Welcome to my telepathic communication for beginners course, filmed with no notes, no prepared presentation, just an idea in my head of what is going to come out. This is so exciting, because my awareness of telepathic communication is one of the things that has helped a lot with my recovery as an alcoholic. It has helped me feel connected to everybody around me. It helps me feel loved and understood. It helps me make deep connections with people, and it helps me with every single aspect of life. It is really helpful.
I am going to talk to those of you who are a bit of a skeptic and looking for proof. I will help you see your own telepathic abilities. I will help you understand, in a basic sense, how telepathic communication works. And I will help you be more successful with the telepathic communication you are already doing.
If any of this speaks to you and you want to go deeper with me on it, the best way to work with me on this today is to join the Jerry Banfield Family, where we can keep the conversation going together.
Telepathy and the skeptic
First, telepathy, or telepathic communication. For those of you who are skeptics or a little questioning, I have a neighbor who is a psychologist, and I talked with him. He says, well, I do not know if there is scientific proof to whether it exists or not. From my point of view, telepathy is something I consistently experience. From my point of view, there are people who know about telepathy and use it, and there are people who essentially have their eyes closed to its existence.
I will give you an example of this. Let us say you and I are standing outside talking, and you have had your eyes closed your entire life, or maybe at some point growing up you closed them. I am telling you, look, it is a beautiful sky out there. There is a sun that is shining down. There are birds in the sky. And you say, I do not see any proof of it. I say to you, well, open your eyes and you shall see the proof. It is right in front of you. I say to you that if you will simply open your eyes, you will see the sun. You will see the birds. You will see the sky. And you tell me I do not need to open my eyes, because I do not see any proof, and therefore there is none.
The same thing kind of goes with telepathy, except it is about opening your mind. If you think that, oh, there is no proof for telepathy, or I do not know if it exists, that is actually blocking you. It is the same as having your eyes closed. It is blocking your ability. You are blocking yourself from using it.
Even if you just switch your mind to a thought like, well, maybe there is telepathy, or it is certainly a possibility, and if it exists I would like to experience it, that is a pretty safe viewpoint. You are not just totally agreeing with me right up front, but you are open, at least, to the idea that if it is there, you are in a place where you can say, maybe there is telepathy, maybe there is not. If it does exist, I would like to experience it and see the proof of it. When you are in that state, you are in a place of, I do not know, and I would like to find out. Your curiosity will then bring you all the proof you are looking for.
Telepathy is how we are born
I will explain it in another way that will help it make a lot of sense. Telepathic communication is actually what we are used to, what is normal, and how we are born into this world. One of the big frustrations that children and babies have is the adults' frequent lack of engagement in conscious telepathic communication.
We are immortal souls. We are spirit. We are eternal. And we go into that every night. This body and this physical existence is kind of like a dream our soul is having. Our souls communicate normally via telepathy. It is only during this dream of being in a physical form that we think we revert to using words and body language to communicate, when really we started off with telepathy. The people around us often were not successfully receiving our telepathic communications, although we were receiving theirs. As babies we used words and body language so that the people around us, who had often turned off their awareness of telepathic communication, would be able to understand us.
You will find the most easy and smooth telepathic communication will often come with a child, because children still are very much in the telepathic world. You will notice children communicate very well with each other, even though they do not appear like they should. Even though their words are often very simplistic, or they do not know the words, they will still seem to often communicate very successfully with each other, better than adults in some instances.
The proof you already have
You might be wondering, okay, if there is telepathy, how do I see some proof of it in my life? Let me help you see that you have already got a whole bunch of proof for it. Have you ever been thinking of someone before, and they texted you, or called you, or showed up right in proximity to you as you were thinking about them? That has happened to almost all of us at some point. In fact, it happens to me frequently.
The most powerful example, where you will see this happen, is when you had not seen someone, or talked to someone, or heard from someone in a while, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, you both either text or call each other at the same time. This happens frequently with people we are connected with, like our parents, our children, our spouses. It often happens, and we take it for granted. That is telepathy.
For example, I have often picked up the phone to call my mother at the exact moment she was calling me. And the same thing with my brother, the same thing with my wife. If you look at the statistics, what is the probability of you, at the exact same second, picking up the phone during an hour that has 3,600 seconds in it? The odds of you picking up the phone and literally being ready to hit dial, and the other person having called you already, the odds of that are almost zero. And how often has that happened to you in your life? That has happened to me a bunch of times, where I have literally had the phone in my hand and been ready to text someone, and they sent me a message. Sometimes there had been no communication at all for a period of time, a day, even sometimes weeks or months. That is proof that there is communication happening that is not taking place by words, and not taking place by body language.
A definition of telepathy
I might start with a definition of telepathy. If you are wondering, alright, what is telepathy? Basically, I am calling telepathy communication that happens direct mind to mind, where there are no words, there is no body language, and there is nothing else in the physical world that is indicating communication. That is what is happening when you are going to call somebody and they are already calling you.
Physics has given us proof of this possibility by things like some of these subatomic particles that are actually paired. They communicate with each other, and they can communicate at any distance. I forget exactly what the name of them is, but there are paired particles that our scientists have found, that essentially are linked directly to each other, regardless of time and space and location.
You could say, coincidence. However, coincidence to me is like having your eyes closed to what is happening. Of course, if you just looked at statistical probability, at some point you would think that, okay, if I am calling people and they are calling me all the time, at some point, just by luck alone, we are going to happen to call each other at the same time. But if you consider how many seconds are in an hour, there are 3,600, and the odds of you calling each other within the exact same second are almost zero.
