This is my journal entry from February 7, 2026 — my real, unedited day, shared just as it happened.
The rats were going crazy last night. They were going all over the roof and I think they're up in the attic on the trees and stuff outside. It was nuts. I was having a hard time falling asleep because the rats constantly were doing something. So I ended up turning the HVAC back on with the space heater in there and blowing cold air in my face all night, which, in my experience, is not a good thing to do to your nose. Whoops. I just figured that out tonight as my nose is running like all day in the house and it stopped when I went outside and I spent hours outside and out of the house today. As soon as I get back home, it starts running again. I'm like, ah, crap. What did I do? Like, well, the house should not be sitting here with stagnant dry air at like 60 something degrees. Whoops. So I turned the air back up to 73. Good job, ChatGPT, on helping me figure that out.
I woke up today and I was wanting to go see a yoga instructor for the 7:15 yoga class because I haven't taken a class of hers in a week. I thought, I'm not setting an alarm. My body can just wake me up at that time if it wants to go. Sure enough, I wake up at like five something and I'm like, well, shit. I try and go back to sleep and I wake up then at 6:30. I'm like, all right, I guess you want to go to her class. So I end up dragging it out at like 6:50 to get out of bed. I throw down a Larabar. I go to her class and it's not a powerful one. It's all levels flow. Pretty restorative. Not too difficult, which is nice because between my nose and the rats, the sleep was a little off last night.
I get home, and today just feels like the day to work on the taxes. It's February 7th. I've got most of the stuff I need except it turns out when I go to my Coinbase account I'm not gonna have everything I need for them in order to do my crypto stuff, which I guess I'll have to wait for. But I put about three or four hours today into rolling through the taxes, sorting through all my old records and expenses. Currently it looks like I'm gonna have a very small profit last year, maybe like $10,000 or something, and that sucks. I got by with it, but I'd sure love to have a nice profit this year.
Meanwhile, I'm so excited I'm Seeking a Wife is up in Amazon ads, but it's not getting any impressions. I guess because it's running up to Valentine's Day, it's a high traffic time, and bids are up. So I finally end up yanking the price of my bid up to $2.34 a click, and I crank the budget up to $33 a day. And I turn off all my other ads. I want to focus all my ads on I'm Seeking a Wife. Because to me, this is the most interesting book I have to advertise. I'll create more. But right now, this is the only one I've got. So I might as well dump the entire budget I'm comfortable spending all into the book. And the click-through rate's been crazy low. So I should get tens of thousands of impressions on Amazon. And the question is, are those worth anything? Well, we're going to find out. Officer Banfield did drive a sale with similar metrics to what's possible here. So we shall see. What's most interesting is how much money do I need to spend on ads where I start getting girls contacting me consistently after seeing my book? Well, I intend to find out.
My mind's bringing fear and doubt in saying this Amazon ads plan is not going to work. You're screwed. And I'm like, well, dear intuition, please let me know what would work. And thanks. I'll just be ready to do whatever is going to work, to make enough money. I have so much passion for creating these books. I can't think of anything better for me to create. These books can last the test of time. And they can all lift each other up. They've got the variety of formats. From audio to print. To even a Kindle and a physical copy. I think that's ideal. I want to keep doing this. And I'm going to do it until I see another better idea. Or for some reason I can't. And I hope we're going to avoid the I can't scenario.
The kids come over as I'm getting to a stopping point in the taxes, and they're off today. They're fighting with each other. They're, you know, hitting, slapping, and I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do with them because I don't want to threaten and punish them anymore. I'm so over that. And my ex-wife used the tools she knew how to use with the threatening and the punishing, but this is my house, and I'm tired of trying to manage my kids with threats and punishment. I'm not going to do that anymore. Unfortunately, that leaves me not knowing what the hell I should do. Because I'm not going to threaten things. I'm not going to come up with punishments. But I don't know how I can try and navigate their behavior. It ends up with my daughter slapping my son after he slaps her. And of course, I'm asking them to stop. I would love to have fun together, and they're not hearing any of that. I'm trying to hold the space and forgive them, and none of that matters. My daughter slaps my son harder than he hit her. He cries for a while. Then she goes to the park to sit in a tree to try and get some space. She brings her cup of tea. And I carry her back to my house a couple hundred yards, which was good for some nice snuggles. I go back to the park and I'd left my son at the playground with the other kids there. And right when they're leaving, I get back to pick him up. So he's happy having his time to play with them. We get home and my ex-wife gets there about 20 minutes later.
