for brunch. I say, you know, how about somewhere Monday morning? She asks if I want to go to a restaurant, which is the same one my ex-wife and I used to go to. I said, you know, it sounds good to me. I'll let you know on Monday, like it's Saturday. So I'm like, oh, I'll let you know on Monday when I'm gonna leave. She says, sounds good to me. Thank you. I'm like, okay, well that's, you know, that's probably going to be it for now. I go to the ACA, the adult children of alcoholics meeting this morning at 9am because now my sponsor and some other guys in AA who have been sober longer than me suggested I give that a try to do some deeper work there. So I go down to the ACA meeting and I'm impressed. It's like all women in there. And there's one really attractive woman when I walk in the room and the energy is super calm and deep and quiet. It feels really good. Like a lot more settled than a lot of the AA meetings. Then another woman walks in like right after the meeting starts, and there's another woman who looks like she's married that's there too. I'm like, man, this is like the opposite of an AA meeting. There's a few women here, hardly any guys, no young guys, like nice. And as they start sharing, I'm like, this feels like a place where I can do a bit deeper work than AA and really dig into relationships, which is great.
I wait until at least halfway through the meeting. I share that, hey, this is my first ACA meeting, you know, sponsor and guys in AA suggested I give this a try, I'm really liking what I see so far, and I talk about how, you know, my struggles with my mom, like, my mom's, you know, I go over to her house, as I said a couple days ago, I'm all excited about this date, and, you know, my mom just crushes that enthusiasm right away, like, I don't want to hear about it, but then she does want to hear about it, by the time, you know, I've already had my feelings hurt, I'm gonna go. So I'm going to continue going to ACA meetings, although it conflicts with other stuff like tennis and yoga in the morning, but you got to choose what's most important, right? And after the ACA meeting, I stand around and talk to several other people here. I get to hold the hand of one of the women for the prayer at the end of the meeting. They do the serenity prayer different than we do in AA. So I'm kind of not following it. I get to hold her hand, which feels good. But she juts out the door right away. I'm like, damn, I was hoping to talk to her. But I end up talking to the other women that are there. And, you know, the one's married and she's got a kid the same age as my son. And I talk about the program and they encourage me to read this one book first. You know, to keep coming back. I enjoyed getting my silver chip and being new.
So I intend to do like an ACA meeting or two each week to complement my AA program. And I'm OK if that means I'll keep a minimum of like four AA meetings a week. So I can say I go to AA most days and that most days of the week I'll be at an AA meeting. But at this point, if I fill in an ACA meeting or two in the week and then I do like twice as many AA meetings, like that's going to guarantee I stay sober. I'm helping other people and I'm working at the greatest depth I'm capable of also. And that's when after the ACA meeting finishes, I head back home. I go to see my friend and pick up this free, he gave me another entertainment center, a second free entertainment center. I pick it up from his house and chat with him a little bit. He's the one I'm working on his book. And he agrees that ACA is a good idea and he has experience there.
I then go to pick the kids up, and today we're going to go to the conveyor belt sushi restaurant and to buy some clothes for the kids and to see if I can get some new casual shoes to go with my dress clothes. I pick the kids up at my ex-wife's house, and I give the basics of the date, like it went well, I may see her again, and the kids are so much more curious about the date. The kids are talking about if you marry her and stuff, and I'm like, oh, I love them, and it's nice for them to get to have these honest experiences. Like I never got to see my dad dating or, you know, my mom dating so far. And it's nice that the kids get to see this side of me too. I think it'll help them develop better. And I wish I could have seen my dad dating and I wish he'd have written a life story about it. The kids are in a great mood and we drop the entertainment center off at my house. Then we head out to the mall. We sit at the conveyor belt sushi restaurant. We go through 16 plates. The kids single handedly got at least five plates of Wagyu beef. And I got like six plates of sushi, you know, just little ones. We have a nice lunch there. The bill's a little over $100, like $105. I asked the kids how much to tip. My son says like 5% or 7%. My daughter says like it's $10. I'm like, why are y'all being so cheap right now? I'm tipping $25 right now. What are y'all talking about with a 10% tip? That's so shitty. I'm like, look, I'm going to tip $25 and the bill's going to be $127. I'm going to throw that on a credit card and pay for it later and get some rewards on it. So I'm going to tip nice today because that's how I roll.
