Women are going absolutely nuts for perfectly average men. I know this message is the exact opposite of what a lot of videos on YouTube will tell you, and that's exactly why I'm putting it out there. If you're a perfectly average guy, I have great news for you. If you offer unconditional, heartfelt love to a woman — to women generally — you will be shocked at how women respond to you.
I've just been through this transformation myself. I did this fifteen years ago when I met my ex. My ex is as beautiful as you could want a woman to be. I opened my heart and just loved her from the very beginning, and she went nuts for it. We had fifteen years together. Toward the last few years of our relationship, I started to fail at offering that unconditional love, and she didn't like that, and we got divorced. Then I dated in the same mind space that most of the dating videos on YouTube are created in — the idea that dating is broken, that you should play all these games, try to manipulate people, act a certain way, looksmax, and all that stuff.
Am I Way Above Average? Look at Me
Now, if you look at me, do you see a guy that you would consider way above average? I certainly feel like it inside, and I think I have a good-looking face. I have a lean body, but I don't have a six pack. Around my waist, I still have some love handles hanging off from being eighty pounds heavier a decade ago. I think my face is beautiful. At the same time, based on my physical appearance, if I go on a dating app, do I get top-ten-percent-man results based off my appearance and my signaling? Absolutely not. I struggle on dating apps. But in person, I'm getting shocking responses from women, and that's how I've started dating an absolutely beautiful, perfect woman. I want you to know how to do this.
I talked a bit about this in my video where I explained how I invite a woman to approach me without saying a word — I would absolutely watch that one after this one. My videos have been getting on a whole other level after I studied all the dating advice on YouTube and saw what really makes sense and what's amazing versus what's not. I stopped trying to just pick women up all the time, and I noticed how much women are hungry for unconditional love. I started encouraging people to stop looking for these eights and nines and tens, or whatever y'all are rating — just date someone that you find beautiful. I started talking about how dating is hard because we haven't forgiven. If you look at my dating videos, you can see how heartfelt I'm getting in them.
I Begged for Her, and the Next Day I Met Her
The day after one of those videos, at the yoga studio, a just beautiful woman approached me and started talking to me first. I made a video explaining exactly how that happened and why that happened. Then I got to a bit of a struggle, and I opened my heart and I begged. I begged — after first yelling out that there's no higher power — I begged whoever was listening. God, Jesus, my future wife. I said, please, I'm ready for you. I'm struggling. I'm having a hard time without you. Please, I'm ready for you. I opened my heart and I acknowledged the struggle in dating.
Then literally the next day, I met a woman, and my heart was open. I approached her — even though I'd said I was tired of doing that and I wasn't going to do that anymore. I approached her, and what she got was that unconditional love coming from my heart. That reverence, that respect, that joy, that sensation that she is good enough for me. That woman and I exchanged numbers. I called it an instant date. We've gone on a second date, a third date, and now we're just dating each other. We had the most beautiful date today.
What I have to offer is that unconditional love. I know how to offer it and what it feels like, and I know what it feels like to lose track of it. My intention — my intention is to never lose track of that unconditional love that I have to offer again. This woman told me, "My parents didn't even love me that way." And I can tell you, maybe not every woman, maybe not even most, but there's a percentage of women who are desperate to receive that unconditional love from a man. And they can feel it — you don't have to say anything.
It Wasn't My Looks — I Dressed Ridiculous on Purpose
I hope we can do some videos together on this channel so I can help you see her and get to know her — we've only been on three dates, though, so we're not quite there yet. But that unconditional love is what she felt, and that's what got her attention. Not what I said or how I looked. In fact, I had intentionally gone to this yoga class trying to look pretty ridiculous. I wore a green shirt, and then I wore green shorts that were a significantly different color of green. I had a big Christmas-looking green shirt with red glitter that said Jerry Banfield on it. I dressed up looking ridiculous, like I don't care about my appearance.
Women — although some men are very empathic too — women on average tend to be very sensitive to how they feel with a man. The number one thing you can do to help a woman feel amazing with you is to think about how much you love her. There's no reason why you can't go around loving every woman, and ideally every man, as much as possible, all day, every day. I know it's hard — especially the more you watch videos talking about how dating is broken, and you watch extreme opinions, and you watch people put each other down. The more you take that in, the more it closes your heart and leaves you scared and rationalizing why everything's awful and you shouldn't even try.
What I've done is open my heart and say, I don't care if I get destroyed doing this. I'm going to offer first women collectively as much unconditional love as I can. And then, when I met the woman I'm dating now: I'm going to focus this love on her, and I'm going to communicate it clearly to her in a mature, respectful way that respects boundaries. But at the same time, this is my world. On our date today, I cried at one point, setting very clear intentions. I said, I never want to be harsh with you, and I regret all the times I've been harsh with women. I'll do anything to give you that love consistently without any of the harshness. It was beautiful. She snuggled up to me, and then she felt safe to open up and talk about how much she wants that unconditional love that's so scarce.