This morning, one of my friends from AA said that I should come to this big AA dinner tonight. And having nothing other than an AA meeting I was going to do, I decided to go. I drive up the coast to a banquet hall, and I had enough food for the whole day beforehand in case the food was crap. I get there, and it actually looks like they got some nice salads set up. Like, there's a nice salad bar, so I'm optimistic I'll have a little bowl of salad at least. I go around and talk to my sponsor and the friend who gave me this $40 ticket for free as a gift, which was nice. I talked to some of the other people there. There's some attractive women out, but none that seem to have any interest in me. I have lots of great conversations with the guys though and with one of the older ladies. Hit some interesting details about different people's relationships and dating and criminal histories. You know, the usual stuff that you enjoy at AA meetings.
I then am there for the sobriety countdown. I'm happy to stand up at 11 years. I feel like I'm a baby in this room though because there's a guy with 65 years sober. Then nobody else in the room has even 55 years sober. But below that, once we hit somebody around like 49 or so years sober, somebody has that year sober every year all the way down on the countdown. Between when you add all the alcoholics up, we had like 3900 years of sobriety or something like that in a room. It was pretty cool.
After the sobriety countdown, my friend goes to leave. So I walk him out to the car and he tells me to open my heart and put out loving energy towards the people in a room. And I said, you know, I'm happy to do that when it's a hot girl at yoga. And maybe I'll widen the amount of time I do that. Maybe I shouldn't just be putting that loving energy out when it's a hot girl at yoga like the woman from my class. I haven't been thinking of her as much today, but I still love the little exchange we had, the time we had together yesterday. And I'm getting back more into reality instead of fantasy, which is reasonable.
At the same time, I'm grateful I'm tapping into a fuller side of my imagination lately, and not just about sex but picturing all the other things, like the talking and the dating and how we met and the first time out and exchanging numbers, instead of just watching porn or limiting my fantasies to sexual encounters. Because really, the process of finding my second wife, the whole thing would be sacred. I love all the memories I have of my ex-wife and I first meeting and dating and our early conversations were so special. And I'm so excited to have that again with somebody else. And I'm refusing to get into fear and doubt. I'm going to follow the path of joy and I'm going to trust that it's going to lead to more joy, right? Because that's logical. If I'm living joyfully today, if I'm helping people today, if I feel wealthy today, if I enjoy where I'm at today, if I'm excited for the relationship that's coming, then good things are going to keep happening, right? That seems logical.
I am almost done with The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav, and that's been helping me raise my vibe. Not that I agree with everything in the book, especially karma. Like, yeah, something today looked like some instant karma, but at the same time, it also looked a bit over the top, more than what would seem to merit it. That said, the whole karma thing and the path that everyone's going to ascend positively, I think there's another way to look at it. I think some people ascend through negativity, through utter unrelenting selfishness. That some path of enlightenment is to be absolutely, constantly selfish and to consider no one besides yourself. And that's a valid path to enlightenment also. Maybe my book, my book will say that.
I was thinking about working on a book this morning, and I'm thinking about writing a book about money called I'm Seeking Money. And I've done so much on the taxes now, and I thought I'd just put out, since I'm Seeking a Wife is out, I don't need to be in a hurry to put out I'm Seeking Money right afterwards. But I want to get a bunch, at least five or ten of these books out and test them in ads. Because if I can do that in a month or two, I'll know whether that business system is going to work or not. And if it works, we'll be printing money, baby, and I'd love that. I'd love that. I also finally get a friend's book submitted today. After she started dictating it months ago, the audiobook is submitted. And I think that means everything's done.
After I walked my friend out, I sat through some of the speech from the AA speaker tonight. And, you know, he was above average, I'd say. Of course, I figure I could have done a better job if I'd got up there. But, you know, that's just my humility talking. That said, he is up there and I'm not. And I headed out after we did the Lord's Prayer. I didn't see or feel anything happening. I was ready to get back home and shower, maybe get in bed a little bit earlier tonight and have a little time to read, dictate this, and I guess that's enough for today.
If you connect with how I live and think, you can follow the rest of my days on YouTube in my Life playlist.