Men, It Is Our Responsibility to Change Dating in 2026
Men, it is our responsibility to change dating in 2026. If you think dating in 2026 sucks, then you do something about it. Don't sit around there and whine and listen to these content creators tell you that you should just be single and sit around. No — because men, we have much more to gain in a relationship than women do. Look at the data. Men that are single have almost every negative outcome in life more often. Look this up yourself in your favorite AI and ask about the statistics of men that are married versus men that are single. You'll find men that are married live longer. Men that are married are healthier. Men that are married tend to have much more fulfilled and happier lives. Therefore, it is up to us as men to go get the relationships we want. Now, women tend to have much better lives in a relationship too, but the masculine-feminine dynamic demands that men make the change happen.
It's ridiculous the state that even I was in earlier this year, when I filmed this ridiculous live stream saying I'll never ask a woman out again. My God, was I disempowered that day when I did that. And not long after that, I approached a woman at yoga and had such an amazing experience, even though a lot of it turned out to be negative and it was painful.
Look, men, we need to be stronger, better men. What women tend to find really attractive is a strong man — a man that can handle being rejected, a man that can handle over and over taking shots with women and having it not work out. I think it's ridiculous that guys are going around just staying single, not even talking to women, giving up. It is up to us. Our women deserve men that approach them. And we don't have to be weird or creepy about it. Just start a conversation. Just walk up and say something — you can say whatever you want. "Hi." Or you can be more fun and be like, "Do you think men or women in dating should be making the change?" Bring up this very topic. And there are certainly some women that will be ready to talk with you.
Strong Enough to Be Humiliated
I know how hard dating is in 2026. And I understand when I'm seeing these videos that say dating in 2026 is the humiliation ritual. It certainly is sometimes. But you should be a man strong enough to be humiliated. You should be able to take it over and over again. Because do you go to the gym? Do you sit there and lift weights? Is that difficult? But you do it over and over again because it's worth it.
I go to hot power flow yoga classes. When I first started doing these classes, I just felt like I was dying and being reborn. They were difficult. After years of not doing vigorous exercise, the hot power yoga flow is intense — those classes used to make me feel like I needed to lay around and rest the rest of the day. I used to not like doing them because they sapped my energy for the entire day. But now I can go knock out a hot power yoga flow class, then film six or eight long-form videos in a row like this one, then go pick my kids up from school and take care of them — and I'm lucky if I get a few minutes to just sit down and rest. Doing that intense workout has strengthened me. My heart is stronger. My muscles, my body, are stronger. My face looks better. And then women look at me and see a more attractive man, because I'm leaner and because they can see the strength.
And then I go play men on the tennis court. I am able to just wear guys down on the tennis court out in the Florida heat in the summer, because those hot power yoga flow classes have strengthened me to the point where it's not as bad being outside in the sun playing tennis as it is to be locked in a room with infrared heat, sweating your butt off straight for an hour. I've beaten a number of men playing tennis where they had more skill than me. I just went for endurance. I just tried to hit the ball back, drag the game out as long as possible, play conservative. And by the third set, they're finished. They can't even hardly hit their shots. They're missing the easiest stuff. They can't run anymore. And I win because I outlasted them.
So I encourage you with dating, men: it's up to us to get stronger. And women — certainly, you need to open up a little more. In my experience, some of the women that have been single a long time have a really hard time opening up and receiving a man into their lives. As soon as they feel pressure — "Oh, my God" — they run immediately. But men, we should be able to handle that. And I know it's difficult. On my Jerry Banfield Show vlogs channel, I did some crying vlogs. It was difficult. I found a woman I really liked, and what did she do? She ran away from me. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to keep trying. I'm going to keep filming videos. I learned a whole bunch from it, and I've gotten to be a much stronger man because of it.
Disempowered by Crap Content
Men, I'm tired of seeing all these weak men out there that are whining and crying and sitting there watching stupid videos talking about how dating is finished — and getting vasectomies in their 20s. If you want to do that, that's fine, but we need men that can produce children. Why are you getting a vasectomy in your 20s when you're single? That makes no sense. You're cutting off the possibility of having kids, and you don't even know when you're in your 20s what you're going to want 10 years later. You might want kids 10 years later. And so many of these videos are getting pushed out to all these people, and so many men are getting disempowered by all this crap content. I'm tired of seeing all these weak men in real life — whiny men that won't stand up for themselves, that don't stand up for what's important.