Actually, the phrase coincidence means to perfectly come together. If you look the definition up, coincide means to occur at the same time, to correspond in nature, to correspond in position. Coincidence is a remarkable occurrence of events without apparent causal connection. Look at that definition again: without apparent causal connection. If you cannot see the causal connection, that does not mean it does not exist. If you write things off as coincidence, you are also writing off your ability to perceive the reason.
I do not look at anything as coincidence today, because I am aware of things like telepathic communication. While something looks like coincidence if you have got your eyes closed, if you have got your eyes open, it makes perfect sense. There is not a mystery. There is no lack of causality. We are actually engaging in telepathic communication.
Outside of time and space
While I am doing this, both while I am actually doing it and after I am done doing it, and even before I have done it in the first place, we are communicating. Now that might be a bit too much for beginners, but the important point to take is that telepathic communication is not limited by time or space. Telepathic communication, direct mind to mind communication, is working on a level that is outside of time and space.
Therefore, you can actually communicate in the past telepathically. You can communicate forward telepathically. And that is how we are creating the entire world like this. Your perspective will change as you age. Children are often very open to telepathy, and then there is a closing at certain points, and then often there is a reopening.
How telepathic communication actually works
Now let me explain a bit about how telepathic communication works. We already have a definition of it: it is communication that does not include any observable phenomenon. No words, no text messages. It is communication that is directly non-physical, you might say. Telepathic communication works a lot like verbal communication in the sense that there is a sender and a receiver. You can look at it like this. It may not be exactly like that in an absolute sense, but it helps to look at it this way.
If there is a sender and a receiver, then when I send you a telepathic message, it is also up to you whether you want to receive that message or not. So I can send a telepathic message to you all day, but if you are closed to receiving it, you will not hear it. In fact, if you are obsessed with verbal communication, constantly focused on verbal communication, and your mind is closed to telepathic communication, you will often block out a lot of the telepathic communication that comes to you in the forms you are not used to receiving it in. There is also a lot of telepathic communication you are already in the habit of receiving, and I will explain how that works and why people can say the same words and yet there is a completely different meaning. That is because of the telepathic communication behind the words.
Someone asked whether neuro-linguistic programming works when people are not in the same room as each other. With telepathic communication, that is what is really cool. It is non-physical. You can communicate across any distance, and telepathic communication is often done directly through images and feelings.
Sending and receiving
So here are the basics of telepathic communication. First, there is sending and receiving. In order for successful telepathic communication to happen, you must have open or active sending and open receiving. Therefore, if either of those is not happening, nothing gets through. For example, if you are open, but whoever you are open to is not communicating, then just like talking, you will not get anything. And if whoever you are sending something out to is not open to receiving, then they will not receive anything.
Some of us have used that basis to say, well, there is no telepathy, because if I can just think of something and send it with my mind, why can't anyone receive it? Well, two things. First, if people do not want to receive your telepathic communication, they can block you out, ignore you, or pay attention to something else. And the second thing is that telepathic communication works by the level of emotional intensity you send it with.
For example, my daughter and I have tested out our telepathic communication a little bit while playing a game. We were playing Candyland. I said, I am going to pick the card up, I am going to think of what I see on it, and I want you to tell me what you see, what I see on this card. And my daughter was able, disproportionately, or more than random chance would allow, to pick out the card I drew. It was more than just luck. In Candyland there are multiple colors, and sometimes we were able to hit streaks where she would just guess it correctly.
However, that is the kind of telepathic example we might think of, but it is not actually a very good example of telepathy, because the emotional intensity is not there. The more emotional intensity that comes with a telepathic message, the more clear the communication is. That is why you are often drawn to certain people. It is because of the emotional intensity they are communicating with. That communication will often come out in words, but the words themselves, if you just take the words, are often not significant. If you put the words down without the telepathic intent behind them, which is hard to separate, the words themselves will not be that special.
It is the energy behind the words
When you think about some of the great speakers you might have heard in your life, you will notice that it is not so much the words they used, but the feeling that was behind the message, and that is something communicated telepathically. In my experience, if you are drawn to listening to me, for example, what you are really drawn to is the energy I put this out with. It is not so much the words I use, it is the energy, the telepathic sending I am doing behind the words. That is what you are really receiving, and that is what produces the response within yourself.
Let me give you a great example of this, to contrast it with my daughter playing Candyland. If you just try to do something telepathic without strong emotion, especially if there is some skepticism, you may think it does not work. For example, if you tell your friend, look, what am I looking at on my phone right now? There is no emotional charge, you do not really care, and so the telepathic communication may not be successful.
Now let me give you an example of when this communication happened for a friend of mine, and his wife, and their son. Even if you do not think you are telepathic, when there is very strong emotional intensity, it will go straight through into your mind. Everyone is telepathic, but even if you do not think you are, or you do not pay any attention or have any conscious awareness of it, strong emotion breaks through.
The mother who heard her son
My friend had an infant child who, thankfully, is doing very well today, as you will hear after this story. They put the child down in the crib according to the doctor's recommendations, on his back, and the mother was washing dishes. She had just put the child to bed, and the child had been vomiting up the breast milk he had been fed, and the child's airway was blocked. The child was suffocating to death while the mother was washing the dishes.
Now, the child's ordinary telepathic communication, without much level of feeling, might not have been heard. However, the child communicated at maximum frequency: help me please, I am dying right now. And his mother, in the kitchen, while she was washing dishes, all of a sudden had the thought come into her head, I should go check on my son right now. Even though there was absolutely no objective reason. She did not hear anything, she was in another room, she did not see anything, and she had just put the child to bed. Logically, there was no reason she would have gone to check on her son again in that particular scenario.