We head out from the sushi place and there's for some reason like two teenage girls that were in this bathroom together for quite a while, like long enough for my daughter to go to the bathroom and then come in and out of there and then they just get out. And the one girl like gives me a smile and looks at me like they were up to no good in there. Like, the hell is that? But that's funny. So we go walk out into the mall and we stop at one of the stores. My son's playing with me like I'm running around this table with clothes on it so he can't hit me. We're having a great time. I'm proud to be a dad that like you'd be like, damn, is his dad like a teenager? I'm playing with my son like I'm a big kid or a teenager. I'm having fun. My son's running around. And it's great because then he's leaving my daughter alone as well. Now, my daughter gets a couple of shirts. My son gets several shirts after not initially either of them finding anything they liked. We check out and my son's going nuts in line. So my son and I get out of line and I'm playing with him off to the side to not disturb people so much. I give my daughter my credit card. I'm like, here, why don't you just pay for this? So my daughter enjoys being the big girl that gets to like pay for everything. Then we go to this like stand they have in the middle where this guy has all these battery operated little animals that you pay $20 and they can ride around on them for 20 minutes. So I give the guy 40 bucks. Each kid gets an animal to ride around on.
And I go over to a shoe store to get me some casual dress shoes. The kids are out of sight, but I'm like, whatever, they can run wild, it should be fine. The guy at the shoe store, the store manager's there, he's really helpful. I ask him, I'm like, look, I want dress shoes that are comfortable, but not too dressy, more casual. He says, I got just the thing for you. He's like, I got these at home. I love them. Buy one, get one 50% off. I drop $160 at the shoe store. I get a brown pair and then a matching pair of black. They feel good, they're comfortable, and he assures me, I show him the clothes I'll be wearing with, he assures me these are the right shoes to wear with those clothes and to look more casual rather than dressy and to be comfortable. I'm like, nice.
I go back out after spending like 10 minutes in the shoe store. And the kids, there's been some drama there. My daughter keeps kicking my son on his animal. They were playing and chasing each other around, but then it got kind of nasty. My son scratched her. My daughter started kicking him. My son's crying. I'm like, well, yeah, like, you know, what do you want me to do? Like, why don't you make up, have fun, like don't waste this opportunity. But then they eventually get off the animals with a little bit more pain and suffering. We go over to another store next door. My daughter looks around there for a while and my son plays with me and snuggles me and hits me. Then we go down to another store. My daughter goes in there for quite a while and my son and I go to the escalators up by the theater and my son rides the escalators up and down like 10 or 20 times. He loves it. I start on the escalator going up. And then he walks up it and then he passes me on the way down. My mind's like, he might fall and get injured. I'm like, that's probably not going to happen. Just relax, bro. It's an escalator. It's probably going to be fine. So my son and I have fun on the escalators. I probably went up and down like 10 times myself. And my son went up probably double what I did. And it's nice. The security guard doesn't give us any shit or anything when we're doing that. And I'm like, I'm really grateful I'm out having fun with my kids, really enjoying it, not being like some anxious, stressed out parent, but, you know, doing things properly, at least in my opinion.
We go back. My daughter's still at the store and my daughter's in a bit of a fuss after she was the one who kept hitting my son and giving him a hard time. But, you know, he often starts it. Then we walk out and get back in the car. My daughter's upset still and my son is too. And what's nice is I'm not. I'm like, this is, you know, it's not my beef. It's not my character building. Or maybe this is my character building by just holding space for them to love each other and figure it out. So after we start driving like five minutes home and at some point I suggested like, you know, can you forgive your brother? And my daughter says no. And at some point, my daughter does decide to forgive him. She says, you know, I forgive you for hitting me. I'm sorry for hitting you. She's like, are you sorry for scratching me? And he's like, yes, I'm sorry for scratching you. And I cry a little bit. I'm like, see, that was beautiful. Like I didn't have to push or threaten or any of that. They made up by themselves. We had a great time. And I dropped the kids off at my ex-wife's house. They're in a great mood. I get a lot of dog snuggles. And I tell my ex-wife about the shoes. She's like, she knew what kind of shoes. As soon as I started describing them, she's like, oh, the ones that have a little white outline. Those are stylish. I'm like, thank you. It's funny. You know about this stuff because I'm just learning about it.