I was one of those weak men, and I see it. I went to yoga one day, and this beautiful woman actually started a conversation with me, initiating it with physical contact — she gives me a fist bump. This is a woman I'd never talked to, never even looked at. I put my yoga mat down next to her, we did yoga, and she turns to me after class is over and says, "Great job, that was a tough class," and gives me a fist bump. Then she starts talking to me and asking me questions. And I was in such a weak state that even though she made it so obvious she was interested in me, I didn't ask for her phone number. She even asked, "Do you usually come to this class?" And I was in that disempowered, weak state from watching garbage content. I'm glad I've learned this lesson, because many of you are much further into that than me. And I'm very willing to change, because I'd love a relationship. I want a beautiful, hot woman at my side and to have family with. And I'll be happy to date as many women as I can in the meantime, until one stands out.
And yet I see so many of you guys, and I want to lift you up. Stop being weak. Stop being wimpy. Stop laying at home and complaining about life, and go get what you want. Stop laying around thinking, "Oh, I don't need a woman, I'll just do semen retention." That stuff is crap. I've tried that. It's useless. In my experience, being with a woman is the most invigorating, healthy, stimulating thing you can do and can have as a man. It's amazing.
Nothing Compares to Having Kids
I was with a woman 15 years — a beautiful woman — and we had kids. The kids are the best thing I've ever created in my life. I was laying in bed this morning thinking, I can't believe these kids came out of me. This is awesome. This is what being a man is: that I have people on this planet that I helped create, that I've fed and raised and provided for and loved, and I'm still taking care of them. And people say, "That's crazy. You want to do that again? Don't you want to be free?" Y'all's definition of being free is my definition of being in prison. Being free is having a lot of people I love, and then looking out in the world and saying: I created you. I've helped you get where you're at.
People's idea of being single is so lame to me — taking all these trips, trying to find yourself all the time. You know when I feel found? When I'm going to the store with my son. I'm like, oh, this is a little version of me. I love him so much. I don't need to go to some stupid spiritual retreat to find myself, then go home and meditate and have somebody else tell me what to think. I have a son that is a little mini-me. That's priceless.
And going on trips and seeing the world — I've done that. I've lived over in Japan. I've lived in Germany. I've traveled. Do it. But taking trips ain't anything compared to having kids. It's nothing. It's one building, one landscape after another. Now yes, is it nice to go to national parks and stuff? Yes, it's awesome. But it sucks compared to having kids. Making money sucks compared to having kids. Having cars is useless — I've driven a police car, and that's way cooler than any car most of y'all drive. None of these cars y'all buy with a bunch of money is going to let you pull someone over and take them to jail. That is badass.
So many men are just pissing their lives away. And we can't expect women to stand up for men and help a man be a man. We should be helping each other, guys. I shared some of this at an AA meeting recently, and the men were ready to fight me because I made them look so weak from what I was saying. They looked so pathetic compared to me, and then they didn't like how they looked to the women — when you've got this man up there full of strength saying, y'all need to stop being so weak and step up. And then they want to fight. I'm like, good. Good that you want to fight. Good that you're pissed off with me, because at least you're feeling a little bit of what it feels like to be a man. Because if you're just sitting there groveling and whining and complaining and grinding in a video game, you're a loser in my mind. And I know.
I Know Because I've Been There
I know, because I've spent enough of my life being a loser — where I just played video games and just drank and just pissed my time away and groveled about how horrible the world is. Forget that. Get out there and make the world you want to make. And men, it's up to us to initiate. All right, women — it's difficult when a woman needs to step into her masculine and then initiate a relationship from there. It's often difficult for her to stay turned on. And I know, because that's where I went wrong. I became one of these weak little loser men that's just doing anything I can to serve my wife, where she's basically the man in the relationship. I got so disempowered it was hard for me to even make money, because I turned into this weak little bitch that's groveling to my wife. My wife's making all the decisions. My wife no longer sees me as a man. My wife's no longer attracted to me and no longer wants to have sex with me. So she divorces me and finds somebody else right away. And it's been tough to look in the mirror and say: bro, you need to step up. You need to become a real man. You already knew what it was like to be a real man in your 20s.