Love Maxing Beats Looks Maxing
So if you're a perfectly average man — maybe even below average — if you can open your heart, I guarantee you women will notice, and you don't have to say anything. They will feel something special with you. Not everyone, though. Like I talked about in my fitness classes video, where I shared where I found the best place to meet women — not every single woman is going to be ready to receive your love. There are women with boyfriends, with husbands, with girlfriends, with wives. There are women who are struggling, who are closed-hearted, who are not open, who are not interested. But there are women out there who — the same way men are thirsty for beautiful women — are thirsty for a man who has an open heart and can offer them real love.
To me, what's better than looks maxing is love maxing. I hope I just came up with that. Try to love as hard and as open as you can. And remember: there's no love that's wasted. I've been to so many yoga classes where I've just poured out love for the woman next to me and gotten no acknowledgement back or anything. And it's like, well, I hope I brightened her day. But then occasionally — and the more you're on top of it, maybe you go to a fitness class every day and put out that kind of energy — probably once a week, something is going to happen. Regardless of where it goes or how compatible you are, you're going to get some kind of amazing response.
Here's what I've noticed. A week ago Thursday, a woman literally turned to me, looked at me first, put her hand out, and said, "Great job." How many classes have I been to where that never happens when I'm showing up with closed-hearted energy? But when I'm putting out that loving energy, women who are sensitive and looking for it are just as thirsty for it. The equivalent for men is this: for women, being attractive and having a beautiful body often gets the attention of a bunch of men. For men, if you go around with a loving, open heart, that's the same thing as being a really hot woman. I'm just sharing my experience, and that's exactly how it's working for me.
The Proof You're a Strong Man
The most attractive thing you can do as a man is have real loving emotions, and then feel confident and take the risk of sharing them. Not every woman is going to like it. Sometimes you will get crushed and heartbroken. But the proof that you're a strong man is that you can do it again. My divorce was crushing and heartbreaking at times. And yet here I am — five days ago at the yoga studio with an open heart, thinking about how much I love all the women in the room, and how grateful I am that there are other men in the room who have this same practice in common with me. And right after that, I meet a woman who reinforces it. She gives back some of that love, and then I feel the love I gave out, and it becomes a feedback loop.
So I promise you: if you'll stop focusing on your appearance as a man, and stop watching all these videos telling you junk information, all you need to do is open up and love unconditionally — and love yourself. Respect yourself as a man. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Say, "I'm proud of you. I love you, buddy. I'm so proud of you. You're doing great." Love yourself and love others, and I guarantee you women will respond. For example, I walked into the yoga studio today with this beautiful woman I'm dating, and there were lots of men there who were more attractive, taller, with bigger muscles, younger — men who would probably clean up on dating apps. They'd get all the matches, and I'd get none.
Why Is She There With Me?
But why — with this woman being so friendly and knowing lots of those guys — why is she there with me? Because I opened my heart to her, and I have been disciplined in keeping it open. When fears tried to step in, I said, no — I love this woman. I'll do anything for her. I trust her. I'm going to give my heart completely to her. And until either she accepts it completely — which so far is what's happening — or she completely rejects it and encourages me to go somewhere else, then I'll do that.
All you need to do as a man is love. Love, love. And clear out anything in your life that makes it harder to love. Clear out anybody you're watching. Clear out anything you're doing where you feel like it closes your heart and you have to work to open it again. That's why I get a massage every week — the massage helps me open my heart and clear out resistance. Conversations with people and fitness classes help me clear out resistance and love. And from there, it's just discipline. Every time the devil — or whoever — every time those negative thoughts come into my mind: no. I love. And that's what's true.
Love Is Not Wasted
Love is not wasted. My mom tells me, "You need to slow down with this woman." I said, no, I don't. I'm going to love her as much as I can. Love is not wasted — wherever it goes with her, I'm putting that love out into the world, and it will come back. So far, the love I'm putting out to her is coming back to me, and it's filling me up. It's up to her how she receives it. I surrender. I put out the love, and it's up to her. And what's beautiful is that if I keep putting out the love, there will always be someone who wants to receive it.
So be the man who can love. And if you want to talk with me about love, I'm not here to give you advice or tell you what to do. I'm here to lead by example and to listen to you. I am an incredible person to have a call with, and I would love to talk to you. If you want to work on how exactly you do this — how you show up somewhere and just have all these loving thoughts instead of all these self-centered, scared, fearful thoughts — I can talk with you much more about that. Or if you'd like to just share your experience and have me listen, after all the time you've listened to me, schedule a one-on-one call with me. I would love to talk with you.
And I invite you — I've got lots more for you on my Dating playlist.