I've researched thousands and thousands of altcoins, and these are the 25 coins that most piss me off — the 25 coins I can't stand the most. I went through today and used Claude to go through all my recent videos and come up with a hate score for the coins I can't stand the most, and this is what it came up with. I'm so excited to present this, because so many of you love these coins — but maybe I know something you don't.
Can I swear yet? Are we a minute in? I'll wait a minute. I can't stand these coins because, to me, they're all losers. They do nothing useful for the world, and I'm going to roast each of them one by one. I'm going to make this entertaining, because I know you're tired of the usual, and I'm going to explain why each coin fucking sucks. I know some of you don't like my swearing videos — that's okay, I'll take the unsubscribes and the rest of us can have some fun. This beat is sick. I want to take a ride on your disco stick.
Bitcoin: Hate Score 88
The coin I apparently hate the most is Bitcoin, with an 88 hate score across 46 posts — I've shit on Bitcoin in 46 videos and posts on my website. If I could summarize it in Claude's words, which are my words, which were Claude's words: to me, Bitcoin has become a Ponzi scheme at this point. For everyone who's all circle-jerking about Bitcoin — oh, it's so good, it's the future of global money — bullshit. It's a 17-year-old blockchain that everybody else bought before you did, and now they're selling you what you don't even know is real Bitcoin or not on crypto exchanges.
There are a hundred ways you lose your money on this, whether it's losing your hardware wallet keys, whether the crypto exchange goes down, whether you get your funds frozen and the exchange doesn't let you withdraw the Bitcoin that's yours, whether a relative dies and you can't get that Bitcoin off the crypto exchange, or whether something happens with the Bitcoin blockchain itself, like quantum computing. There are so many scenarios where people lose money in Bitcoin that don't even have to involve the price going down. In fact, one reason the price is where it is today is because so many people have lost the Bitcoin they had before.
In my view, Bitcoin is just a Ponzi scheme at this point, and buying into Bitcoin is absolutely insane right now. You missed it — it's too late. I don't see why you'd invest and take huge risks to get shitty incremental gains that, at this point, are only going to come from institutional buyers who don't know what the fuck they're doing with hundreds of millions of dollars. I certainly wouldn't want to bet on that.
Ethereum: Hate Score 58
Next is Ethereum, with a hate score of 58 — which I'm surprised by, and I guess it's just because I've hated on Bitcoin and Ethereum so many times. Ethereum is crumbling. Ethereum peaked in 2017 — the price has never been as good against Bitcoin again. Ethereum sucks. All Ethereum does now is have branding, and it's like a calculator. People like Vitalik Buterin won't even talk about ICP, because I believe he's scared of people finding out about it and pulling everything off Ethereum — because there is a true Ethereum competitor now that, in my view, crushes everything else, including all these other so-called Ethereum competitors. And really, ICP is not even an Ethereum competitor any more than Ethereum is a Bitcoin competitor.
Ethereum did make a big advance in tech ten fucking years ago. But it's not 2016 anymore. Ethereum sucks now. You missed the chance to make huge gains on Ethereum. Again, it's just narratives about how big money might buy into it — but how much is it going to go up? It's too big, the layer twos are extracting shitloads of value from it, and it's too late. This is not financial advice, obviously, because I don't hold any of these dumb fuckers. The only one I hold is ICP, because to me it has the best tech in crypto and it's valued like a micro cap — I mean, it's a billion dollars, it's smaller than most of these. Not what she said.
So Ethereum — you missed it. It's crumbling. It's just sustaining. It's like a zombie coin at this point. The innovations are practically meaningless, ICP shits on everything Ethereum does, the TVL is fragmented into all these layer twos, and the Ethereum liquid staking is, in my opinion, a house of cards. This shit could all come collapsing down, and then you'll all be like, oh my god, I can't believe this — and I'll be like, I told you so.
XRP: The Worst Coin in Crypto
Now, speaking of I told you so: if I had to put my own hate score on one of these, XRP would be my number one. To me, XRP is the worst coin in crypto. I personally have seen what looked like bots pushing my videos when I hyped XRP three years ago. It looked like bots pushed my videos — it looks to me like bots push XRP videos. That's how pathetic this fucking coin is.
And here's the dumbest thing with XRP: even if all this shit came true — all these dumb narratives about how they're going to put the entire future of finance on XRP and trillions of dollars of assets are going to circle-jerk each other — even if that happened, the fact is that XRP has three hundred and some dollars a day in fees. Which is so shitty. ICP has 10 to 20 times that many fees for a roughly 90 times smaller market cap. In my view, XRP is the biggest bullshit market cap in crypto. Not only that — Ripple, still, 14 years later, gets huge billions of dollars of token unlocks every year. It's ridiculous.