I then head out from my house to go back to go to my house. I text my friend to see if she's going to be at this AA meeting that's like 20 minutes away tonight. She is. Meanwhile, the girl from yesterday has now decided that she remembered that I was a YouTuber. So she went on there yesterday and watched a video I did with a crypto creator I recorded with. And the title is ICP legend Jerry Banfield finally speaks on his divorce. So she texts me like right around when I'm dropping the kids off. I just saw this, and I'm like, I'm just going to double down on this. So then I said, nice, here's a book you can follow that up with on Audible. And I send her my book on Audible named I'm Seeking a Wife. And then I remember she likes gifts and it's only seven dollars, you know. I'm like, I'll just pay for this for her. So I said, if you can give me your email, I'll gift it to you. I send her the book when I get home. And so she asked me right when I'm about to head out to this meeting, this is another reason I was slightly late, she asked me, she's like, I got it, do you get alimony? I'm like, whoa, what? I'm like, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned I was a YouTuber. I said, no, no alimony or child support either way. She's like, do you make your ex-wife work? Does she work while you all are married? I'm like, well, I set myself up for this, so I might as well go into it. So then I reply. I'm like, she didn't work except for a tiny bit of freelancing the first five years of the kids' lives. And then I had a business idea that failed. So we split the bills for a couple of years. Then she went back to working full time a few years ago, which she really enjoys, and she's done well. And I said, with the new business I'm building soon, I should be back to making enough to provide for a stay at home mom that raises the kids.
And then I'm like, all right, that's, I really do appreciate this girl's curiosity, like that she's got these questions. And I'm thinking, you know, for the second date, my idea is I want to be very clear on all the reasons we shouldn't proceed. Like, look, I want a real partnership with a lot of intimacy, and I'm not willing to compromise on that. You know, I want to have at least two kids. And, you know, I want to live healthy. I'm not going to have alcohol in the house and sloppy junk food and all that all over. It's like I want to live ultra healthy and I'm not going to negotiate on this stuff. Like you get on board with what I want or I'm going to keep looking until I find somebody who is. And that's to me, that's honest and that's fair. And that's what a lot of people don't do in relationships, or they don't do it until people are hooked and captured. Like I know somebody in my life, they didn't, you know, the guy didn't want more kids, didn't want to live together and didn't want to get married. And the girl wanted the exact opposite, you know, and they went back and forth for months. And, you know, now they've seemed to compromise years later, but it's like, if they'd have just been rigorously honest and clear about that stuff on the second date, it probably wouldn't have went any further. But if I'd have been rigorously honest with my ex-wife about how much I drank on the second date, she probably would have ran away. And that probably would have been good, or she would have been conscious that, okay, I'm signing up to go on this journey of alcoholism and recovery, you know? But going forward, I actually want to make sure if a girl starts to like me, I want to essentially reality check, like, hey, you know, this is what I've got to offer, and this is what I'm holding space for, and I'm not compromising on these, on the health, on the babies, and on the partnership. Like, if you're not on board with this now, before we've, you know, done anything more than a peck on the lips, like, this is what I've got to offer. And there's no wiggle room of compromise. Like, leave now. We can end this now. And I perfectly respect you and understand if you don't want to deal with this. But if you want to proceed, like, on a third date, this is what you got to be on board with. And I feel really good about operating at that level of clarity.