There is no coincidence here. There is no way she would have done that. She was in the middle of doing something. Why would she stop washing the dishes and go randomly check on her son unless she had received a telepathic communication directly from her son to her mind? She stopped washing the dishes, she went in, and she saved her son's life. By turning him over and helping him clear his throat, and then taking him to the emergency room, everything turned out okay with him, and now he is growing up successfully. That is an example of successful telepathic communication.
You might not think of it that way, but that is exactly what happened. You could call it the mother's instinct. Well, the mother's instinct triggered because the child sent out a very strong message: help, mom. And the mother received that message and said, I am going to go help my son, even though the rational mind would have said there was no reason to. We often write off things like telepathy and say, oh, that was just my instinct or my intuition, when really we are mentally connected to the entire universe. We always have intuition. I am calling it telepathy, but you could call it intuition. You could call it guidance from God. You could call it whatever you want to. The point is to get at that energetic level of connection with the universe. That is what you are really seeking to get into.
Communicating with babies and children
Someone asked whether they can telepathically communicate with their eight-month-old daughter even though she cannot talk. I am sure you already are telepathically communicating with her. I was very aware of communicating directly with my own daughter when she was a baby, because that is the only kind of communication you have with a baby. One reason we are often drawn to children is that we really like the telepathic communications that are coming out of them. Children come in with so much love, and they are radiating that love out. That is the telepathic communication that most babies especially, and many children, are sending: this radiating love and joy.
The reason we are really drawn to babies is not because they are so cute or because we just like them. It is because we feel what they are sending out. We feel the unconditional love that those babies especially, and children, are sending out. And what I have found is that I can intentionally cultivate that in myself and send it out, and I get the same kind of reaction out of many people that children do.
The purpose of telling you this is to help you understand how much power you have in what you communicate. I used to watch how people would react to children, and I would get kind of jealous. I would think, I want people to react that way to me. And what I see today is that if I communicate telepathically the way children communicate, I get that same kind of reaction. That is now the reaction I get. Where attention goes, energy flows.
Consciousness is not imprisoned by the body
Someone in the conversation noted that instinct and intuition are a delta brainwave level of communication. We think of things happening within the brain, so to speak, but really consciousness is creating this whole everything in our lives. Some of us think that the physical is creating the mental, but in my belief the mental is actually driving the physical. Your consciousness, your self, your soul created this body. You thought this body into existence. And when this body ceases to operate, you will continue to be in existence, uninterrupted by the body passing.
While brains have certain functions that they perform, the communication we are working with is actually more from our true selves. It is even observable with scientific instruments. However, it is not restricted to our bodies. Our communication is not restricted at all to our bodies, because we are talking about non-physical communication, which is getting back into who we really are. Our consciousness is not imprisoned by our bodies. Our consciousness is choosing to focus in our bodies at this particular time.
If you cut off your sensory input, you will become more sensitive to all the other things your consciousness is aware of. This body and this self are kind of like a big bright light, where you cannot see the stars very well when the sun is out. But when you dim it, which is what happens when you go to sleep, you dim the light of this physical existence, and now you can see all the stars that are out there and all the other realities and possibilities.
So telepathy is also about getting connected with who you really are as a telepathic being, as a non-physical being of soul, of consciousness, who has chosen to have this physical existence, and who has always known how to do telepathy. The proof for that is in how you experience sleep every night. You must still be alive when you are asleep, but you do not remember it.
In fact, this life is kind of like a dream that you fall asleep into when you come out of your sleep. I get a feeling when I'm going to sleep that in some ways I'm dying. I'm letting go of this body completely and I have no idea what I'm going into, but going to sleep is really like waking up into who I really am.
Someone shared with me, "I have so many good memories and it hurts me thinking about them, whether I'm in their lives or not." I understand that. So let's talk about some blocked telepathic communications, and you will figure that out.
Your Ideas Create Your Reality
Remember, your ideas create your reality. So if you don't think telepathy exists, you will see proof of that. If you don't think you can communicate telepathically, you won't see the obvious proof that you are. It's just like the example I gave with my eyes closed. If you close your eyes and say, "I don't see anything," and somebody says, "Open your eyes and you'll see it," and you say, "I know it's not there. It's definitely not there. I don't see anything. There can't be anything because I don't see it." And somebody says, "Open your eyes." And you open your eyes. Whoa, there's a lot of stuff here.
It's up to you if you choose to open your eyes or not. I'm sharing this so that you know you have a choice to open your eyes or not. And if you choose to keep your eyes closed, that's up to you. That's okay. It's great to have all of us thinking differently. That's what makes the world interesting. Can you imagine how boring telepathy would be if we all thought the exact same way, and we had the exact same memories and the exact same things to think about? That would be hell. What makes this life interesting is that all of us have all these different realities and different ideas of things.
Why Do We Speak With Our Mouths?
I'll give you another example. Why are you talking with your mouth open? Well, a lot of us are focused and in the habit of using verbal communication. In this physical reality we've created, we've also generally agreed that we will use words through verbal communication, and we're in the habit of doing that.
I'm sharing this way because a lot of us are prepared to receive the entire message, the words and the big picture, through telepathy. A lot of us are prepared to receive in this certain way. For example, your house has a mailbox or a mail slot on it, and your mailman puts the mail in the space you expect to receive it. Now, if the mailman went around the back of your house and threw the mail into your backyard, you'd be like, "What the hell are you doing? I expect you to put the mail in the mailbox, because that's where I know to look for it and that's where I expect to receive it."
Do you expect me to deliver this message through all these tones of voice, and therefore I deliver it that way? However, if you expected me to deliver this message purely non-physically, and you were prepared to receive it, I would deliver it that way. And this case that I'm talking about will be most powerful when you're dealing with someone who's disincarnated, who's left the physical body behind or stopped dreaming the dream of the physical body.