I used to like watching a lot of conspiracy videos, and then this one fucking liar comes along, and she's talking about all these other things — how ETs are contacting her, astral travel, all this shit — and then she tells her audience to buy five hundred dollars of XRP and they're going to be set for life. I'm like, god damn it, now I know you're lying about all this other shit too, because I can call out the bullshit on XRP. And you know what? Even though she told her followers about XRP at 50 cents, if you had put five hundred dollars in back then, you know what you'd have today? A fucking thousand. Wow. Holy shit. That's life-changing money. And in my opinion, XRP goes nowhere from here, because the blockchain's useless, there's no real business model, and outside of people being total fucking idiots, no one will buy XRP again. Not financial advice.
Maybe I Should Start a Crypto Channel for Women
Was that too harsh? Is that too much? Most of the people watching this are dudes, and dudes — men — tend to work best when they're challenged. Ladies, maybe I should make a crypto channel for you that's really supportive, where I say: look, sweetheart, XRP — somebody's been lying to you about it. Now, I know you're such a beautiful woman, and you're so intelligent, and you make good decisions, and you know, maybe you're just having a bad day. Forgive yourself. Go ahead and sell that XRP — but it's not financial advice. Just feel into your intuition and see what your intuition tells you about XRP. Then, you know, just open a Coinbase app and see how it feels for a minute. You don't have to sell anything — just try putting in a sell order and see what it feels like. Just don't even click the button. Fucking sell that shit. That's not financial advice.
So maybe I should do a crypto-for-women channel — y'all think that'd be good? Because I realize some of these videos are too confrontational for some of the women, and I hear that, because people in person are like, yeah, you can't talk like that in front of women. Like — who put this thing together? Me. That's who. And if you want to talk to me and give me feedback on my videos, go to jerrybanfield.com and buy the lifetime chat access, because I'm not reading comments from people on YouTube. I'm above that — there are too many comments, too much bullshit, too many bots. Fuck it, I'm not looking at it. If you support me and buy the lifetime access, I will read all the shit you have to say. Now, back to destroying these shit coins.
Cardano
Cardano. To me, the economic thesis is broken beyond repair — oh, duh. And "we're gonna bring Cardano to Africa" — like, one bullshit thing after another that doesn't materialize, one partnership after another. Charles Hoskinson gets so stressed out he needs to take a vacation. Of course he does — in my view, he knows his blockchain is going nowhere, that there's no future for it, and that'd be stressful for me to know, too.
Hyperliquid
Number six: Hyperliquid. Hyperliquid is so bad. The tokenomics are so junk on Hyperliquid — so junk. Like, 40 billion dollars just sitting there, ready to get dumped on everybody who's clueless about basic shit on a CoinGecko or CoinMarketCap page. It's sitting right there, saying: we're going to dump all this shit in your face. And it's one single number. Guys — I say guys because 96% of you are men, all right, so guys and the one lady watching — look, this shit's right here. I love you all, that's why I'm trying to tell you, I'm just trying to give it to you straight. Look at this: outstanding token value, 36 billion dollars. This is fucked. This is completely fucked. There's more than double the circulating supply sitting there in token unlocks. Absolute shit. And the exchange is, to me, a useless shithole for trading perps that's not even actually decentralized — absolute garbage. It's not decentralized: they own the website, and they restrict people from the US from using it. Another bullshit.
Bittensor (TAO)
I'm glad Bittensor TAO is up there in my hate score, because I think Bittensor and the entire thing is fraudulent. Their marketing is "decentralized AI," when the truth — you can't handle the truth — the truth, in my view, is that it's a scorecard. It's a basic-ass blockchain with a scorecard for AI outputs that are ranked by circle-jerk validator, miner, and subnet-owner setups that extract value from every fucking idiot who puts money into the system and doesn't know that.
And look, I've been an idiot lots of times in my life. My dating recently has been difficult — realizing, wow, this beautiful woman liked you until you opened your mouth. You're a dummy. That's me talking to myself. And it's like, all right, what am I doing wrong? I must be pretty dumb here, because I don't even know what I don't know. The place where you get better is realizing how dumb you are. And dumb is not a permanent state — it's just being ignorant or uninformed, realizing how much you have to learn. It's not a permanent assessment of your capabilities; it's realizing, I don't know what I need to know here, and that's why this happened. So I read a whole bunch of dating books, I tested some different approaches, and all of a sudden, now women are reacting to me completely differently. Like, wow — I'm glad I realized I was dumb. Because as long as you go around blaming other people, you stay stuck.