I remember when I looked at my teenage nephew and listened to how he talked. I thought, damn, this boy talks like a man — 18 years old, out here saying exactly what he thinks. And I've started talking like that, and it has scared people in person, because they often haven't heard a man talk in a while. They hear all these stripped-down, polite little guys. Somebody was telling this story — I think it was Owen Cook — about all these couples at a restaurant when a homeless guy walked up and started shouting. A lot of the guys were just scared and uncomfortable. But some of the women looked over at this homeless guy like, who is this man who still has a voice? Who is this man talking? And then they looked back at their own man like, you're weak compared to this guy that's homeless.
I'm Challenging You to Be a Better Man
I think men tend to grow best when we challenge each other. So I'm challenging you to be a better man. Stop being weak and wimpy and laying at home and giving up and complaining about dating in 2026. That's pathetic. You can do better than that. Get up off your couch and start learning and remembering how to be a man. Ask women out. Be direct. Ask a woman: "Hey, you're pretty. Would you like to go out with me? Are you single?" Be honest — you're tired of being single. And stop lying about it and acting like single men win big. No, they don't. Look at the data. Single men lose big. That's what the data says. Get out there and go after what you want, and obviously be considerate. Obviously, listen — if the woman's not interested, go on to the next one. But there are some women you will come up to, and they will be very interested, and they will be relieved. And some of them will be crazy. And some of them will ghost you. And some of them will be hot and cold. But you should be a strong enough man to handle it.
Once you start acting like this, you will find women are just looking at you differently. When I walk in the yoga studio with this kind of energy, women are turning their heads to look at me. Women are smiling at me. Women are initiating contact and talking to me. See, for men, we tend to look at women with hot bodies. But really, a woman's hot body is a function of a lot of other things she's done to be beautiful. Women tend to look at guys that have a sense of strength about them. And a lot of guys try to do this superficial thing of going to the gym and bulking up — but to me, that's the same as women getting breast implants and all these lip injections. You're doing surface-level stuff. That doesn't show that you've got real strength. It shows you can optimize one thing.
A man that comes in with real holistic strength — strong mind, strong heart, strong body — dude, women turn their heads and look at me. Women will start conversations with me. And I can tell you, when I walk in like a weak little bitch, women ignore me. And then I get all hurt: why don't they notice me? Because I'm walking in looking energetically ugly. But when I walk in like, boom, here comes the strength into the room — "Ladies, nice to see you today. You'd be lucky to have a life with me. I'd love to have a life with whichever one of you wants it. Who is it today? Let me talk to you. What's your phone number? Are you alone? Are you single?" — that energy is the equivalent for women. That's what they really look at, and sometimes they look at it through surface-level stuff like the body. I've got a lean, attractive body. But if you can't back up your attractive body with an attractive mind and a strong personality, then as soon as you open your mouth, they're going to be like, ew. Same thing the other way — sometimes attractive women open their mouths and it's, oh God, let me get out of here.
So What If 100 Women Tell You No?
So be a strong man. It's up to us to fix dating in 2026. Don't expect anybody else to do it. And if you fix your dating situation, you start going out there and cold approaching. Dating apps suck. In my experience, dating apps are not for strong men. Strong men should have the courage to walk up to a woman and ask her to her face: "Are you single? Oh, great. I'll take you on a date." And strong men should have the courage to miss, over and over, with women. So what if 100 women tell you no? You'll be a stronger man, and by the time the 101st woman comes along and you ask her, "Are you single? Would you like a date?" and she says yes, she'll be attracted to you because you were strong enough to get told no 100 times in order to get to her. And you could help a woman that's hoping you'll approach. When she thinks dating in 2026 is garbage, maybe you'll change her mind.
I'm Ready to Help You
So get out there, men. And if you want help — you can't do this by yourself — I encourage you: come to my website, join the Jerry Banfield Family and jump in my chat, and start asking me, "Jerry, what kind of courses should I buy?"
Because this is not an overnight thing. Awareness is the first step. But I read books and I practice this stuff in real life — you can see plenty of that lived practice over on my Dating playlist.
I invite you to come talk with me. Schedule a Zoom call with me and start asking: Jerry, what book should I read? What program — is there a course I should buy? What do I do? What do I change? Where's the first thing I might want to think about working on? What's the top priority to fix?
I'm ready for you. I'm ready to help you.