Communicating With the Dead
That's what's really cool about telepathy, and this is how I've gotten into telepathy a lot: communicating with the dead. Once you realize the validity and the actions of telepathy, you realize that you can communicate with anyone, living or dead, directly, mind to mind. And that is what's helped me a lot to, for example, deal with my dad passing. Once I opened my mind to the direct telepathic communication, I'm able to communicate anytime the spirit of my father is open to having a back-and-forth conversation. It can happen.
And that's what's really cool. That's happened a bunch of times in the last seven years since my father has passed. As I opened my mind to the back-and-forth communication, and my father's mind was open, it was my mind that was closed. Once I opened my mind, my father was right there with messages of love and support for me. My mind had to open in order for me to receive it. You shall not receive that which you reject. For example, if you tell the mailman, "Look, I don't want any mail in this mailbox," then, depending on where you live, the mailman probably won't put any mail in your mailbox. So if you shut yourself off mentally and you say, "I don't want to know anything about you or what you're thinking," then you will block it from coming in.
That state results in a feeling of disconnection. It results in a feeling of being alone. For example, when my family just went out of town last weekend, I did not miss them the way you would think of feeling distant from somebody. I felt like I was there with my family, because the mental connection was just as strong as when they're physically here. Even though I was not physically near them, I felt their presence all around me, and I felt my presence all around them. So I didn't feel like there was any separation, because our mental connection is so strong. And I'm grateful that through my father passing, I reached out so much with my father that it's only logical: if you can communicate telepathically with the dead, well, I'm sure it works better with the living.
Reincarnation and the Constant Cycle of Birth and Death
Someone asked, "Do you believe in reincarnation?" Every day when I fall asleep is kind of like dying in this physical existence and going off somewhere else, maybe my true self, you'd say. And every time I come back in, it's like a reincarnation. In fact, our bodies are going through a constant state of birth and death. There are dead cells I'm carrying around all over this body right now. Meanwhile, there are cells being born all over this body right now. Some of this body is dead and most of the body is alive. Therefore, this body is in a constant process of birth and death, birth and death.
There are some funny accounts. I've been listening to the book Seth Speaks, which has sharpened some of my conscious knowledge of this. Seth talks about how some people, who are really spirit entities that are so focused, but we'll just say people for simplicity, some people are so used to being sick and so identified with this physical existence that upon death, the new spirit body they immediately create is also sick. And they end up at a spiritual afterlife hospital, where they remember that they're not sick, remember that they have created the sick body of their own free will, and remember how to let go of the sick body and be back in a fully functioning body. That's just funny to me.
The soul is immortal. It doesn't die. It constantly lives. It constantly evolves and grows and changes. Death is kind of just an ideal that we've set on this physical plane. In spiritual terms, there is no death, because there is constant change and growth, and therefore all there is is life. All there's ever been is life. All there ever will be is life. Death is more like getting lost and forgetting who you are. So one might argue that being born into this physical existence is more traumatic than dying and getting back out of it, so to speak.
Past Lives Happening All at Once
I have conscious memories now of past incarnations, where I was a soldier, a German in World War II. After that, I was a young black man in Detroit, and then I chose to incarnate into this particular existence. Really, those are all happening at the same time. I am doing all of those things at once right now. I'm focused on this particular picture and existence right this moment, but really all of it is happening simultaneously, because the past and the future are kind of just illusions. All things are happening presently. All pasts are ideas that happen now, and all the future is a realm of possibilities happening now.
Someone said, "I go to sleep at night but remember nothing until the morning." Many of us choose not to remember anything we go through during our sleep. For one, it's too much of a distraction, or it's too different to make it relatable. When I'm just coming out of my dream state sometimes, when I'm in between being woken up and dreaming, I often am able to remember very clearly whatever I was dreaming about. However, it kind of slips away as I wake up, because what I'm dreaming about is often very out there. I've remembered dreams, for example, of being disincarnated. And I get the feeling that my dreams are just as real as this existence. To me, this existence is just another dream that I am dreaming.
Essentially, most of us are asleep. We incarnate into this existence and kind of fall asleep at birth, but still remember a lot more. Then we kind of get into a deeper sleep as we get into our teenage years, and really forget completely who we are and that we're dreaming. Then some of us kind of wake up before we let go of this physical existence, through what we call death, more completely. And others of us, even after we've passed, will struggle to accept the truth of the passing. Some spirits will hold onto their body and they will be mourning their body for longer than the people in their life are mourning it. And some people who've hated their body will then be oddly drawn to it and really love it once they've passed.
One Mind, No Separation
The whole universe is one mind. And that to me is God: to see that everything is all one mind, and we are having a universal experience where you can't really separate me from you. That's where telepathy comes in. Truly, we are in a universe of one mind, and there's not actually any separation between my mind and your mind. So telepathy is really an acknowledgment of the universal mind, or God, and therefore what you are thinking about is not separated from what I'm thinking about.
Someone asked, "Doesn't deja vu come into play with this discussion?" It definitely does. I've had lots of deja vus in my life that were rationally unexplainable. I've come to a place that I'd never been, and I feel like I've already been there before and I'm doing it again.
Let me give some more insight into practical examples of telepathy. For example, whenever I talk to my wife, she seems to know if I'm talking about a girl I find attractive. I've paid careful attention to the language I use and the tone I use, and she's definitely picking up directly from my mind. She can tell how I feel about anyone I'm talking with.
She's so sensitive that she can tell whether I'm talking about somebody that sparks any kind of sexual energy in me or not. She can immediately tell it before I've hardly said anything, and I believe she can even tell it before I talk about it at all.
