My friends, here's the easiest meditation technique I've found after trying so many different techniques. What I do is I go to bed about an hour before I really need to fall asleep, which for me is about 10 p.m. in the evening. Then I don't have to wake up until 7 a.m. I let my meditation surprise me. I've found that by doing all different types of meditations during the day, it actually makes it much harder for me to get into meditation. Once I'm out of bed, I am ready to go. Once I go to sleep, then I'm in a good spot to meditate.
Since meditation relies on and works best getting out of the beta brainwaves of thinking and action, and getting down into those alpha and theta and delta brainwaves, I like to do my meditation before, during, or after sleep. It's fun because I don't know exactly when it's going to happen. What I do is I get in bed with my meditation, and I wake up at about 10 p.m. every night. If I'm tired, I'll fall right asleep then. If not, I'll slip into this meditative state for about an hour or so.
How My Nights Actually Go
Then I get up and I go sleep in the bedroom with my kids. They are 7 and 4. They want me in there at night in case anything happens. For example, if one of them rolls out of bed or something, they don't have to scream and get into a fuss. I'm right there to help them. That's what I usually do most nights. I often end up sleeping in bed, and I'm kind of getting into this really meditative state very easily with no stress. I love it.
Other nights, if I'm not too sleepy, I'll get into that meditative state right away before I go to bed. Other nights, I fall asleep right away with my wife. Then I wake up half asleep and go into the bedroom with my kids. Then I will wake up sometimes at about 3 or 3:30 in the morning. My mind will be ready to go. I'll have about an hour of meditation then. I'll wake up, but I won't be constantly thinking. I'm kind of in that alpha meditation state. I just lay there and breathe, or let whatever thoughts come and go, pass through, and follow lines of thinking. Then I'll often fall asleep. If I wake up at like 2, 3, or 3:30, I'll fall asleep often an hour or two later. Then I'll wake up well rested at about 7.
The last way it happens is I get in bed, immediately fall asleep, and wake up at maybe about 5 or 6 a.m. Then I have my meditation right at the edge of waking up. In my experience, this has made lucid dreaming very easy and consistent too, because when I do my meditation practice, sometimes I'll fall asleep and then I'll lucid dream in that state.
Why Forcing It Never Worked for Me
After testing all kinds of different meditation techniques, many of them felt like trying to force it, and it wasn't really enjoyable. Many of them worked. I also like doing yoga. If you find doing any kind of meditation is difficult, try doing some yoga. I do yoga about an hour every day, and I find that's a very effective meditation technique as well to get the mind and the body melded together.
I also go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting every day, and it's a practice of sitting there and listening to other people, getting into what they're saying, and getting out of myself instead of thinking. Eight and a half years ago, when I first went to Alcoholics Anonymous, I found meditation, which is referenced in step 11, to be very frustrating. It was something I couldn't hardly even try to do. My mind would just race so much, and I found it really aggravating. If you've struggled to find some meditation techniques you enjoy, I hope this experience will be helpful for you, because getting a nice set meditation practice is really beautiful and makes all the rest of my life easier.
The Way We Were Designed to Rest
Doing the meditation, just going to bed early basically and letting it happen naturally, I think is the way. I've come to believe we've normally been designed to do meditation this way, because prehistoric humans, according to our mainstream of science, which I don't always agree with, but on this particular point, used to go to bed when it got dark and then wake up in the middle of the night. If you think in farming terms, you'd check on the livestock and wake up a little bit during the middle of the night, then go back to sleep and wake up at dawn. I find sometimes my body wants to do exactly that.
Doing it with a group helps too, especially at the end of yoga, when you lay there for the final resting pose. That can get into a good meditation, and sitting and listening to a bunch of other people talk can be a great meditation too. So if you thought meditation was hard, or it's scary, or you can't do it, it's super simple. An AA meeting, or some kind of a meeting where you listen to people and you're there to help each other, 12 step recovery. It could be a church group. And yoga, yoga is extremely effective. Then combine that, go to bed early, and let the meditation happen. It's so easy. If you'd like to see more of how I put all of this into practice day to day, you're welcome to follow along with my Life playlist, which I share here on my new Jerry Banfield recovery channel.