I head home. I go to the AA meeting. And my friend's there. I bring him over to sit next to the girls. I talked to the one sponsee for a while. She's married and I saw her in like her first few weeks sober. And I've seen her journey for like the last six months now. And I have a great talk with her, like the most depth I've talked with her. The girl that I actually texted that was super friendly to me like a year ago and was listening to my music and really supportive of my work, she's there. Give her a big hug. Her sponsor, who I absolutely love. I bring my book Un Fn Myself to give to her sponsor, who I imagine reads physical books. And sure enough, she does. She reads physical books at night. She really appreciates, you know, the physical book there. And I share during the meeting. I get my friend to share during the meeting, too. He's in his first nine months at this point. So I'm like, you know, it's a beginner's meeting, get your hand up and share. So he shares and tells where he's at, which is great. And then he elbows me that I need to share after the beginner section's over. I share some euphoric stuff about how, you know, I've been sober 11 years, went to ACA for the first time. It was good to be new somewhere. And if you're new, you know, nothing I've been through in my sobriety has ever been as hard as getting sober was. Not changing my diet, not getting divorced, not having all three of my grandparents die, not dealing with my mom and all her crazy stuff. And, you know, all that, like the fallout of my business in 2019, you know, ruining my finances. Nothing has been nearly as hard as early sobriety. My friend thinks that was a really good share.
And after the meeting, I see a woman across the room I want to talk to. So I tell my friend, I'm like, watch this, because he's talking about how he wants to talk to a girl but he's nervous. So I eventually get introduced to this woman. And it turns out I met her last time I was here. And I just forgot. Whoops. She remembers me better than I remember her. I'm like, that's nice, I'm getting noticed that way. So I shake her hand, I say hi to her. But then right after that, she has her son and her partner and is introducing them to the girls that I was there to meet. I'm like, well, forget this. So they end up talking to a couple of guys there. My friend and I talked for a couple of hours after that outside the meeting. We're talking all kinds of stuff. We talk about reading people, and I've learned to trust my gut about who feels genuine to me, while staying humble that I can be wrong about it sometimes.
My friend and I have lots of conversations about the girls. And there's this girl in a meeting he wants to talk to. I'm like, do you see how I went about it? I saw a girl I wanted to talk to. I waited. I was patient. I got introduced to her. And then I was pretty quickly disappointed. So I moved on. But the girl he wanted to talk to, I talked to her a couple of weeks ago after the business meeting and had a great conversation with her. You know, he's talking about like playing safe and stuff. I'm like, look, you need to go for what you want in life. And he thought some of the stuff I do is manipulative. And I was a little hurt by that. But at the same time, I'm like, look, as a man, to me, it's up to me to go for what I want and do what I need to do to get it as long as it's considerate and respectful of other people. As long as I'm not doing anything to hurt someone or be dishonest with someone, yeah, I'm going to go talk to the girl I want to talk to. I'm going to ask a girl I'd like to see again to speak in a meeting so I can see her again and be in contact with her. Absolutely. Of course I'm going to do that because I go for the things I want. Yes, it hurts. I told him I was so vulnerable. You know, I had some fear on the date yesterday, but it was, I felt alive, too, and I went for it. And, you know, he respects that. And I listen, he shares about his life. And I really enjoy this precious time.
I'm like, you know, if I had some girlfriend already, if I had some woman at home, I wouldn't be taking two hours to talk with my friend after the meeting, because, you know, I'd be home with her. So I'd be just like back when my ex-wife and the kids and when I was married, you know, then I would generally rush home after most meetings to get back to my family. And I'm really enjoying now that I don't have to rush home. And I've been encouraged today by this girl being interested in me that I went out with yesterday. But at the same time, like, I definitely, I sent my feedback to my matchmaker this morning. And I definitely want to see 11 more dates. My mind's also getting toxic and thinking I should do dating apps and stuff at the same time. And it's like, I'm not paying for anything for dating again until we go through the rest of these matches at a minimum. And if this match was so compatible and so interesting as like the first match, I got to see 11 more of them.
I drive back home and I get home at like 10:40 and I'm like, shoot, I'm behind on my recording these diary entries, which are like my 10th step in AA. But I'm like, you know, first priority is to make sure I get my sleep and take care of myself. So I brush my teeth, climb into bed at like 11. I'm like, no worries. I'll dictate this diary entry and the one I missed yesterday also. We'll dictate both of those on Sunday morning.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.