The conscious and the subconscious are not truly divided
Another practical example is that some of us divide things up into conscious and subconscious. But really, what you're conscious of is what you're choosing to be conscious of. What at some points in your life may have been subconscious is now conscious, and at other points what was conscious is now subconscious. Take driving. I can now drive without almost any conscious attention, when at one point in my life it took my total conscious focus in order to drive. Now I can just decide I want to be somewhere, be totally mentally distracted, and arrive there with no issue.
So there's not a true division between the conscious and the subconscious mind. The subconscious is really what we're not focusing on, and the conscious is what we're choosing to focus on. I choose to focus on those telepathic communications, so now they are made conscious to me because I choose to focus on them. What I don't choose to focus on are a lot of the physical things. I often pay no attention to what people are wearing, or to status symbols. Some people are very fixated on status symbols, and maybe I notice them on a subconscious level, but consciously I don't pay attention most of the time to what purse a woman has, what shoes a guy is wearing, or what car somebody's driving. I'm paying attention to the telepathic communication.
In that sense, I'm ignoring a lot of the things other people would look for. I'm ignoring what kind of clothes this person wears or how they're talking. I don't pay any attention to that stuff. I'm looking for the telepathic connection, for where our minds are meeting. I'm looking for the most interesting parts of the connection with somebody mentally. When somebody's talking to me, I'm barely listening to the actual words. I'm listening to the full emotion and the full mental message about them, which is what they're really sending me. I often can get pictures in my mind of people's lives and various things they've gone through, even if they haven't told me about them. Sometimes they'll tell me about those things later. But I seek to take in the whole energy and experience of a person when I'm with them. That's what I'm doing on a conscious level, and I'm not paying attention to a lot of these other things.
And yes, I'm a big believer in setting an intention. When I drive, I set a conscious intention to arrive there safely. Especially in things like driving, it is very important to be conscious with your decisions.
Anxiety is subconscious until you make it conscious
Jacey said, so anxiety is subconscious, and I need to learn. Anxiety can be subconscious until you make it conscious. Once you make things like anxiety conscious, you will realize that it is changeable. If I called how I feel anxiety, I would feel anxious, because at one point I had subconscious anxiety. I had all this fear and this energy that wasn't being managed. Once I got conscious of that, I was able to reprogram my words and reprogram my whole way of thinking about it.
Some people say, oh, I get so anxious. Someone might, if I put you in my box, think, oh my God, you get really anxious before you do these live talks. But I don't see it that way. In my experience, I have a massive amount of energy that flows in preparation for these talks, and that is how I look at it. Therefore I don't experience anxiety. What I experience is a rush of energy that is exciting to me, energy that I'm going to telepathically give or send to you. So I simply don't have the experience of anxiety anymore unless I think I do. And if I think I do and I detect the thought consciously, then I simply reprogram it. I say, okay, I see that I'm thinking I'm anxious right now, and I'm going to change this into a thought. I'm grateful I'm full of energy right now. I control and focus this energy, and now I'm no longer anxious.
And yes, Travis, I'm proud of you for being able to spot the resistance, because what will happen when you're hearing something like this is that your deepest or subconscious self will get really excited, like, yes, come on, let's get into this. But your mind will often try to block things out of fear or out of habit. A lot of us put up these psychological barriers because we like to go around thinking that our thoughts are private and that people can't tell if we like them. That was my whole high school and college. I blocked out, or struggled to see, whether a girl liked me, because I told myself all these negative stories and those stories blocked me from being able to see. Now I like being able to see if someone likes me, if someone's attracted to me, or if someone's got a lot of love to give me. I like seeing that, and I'm very open to seeing it.
Telepathy is one mind having two thoughts
Telepathy is so tricky that we don't realize it's happening lots of times. When you look at how telepathy really works, you're thinking together with somebody. It's not that there's me and there's you and I'm sending you something. Really, on a deeper level, we are of one mind. We are thinking the same thing. What I now notice is that I'm drawn to certain thoughts with certain people. For example, I've worked with a lot of massage therapists, and there was one I worked with where the thought continued to cross my mind, I wonder how much she would charge to do sexual stuff. I see that those kinds of thoughts are a result of both of our thinking, because with most of the therapists I've worked with, that thought didn't cross my mind, and if it did, it didn't resonate or stick with that particular therapist. But with one particular therapist, that thought stuck. In getting to know her, it made sense, because of the life she was living. It sounded like she was willing to, and did, accept more money than just a non-genital massage, and then she could use that money to go buy drugs. So there was rational evidence of it.
I talked about that with a guy in AA who is very sensitive, and he said that when you are with someone, the thoughts you are thinking are not two minds. It's not two minds thinking two thoughts. It's one mind having two thoughts, expressed differently or often the same. When you're with someone, you draw certain thoughts out of each other.
Driving is one of the most powerful examples of telepathy
I'll give you a good example of this. When you're driving, there is almost no communication at all in the ways we're used to thinking of it. Now, some of you may put your fingers up, as I've done plenty of times, not lately but years ago, and engage in some non-verbal communication while driving. But driving is one of the most powerful examples of active telepathy, because there's almost no physical communication or words being exchanged. And yet, why does it happen that the same person who tailgates me for a little while quickly goes around me, but when they tailgate you, you get into a thing with them, and I don't? It happens because of telepathic communication.
I used to get into things with people while driving, and that's because I was open and thinking in a way to have a thing with somebody driving. By a thing, I mean running each other off the road, flicking each other off, thinking about reaching for my gun and shooting their car while they were driving, or having a truck driving next to me at 20 miles below the speed limit and backing the whole interstate up. I've experienced lots of things while driving because I was open and I was thinking that way. This goes back to the law of attraction. Since I was thinking that way, I attracted those circumstances and those people who were also thinking that way into my life, at which point we would think that way together. I used to attract the driver who was also driving crazy, and both of us, thankfully not actually running into each other, would encounter each other and have drama.