I have a great dating channel that covers all of this, by the way. And as long as you go around whining about "well, women this" or "well, men that" — no, you need to learn how shit works. When you know how life works, you will be empowered. If you stop blaming other people and realize you need to learn a thing or two, then life's going to get better. And this is crypto: so many people in crypto go around bitching about everybody else, when what you should do is learn how the fuck this stuff actually works. Then you won't end up in projects like Bittensor that, in my view, rip you off with provable bullshit.
The Bittensor setup is disgusting to me. One of the co-founders goes around marketing it — literally his words — that the three major innovations in his lifetime are: one, the internet; two, Bitcoin; three, Bittensor. Like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I could probably spin up my own version of Bittensor on ICP. Bittensor is less efficient than using centralized AI, and it's absolute garbage for doing almost anything real, because it's slower and more expensive, and it's liable to be circle-jerked, where the subnet owner, the miner, and the validator are all the same. And when you call out a Bittensor developer on that, they're like, "well, nobody would do that." I'm like, look — in crypto, you should assume everybody's lying, cheating, and stealing from you unless you can prove otherwise. Bittensor — I absolutely can't stand it. I'm glad I don't have any of these in my portfolio, because I'd feel awful.
Chainlink
Chainlink. Shitcoin — total shitcoin, in my opinion. It's a coin; it's not even a blockchain. The value capture problem with Chainlink is that no matter what they do with their whole business — and first off, I believe their business system is going out of business. When you have ICP, which can build without oracles, and AI that can just pull all the data for itself, you don't need Chainlink anymore. Chainlink made sense in 2016, when blockchains couldn't fucking fetch their own data, but it doesn't make sense now. On ICP, I can build an entire website that pulls data itself. For example, on ICP I've got my own store, and it has webhooks, and it pulls data back and forth from Stripe when people buy stuff, and then puts all of that straight up on a website. Only ICP can do that. When you build on ICP, you don't need Chainlink anymore — and when you use AI, Chainlink is also irrelevant, because AI can just do all of it for you. So Chainlink, to me, is just old, useless technology at this point, powering a bunch of old stuff. It'll still have some relevance — but even if it stays relevant as a business system, the coin itself does not legally own any of that. None of it, not even through real governance. It's just another value extraction.
Dogecoin
Dogecoin. It's junk, and it's been junk the whole time. It's a dog meme coin. Even Elon Musk pumping it again at this point — if that happened — would barely move the price a little bit. If you're going to fool around with meme coins, why not try to get a 100x on something, or get rugged in real time, instead of holding Dogecoin — which shares its mining with Litecoin, which is really weak for proof of work? My God.
Stellar (XLM)
Stellar, XLM: to me, it's literally a shit fork copy of XRP. If XRP's a loser, XLM is a copy of a loser. Look at my partnership research and you can see an example of a big partnership that ends up being a total loser for the XLM token.
Kaspa
Kaspa: in my view, an absolute junk project that will go to zero. Fucking useless. When you look into the technology, they slap on some language that makes you think something's useful, but I see utterly useless proof-of-work technology.
Sui
Sui. Compared to ICP, both Solana and Sui are garbage technologically in my opinion — and Solana has much more branding and marketing than Sui does. There's no reason to do anything with Sui. Like, why would a developer build on Sui unless they're getting a huge paycheck? And if your only incentive is to get a paycheck to build on something, what happens when the price drops?
NEAR Protocol
NEAR Protocol: fake-ass AI. "We're AI" — no, you're trying to hand out money to people to launch tokens that rip investors off, to do stuff with AI off chain and then maybe occasionally put an output on chain. Absolutely disgusting crypto marketing, and in my opinion completely fraudulent advertising. They literally say in their X posts "on-chain AI," and then when you call them out that that's bullshit — NEAR does not do AI on chain — they respond saying, "well, you don't need to do AI on chain." Then why the fuck does your marketing say the AI is on NEAR, that it's built on NEAR? No, it's not. And NEAR gets tagged as an AI blockchain — total bullshit. The blockchain can't do a fucking thing with AI, actually on the blockchain.
Cronos (CRO)
Cronos — one of the cryptos I lost the largest proportional amount in. I put in like $3,500, and it went down to like $500, because Joe Paris got me in on a debit card. It helped me learn a valuable lesson: it doesn't matter if there's a big exchange behind a token — the token can still be shit while the exchange makes a bunch of money. I realized I'd been fooled. Dumbass debit card — they changed the benefits after I got locked in. Don't you ever try and fuck me, Tony.
