Going on a lot of first dates that never turn into second dates does not mean you're desperate, and it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Since my divorce I've been out with somewhere between ten and twenty women in a few months, and only one or two ever led to a second date. A lot of people would look at that and call it failure. I see it completely differently.
You might just be a niche flavor
Some people are a basic, popular flavor — if that's you, you may not have to date much to find someone compatible. I'm not that. I'm a full-time creator, full of energy, grounded in what I think, a divorced dad with strong masculine energy. That's not every woman's type, and it shouldn't be. I think of myself like pistachio gelato. Most people don't pick pistachio — but for the few whose favorite flavor it is, there is no substitute. They don't want vanilla or chocolate. So if a lot of first dates don't convert, it often just means you're a specific flavor looking for the specific person who's looking for exactly you.
Dating is character-building
We get programmed to believe that needing a lot of dates means you're sad, lonely, and headed for being alone forever. I think that's nonsense. Every woman I've gone out with has added something to my life and my story, even when it was only once. I went on a first date with a woman who told me she'd seen an alien spacecraft in person — and honestly, what a memorable evening. That's the point. Dating is one of the few contexts in life where you can meet a complete stranger and have a real, connective conversation within an hour. That's rare and valuable.
Treasure the first dates
I've come to treasure the first dates precisely because they're temporary. Each one expanded my awareness and gave me an experience I'll remember. And there's a quiet upside to all of them: one day I'll go out with someone and there simply won't be any more first dates with anybody else. The single dates I'm having now are the ones I'll look back on as the road that led there.
Date a lot — but minimize hookups
So my honest advice is to date as much as you can and meet as many people as you can. The one thing I'd restrict is hooking up — minimize sleeping with people, because that's where things get complicated and where you can really get into trouble. Kept to first dates and real conversations, dating stays light-hearted and fun, which is exactly what it should be.
Lots of first dates isn't a verdict on your worth — it's the process working. It's the same honesty I get into in why I can't date like I did 15 years ago. If this resonates, you can watch my dating playlist here.