On January 8, 2023, your girl is at the studio again, and once again our mats are next to each other, and we're talking as much as we can. Today there's a little something different, though, because I also apologize for running out early and not talking to her more last time. She says it's fine, no big deal. And I've resolved that from now on, I'm going to linger and talk to her after every single class if she's open to it.
The five-hour workshop I didn't plan for
I really get tested on that resolution today, because it turns out Emily's having a five-hour yoga workshop after the 10 a.m. yoga class this morning, and the Yoga Crush girl is staying, and I didn't plan for this. I really want to just stay here and do this entire workshop and spend the whole day with her. But that would mean dropping the whole day with my family.
Not that I have any concrete plans with my family, but my wife is definitely going to wonder if something is up that I suddenly, with no warning, decide to go to an all-day five-hour yoga workshop. She's probably not going to be very happy with me not giving her any advance notice and just sticking her with the kids all day.
One of those decisions
So even though I'd really like to stay for this workshop, I feel like this is one of those decisions. If I decide to stay with this workshop and spend the rest of the day with this girl, then that's saying to the universe, okay, I'll just drop my family at any time to hang out with this girl. And that seems like I don't know her well enough, at a minimum. All other things aside, I don't know her well enough to really even make that choice. But I'm right on the edge.
I leave feeling like I'm really missing out on a fun day and having a ton of time to really get to know this girl properly, and who knows what would happen after that. I do feel really good about myself, though. Despite this temptation that I've completely brought upon myself, I do really love my family and my wife so much that I'm still loyal when I have every opportunity to stray, potentially, in my mind at least. And I'm really proud of myself for saying no to this. This might be the choice of something that is less fun and less satisfying in the short term, but I'm thinking this is going to be the better long-term choice.
Thinking the drink through
I've learned to try and, like with Alcoholics Anonymous, think the drink through. And in the brief amount of time I have to consider whether I want to do this workshop all day or not, I just can't see things going as smoothly for my life if I decide to just do this all-day workshop. So I go home feeling kind of righteous, like I made the right decision. But I also go home feeling sad, like I really wish I would have stayed for the workshop, wondering what I'm missing out on, wondering who else she's having fun with and getting to know there.
And now I still don't have her phone number or her last name, but I'm starting to wonder every day whether I should push forward and ask for that. Whether she wants me to, whether that's a good idea or not. Should I try and get to know her better as a friend, go out to lunch with her or something? Or what if she makes me an offer to get in the car or come back to her place right after yoga class?
Why I really went home
I went home today because I was scared that if she did offer to come right to her house after hanging out doing yoga for five hours, and her girlfriend's not in town, I'm pretty sure I would have said yes. So I figured it's much safer to say no to spending five hours together than it is to do that and then try and say no if there's any other offer. It's the same line I keep coming back to in the rest of my yoga crush, her girlfriend, and the line I won't cross. I'm not sure where this is going to go. I am excited to find out, and this is lighting up the energy in all of my life.
I love how alive I feel
I love how alive I feel. I feel the opposite of dead. I feel so alive and so full of life energy. I feel like this is just animating me. I feel like I'm moving across all areas of my life, including my work. I've started this new crypto channel, and this is starting to get some momentum, and I feel like this little yoga crush is helping get the momentum into my crypto channel. I feel like my life is really on fire, and I love how it's going right now. If you want to follow how the rest of this plays out, you can watch more of these stories in my Dating playlist.