Toncoin
Toncoin — TON, slash Gram. I can't stand this one, because to me it's just leeching off of Telegram's branding. Toncoin offers no meaningful integration. It's, again, just integrating a coin into an existing environment where the coin doesn't need to exist by itself, offering no innovation.
MemeCore
Speaking of no innovation: MemeCore, one of the worst offenders in the top 100. Another one of these gigantic market caps with absolutely no meaningful value that I can see behind it. Really — we need a meme-coin-only layer one? When we already have Solana with a shitload of meme coins on it, and we already have Ethereum with a shitload of meme coins on it? And then almost four billion dollars of market cap sitting there to lose? That's really what we need?
Financial Engineering in Real Time
And how nice — the fucking Hyperliquid price just went up while I was talking shit about it. As I imagine it, they're working hard. Look, that's great: some financial engineering bullshit just happened. This is crypto — this is financial engineering bullshit, right here. The price goes up ten dollars while I'm shitting on it, and what happened? What exactly happened? Nothing happened. In my view, some exchange intentionally bought, with not even necessarily real money, a whole bunch of coin to shoot the price up. That's financial engineering, and it'll work as long as people are fooled into buying stuff based on a ticker without doing any research. When people realize they're holding some crypto-mafia coin with things like Hyperliquid, you are supporting financial extraction and absolutely meaningless innovation by holding it — and you're looking to lose a bunch of money by being a part of it.
Oh, and now all the cryptos just pumped. Well, maybe something did happen, because Bitcoin just went up — and maybe IC-fucking-P actually went up too. It's still financial engineering, though, because these pumps are irrational, emotional, stupid pumps. And no — ICP didn't get much of a pump, because the financially engineered bullshit coins all make sure to financially engineer together, and the ones that aren't paying to be financially engineered don't get the pumps. Look at these stupid-ass pumps on all these coins.
The Rest of the Worst
Let me finish up the rest of these, because I can't stand any of them, and why? Because in my view they're ripping you all off — because you're all sitting there with these in a crypto portfolio on Coinbase or some other exchange, where you don't even know if the coin's actually in your wallet. Some of you haven't even really bought these: you looked at a logo and bought the coin, you watched one video and bought the coin, and then it became an identity. I'm hoping to give you enough emotion to help pull your head out of your ass on a bunch of these coins, because the financial engineering and the bullshit narratives are only going to go on so long. I'm a signal for that, and AI is a signal for that. AI can cut through all these bullshit coins and figure out that almost all of them are full of shit. And when I can do that, and AI can do that, the day is coming when people dump most all of these coins — maybe get out of crypto, maybe buy ICP — but the day is coming when most all of these coins go down and are useless.
So, quickly: Ondo — I've already talked about that one a bunch. Tron. Avalanche. Pi Network. BNB — exchange coins are some of the worst; like, why would you support Binance? It's a huge exchange, similar to but even bigger than CRO, and one of the richest people in the world got that way off all the BNB he holds — it makes no sense to me. Algorand and Rain — horrible tokenomics. Canton — useless narratives and a huge amount of dump coming. Polygon — so many fucking useless partnerships that didn't materialize at all.
Pull Your Head Out
I can't stand any of these coins, and I can't stand them because, in my opinion, you all have gotten tricked into thinking these little logos make them valuable. Most of you have never looked into the details of how any of these coins work, or why any of this stuff matters. Most of you have never put any thought into: what — why should I hold this? And most of you have gotten sucked into having an identity in these coins. Like, "well, I've got to wait for Sui to go up in price." Why? You can be flexible, make changes in your life, and support the best technology — not some shitty narrative that's just ripping off people who don't know any better and don't look at basic token dilution.
Now, I know my videos can be hard to watch sometimes, but that's because I'm calling it what it is. I'm calling a spade a spade and seeing through the bullshit that's manufactured to rip you off, and I hope that helps you make some real changes. If you want the coin-by-coin deep dives behind these hate scores, they're all in my Crypto Reviews playlist.
If you want to talk to me, go to jerrybanfield.com and you can join the chat, and you can post to ask about any coins you want to. If I'm online, you can talk to me right there.
You can also schedule a Zoom call — I just started offering dating and YouTube coaching.
I've got a book, too. If you want to really hear some crazy shit, listen to my time as a police officer. That's fun.
If you have a crypto coin you want me to talk about — and maybe I won't roast it so hard — I hear there's a coin that's going to sponsor a video on this channel, and I just put that offer up today.
And I have a Skool community, if you're in there as well.
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Thank you to all the people who, since I just launched this, are on the leaderboard for supporting me: Zenith, True Self, Map Technical Forecasting, Circus, Tube Kilmar, and Blonde Troll. I appreciate your love and support, and I'll see you in the next video.