Today, since I am not willing to have drama with another driver, I am telepathically communicating to all the other drivers that this is a no-drama guy right here. I will not have drama with you. I don't care if you tailgate me, cut me off, or run me off the road. I'm not going to have driving drama with you. I will not give you more pain and suffering. That telepathic communication keeps the crazy drivers away from me, and it keeps the ones that come close from getting any closer or having an issue with me. Meanwhile, I watch, and you can tell the cars that are communicating with each other. It's as if one car is saying, come on, mess with me, and another car comes along like, I'm going to mess with somebody, and they both start messing with each other. Meanwhile, most of the rest of us who are driving see that those two were just right for each other, and those two on some level were asking for each other. The rest of us were not asking for that. When you realize the validity of telepathic communication, you realize the necessity of monitoring what you are putting out telepathically.
Some people are set up for very specific telepathy
I explained before that some people are so sensitive that they can easily do telepathic communication. I've seen two people do the number thing you just talked about. I was in the headmaster's office at my daughter's school, and I saw two people who'd known each other for a long time and worked together for a long time demonstrate that kind of telepathy. The headmaster said, I'm going to think of a number, and immediately the other guy said six. And he looked at him and said, you always know. They were so in sync, and their connection with each other was so open, that they could literally pick numbers off of each other's brain.
That said, some people are so sensitive and set up that way, but I personally have not seen my telepathy working that specific way currently. If you tell me to guess a number right there, I'm not interested in playing that game with you. You could say I'm not open to having a number-guessing telepathic game.
Telepathy Runs on Emotion, Not Words
I am focusing on sending you the love and the joy and the power that I feel. That is what I am sending out, and I am sending it out with a lot of emotion. I talked before about the example of the mother who all of a sudden stops doing her dishes and rushes in to save her son's life. Telepathy is at its least powerful when there is the least amount of emotion behind it. So if you say, think of a number in my head, and I don't know you, and we have no kind of connection, and you don't really care about the number and I don't really care about the number, then you could say the telepathic connection is weak. Although that is a relative way of looking at it. That is a relative reality.
Some people describe being on this level with a best friend, where sometimes it gets scary, and that illustrates exactly the thing I want to say next. When you are very well connected with someone, like I am with my wife, the level of telepathic communication is actually frightening. Like I was saying before, my wife knows if I am attracted to someone. As soon as I even start to talk about them, she can tell how attracted I am to them. And I can tell my wife's exact emotions that she is feeling. She does not have to say anything. I can feel how she feels as soon as she is next to me. When you get really connected with somebody, this can be kind of scary once you realize they are literally able to read your mind and you can read their mind, and therefore you cannot keep secrets from each other.
Trust When You Can Feel Everything
My wife trusts me because she can feel exactly what I am feeling. She knows that if I did something I felt was wrong, something that dishonored the agreements we made, she would feel it. So she does not have to do things like snoop on my phone. And in fact, when partners are doing things like snooping on each other's phones, that is often because something is already being felt underneath. I had a dream when my girlfriend was getting ready to cheat on me. I dreamed she was cheating on me, and I told her about the dream. I imagine that left her feeling pretty bad, but she still cheated on me anyway, and today I am grateful she cheated on me and moved on.
When you are really connected with someone, you can actually read their mind as long as both of you are open to it. A lot of times a fight in a relationship will go like this. You will be walking in feeling awful and you will want to put a good face on for your partner, but they will immediately see exactly how you are feeling, and you will feel kind of angry that you cannot hide from your partner. You will get defensive and create a fight, when really you were feeling horribly vulnerable that they can see you exactly as you are. Children are often very perceptive like this as well.
Putting Out the Vibe on Purpose
I consciously choose to put that vibe out, because that is what leaves me feeling the best, and that is the best I can give to others. When my daughter was in her class last year, I would go volunteer once a week, and some of the kids were drawn very strongly to my "I love you and you're so great" vibe. Some of these kids would treat me like they treat their parent. They would come running up to me and give me a hug and want me to spend the whole day with them. Some of them gave me really long hugs. It even got awkward sometimes, like a minute where they would just cling on to me as hard as they could. The teacher actually went as far as making a rule just for me when I visited, because a bunch of the kids would do that with me. They could feel my heart was open, and if you need a hug for a minute or two and you need me to just pour love out to you, then I am here, I will do that. The teacher made some rule about the kids not being able to hug me because they were going so overboard with it. I still did not care what rule the teacher made. I was going to hug whatever kid wanted to hug me. And that is beautiful to see, that kind of openness in the kids.
I notice the same thing in the way I interact with my neighbors. My neighbors consistently are nice to me, wave at me, and are happy to see me. I have good relationships with everybody in my life, because that is the vibe I communicate telepathically. I do not have to say anything.
You Can Shield Your Thoughts, But Vulnerability Is More Powerful
You can shield your thoughts from your partner if you would like to. However, in my experience, intimate relationships where I am fully vulnerable and my mind is fully exposed are the most powerful. It is also the scariest if you are not used to it. If you are used to having your own space and you are very controlling about what you want others to perceive, it can be very scary to realize that you are going to let someone directly into your mind, that they will know exactly how you feel about them, and that to some degree they will be able to read you.
