Let me tell you the story of my first-ever online date, from Hot or Not back in 2004. You think today's apps are bad? Back then all you had was a single picture — no swiping, no photo dumps. One headshot, and you clicked "hot" or "not."
One picture, one bad surprise
I clicked "hot" on a girl with what I thought was a pretty headshot and started messaging to set up a date. This was in Columbia, South Carolina, fall 2004 — I was a 20-year-old sophomore living in an apartment with three friends. Then, right before the date, she put up a new picture, and I had a feeling things might not match what I'd pictured. But I'd already scheduled it, so off I went.
"Keep driving, keep driving"
I drove 20 minutes to pick her up and take her to Ruby Tuesdays — because that's how I rolled in 2004. As I pulled up, my whole mind was screaming "keep driving, just go home, don't do it." If I could do it over, I'd have floored it. But I'd said I'd go through with it, so I did — and honestly, the only upside is that I've got this story 22 years later.
Surviving dinner on Pulp Fiction quotes
My ego was destroyed. I was terrified my friends had grabbed a table to watch. I wasn't even present — I was performing, cracking myself up with one Pulp Fiction quote after another that she didn't get ("mmm, this is a tasty burger"). I just wanted it to be over. I took her back to her parents' house and, trying not to send mixed signals, told her plainly I wasn't looking to see her again, and drove off.
I got home and told my friends, who were bent over laughing — "you should have kept driving, man." I know, I know. Next time. The good news is I just had an online date a week ago and it went a whole lot better. If you want more stories like this, you can watch my life playlist here.