A lot of us think in terms of details all the time, like they are going to read what number I am thinking about, or they are going to know the name of the girl I am thinking about, when really it is more the emotion than just being read. For example, if I am really turned on sexually and I am around my wife, it kind of does not matter how I got turned on. What she is reading is the active sexual energy. It does not matter if it came about because I went to yoga and there were lots of beautiful women around, or because I was just having a fantasy in my head, or because my body just normally gets turned on sometimes without any stimulation, mental or physical. That is what is really being read. It is not as much about getting phone numbers out of your head, although that is possible. It is more about reading your current emotional state and the feeling of your thoughts. That is what is communicated most easily telepathically, and that is what is most directly communicated to me.
Dreams, Gut Feelings, and Intuition
Each of us naturally has intuition and telepathy, and in our sleeping states we are most able to access these things. For example, I had a dream the day my daughter got into her school. It was a lottery system. I had a dream right before I got up that she had just been accepted. The first thing that happened when I got up was that my wife was all excited, and she said, Madeline just got into her school. And I said, I know, I just had a dream that she got into her school. That kind of thing is normal if we are open to it. As I said before, I had a dream where my girlfriend cheated on me, and she was actually thinking about cheating on me while I was having that dream. In that way, you can read your partner's thoughts.
That is what gives me strong motivation to take responsibility for my own thoughts and my own feelings. Because I know people can read my mind, it gives me strong motivation to focus my thoughts where I want them, instead of allowing them to drift into areas I do not want. Your gut and your intuition are your evidence of telepathic communication. Your gut and your intuition are giving you things that you should not physically know, things that are being directly communicated to you by somebody else. Now, some of us have our own things we are working through, and we may be pulling our feelings from somebody else in our life rather than reading a situation accurately.
Accountability and Changing the Agreement
I have been through the version of this where dreams of a partner cheating eventually shift into dreams of them being the one thinking about cheating, and it has been really interesting to witness. It is important to me that I am accountable to myself and my own conscience all the time. If I say I am going to be monogamous, then that is what I am going to do. And I also have the power to change that at any time. What I have come to believe is right is to modify your agreements with the person, if needed, before just breaking them.
Sexual Energy and Where Relationships Go Wrong
At the same time, one thing that is difficult for us telepathically is that a lot of us have sexual energy that is not flowing smoothly within us. It is wrapped up in shame. It is stuck in a dark corner of our minds. It is old. It is overemphasized. And it is just flowing all over the place. What often happens, at least for me, is that when I am with a group of people, often the sexual thoughts will crank up a degree. Depending on the group of people, the sexual energy will change. When I am out with the yoga class, depending on who is there, sometimes the sexual thoughts or energy will be flowing very strongly, and other times not so much.
That is an example of telepathic communication. If the people around you are not having enough sex and are wishing for more, then this is telepathically communicated. And if somebody is going around thinking all the time, I really want to have sex, then a person who is thinking the same way will be attracted to come together. That can be where relationships come in, and that can be where relationships go wrong. As I say, in my experience the most important thing in a romantic relationship is to make sure that you are having sex. Because if that stops and one person really wants to, then that is creating the opportunity to cheat, and it becomes very likely. A lot of us, instead of communicating about this with our partner, just go and act out, and all of a sudden everybody is upset, when really, telepathically, everybody knew it was coming. I saw a family member go through this, where they were not communicating, and they were not a team.
Eventually, the man ended up acting out and hooking up with a couple of other women. And yet, it seems to me the wife expected that to happen based on her behavior. If I could look into her mind, that was what she expected to happen, and that was how she wanted it to go down. She wanted to feel like she was the victim and that he did everything wrong, when really she did her part to push him away, to tell him to go sleep somewhere else. He started sleeping at his parents' house. Then she didn't want to be with him sexually anymore and wasn't paying any attention to that. From the way I see it, she was telepathically communicating to him that that was what she wanted. Maybe subconsciously, maybe not, I don't know.
We each pay attention to different things
You can absolutely pick this up, because each of us pays attention to different aspects of another person. For example, if I come into contact with somebody, they might be focused on what kind of shirt I'm wearing, what kind of shoes I'm wearing, and what kind of status symbols I have. Do I have money? Am I a good husband? They may be paying attention to those things. But what I may be paying attention to could be completely different. I often am paying attention to what kind of energy this person has. I'm picturing, what kind of partner is this person? How much fun are they? What kind of sexual energy do they have? What is their purpose in life? What are they feeling right now? What struggles can I identify with and help them with? In my experience, these things are being addressed telepathically when you are encountering someone.
So when someone runs into me and they're looking and interested in how much money I have, I'm telepathically letting them know I feel wealthy. If you take a look in my bank account, I do have some cash in the bank, and if you take a look at my credit report, I've got a lot of debt. On some level, they're able to perceive my level of wealth subconsciously. And in the same way, I'm able to perceive things. I can often spot people I could help, because I can spot various things in them, like, oh, you're probably an alcoholic, aren't you? Often I can spot that this person is an alcoholic even when they've hardly said anything to indicate it, because I'm kind of looking for alcoholics to help and work with in my life. I'm drawn to alcoholics. So when I'm encountering someone, I'm often checking them energetically. Is this person identifying with being an alcoholic? Often they will kind of energetically communicate that with me, although I may not be conscious of it right away.
The connection stays even at a distance
Even if you're not physically with someone, you are very much in some kind of link with them. This is most evident when you have a very strong connection with someone who is not physically around you. For example, when my family went out of town last weekend, I did not feel physically distant from them, because I felt so close to them that it felt like they were around all the time. I felt no mental distance from them.
This can also be evident if you're having a breakup with somebody. While your conscious mind may be focused on the separation, you still are energetically very much connected. For example, I know someone who's going through a breakup right now, and they are still very energetically connected with the person. What they're both putting out to each other is that kind of negative vibe. They're both putting that out and giving it back and forth, and then both suffering, from what I see, on account of it. And if you're thinking about somebody and you're feeling a lot of energy behind it, they're often thinking about you too, even if you're not physically around them.
You'll notice sometimes that your energy level around a particular person will spike, and it's often in proximity to their energy level spiking with you. Sometimes it's very temporary. About a month ago, I had this spike of energy around a girl I'd had a crush on in high school. The call to action for me was to be vulnerable and tell her that. I'd never told any of the girls in high school that I'd had a crush on them, and this was exercising me in vulnerability. I had this temporary energy spike and was thinking about her a bunch, and that manifested. I sent her a message and she sent me one back. I shared my experience in high school, and she shared an acknowledgement that she understood and hoped she hadn't caused me any harm or anything. Then that energy level subsided, and there has not been very much thought about her since.
You get what you think about all day long
On so many occasions, people feel as though they've manifested things into happening, whether it be getting out of a combat scenario safely or hooking up with single women. That is absolutely the truth as I see it. You get what you think about all day long. What I'm saying here is that what you think about is being communicated out to the rest of the universe telepathically, and that everyone else in the universe who is open to it is capable of receiving what you're thinking about.
That's why it's possible, for example, if you're single and you're really looking to hook up with someone, you'll be drawn to that if it's what you actually want. Now some of us, in our conscious mind, think, I'm single and I really want to hook up with someone. But on a deeper level, what we're really wanting is to suffer, to tell a story of how we're a victim, to be sad that nobody will hook up with us. What you're telepathically communicating is both what you're conscious of and what you may not be conscious of.
When I used to be single, I didn't realize that I was putting out this vibe that I wanted to suffer as a single man and complain about how women weren't giving me what I wanted and how the world was bad. I was putting that entire vibe out telepathically. When I did not put that vibe out, it was very easy for me to attract single girls, hook up, mess around and have fun. As long as I was putting that vibe out, I was pushing them away. There are so many memories in my mind of single girls just all around, and the vibe I was putting out was: I want to want you, or I want you, but I don't feel like I can have you, so you probably want to stay away from me. What I was really wanting was to feel sorry for myself and struggle.
That's why it helps to really get deep down honest with ourselves about what I really, really want. You can see what you want by what you're talking about. If you notice you're complaining to your friends about something, is that what you'd like to experience? If you're complaining, oh man, boys are such jerks, they all cheat on you and are violent, or whatever you're saying, is that how you want men to be? Of course you're right that some men are like that, but you're also wrong that all men are like that. What's relevant is: which men do you want to come across? Which women do you want to come across? I like to come across people who are open to receiving the love I have in my heart.
What you put out is what walks toward you
Sometimes I'm surprised at who manifests. For example, there was a man outside of where I go get a massage once a week, and he was screaming at his phone. I don't know if somebody was on the other side, but he was cussing and screaming and sounded very distraught. In the past, I put out a vibe of, I'm afraid of you, I'm afraid you will hurt me or I will hurt you, and I'm going to defend and protect myself from you. When I would come across somebody in that state, we would have a thing. We would have an interaction based on the vibe I was putting out, if they were open to it. Sometimes, if they didn't want to get messed with, they would move on. But if they did want to get messed with, then we'd have our thing. I'd go out to get my gun out of the car at the bar, or whatever it was.
I'm glad I'm here today, because I used to put out that vibe of, I'm going to mess you up, you don't want to mess with me, I might hurt you and you might hurt me. Now I put out this vibe of, I'm going to love you and help you feel good, and I love myself and I feel great. What I find is that people who don't want to feel good, who don't want to be loved, who truly want to suffer and want to be miserable, will run away from me. They will not be able to stand to watch me. They'll find one conscious reason or another why, well, this guy is just full of crap, he's just rambling on, whatever it is. They will not be able to stand to listen to this at all.
I find this physically, too. That day, I got out of my car, put on my angel wings, and walked over close to this man, but not directly connecting with him, because I could sense he didn't want me to come over and give him a hug. I respected the vibe he was putting out of staying away from me, but at the same time I went where I needed to go and stood there, which he respected, because I was going where I needed to go because I needed to go there, not because of what he was doing. This man unplugged his phone from the charger and immediately walked off across the street without getting within 10 feet of me. He did not look at me at all and walked off. Because he was telepathically communicating, I want to be miserable, and I was telepathically communicating, I am at peace and I want to love you. And so he took his I-want-to-be-miserable self away from me, so he wouldn't get any of what I've got. From his point of view, he was protecting himself from my good vibes.
Then there's the other side of it: is it better to be sincere with a woman, or is it better to lie sometimes to make it work? That's a beautiful question. I used to read a lot of dating material when I was a teenager, and I have some thoughts on exactly that.
Honesty is always the best policy
Honesty is always the best policy, and here is the thing. Let's imagine you have a crush on somebody and they don't like you back, but they lie to you because they're tired of being single and they like to have sex even though they don't like you that much. So they lie to you and they hook up with you, and maybe they even become your partner. But they started from a place of not being happy, they continue to be unhappy, and now you're not happy either, because you had a crush on this person. What's wrong? What's wrong is they were dishonest with you. Instead of just being honest and being willing to potentially hurt your feelings in the short term, they didn't want to let you down. They wanted to get their needs met, and they just went with it anyway. Then five years later you have a kid and you're miserable together and you're wondering what happened.
If they'd simply been honest and said "you're not my type," you might have had your feelings hurt for a minute, but then you would have found somebody else that you wanted to have a crush on you. Because most of us who feel worthy and deserving of love will not crush on somebody who is not right for us. And as soon as we open our heart and say how we feel, if they reject us, generally, if it truly is not right for either person, we'll move on pretty quickly. My wife said she didn't want to be my girlfriend a couple of times, but I felt that she really did.
So it's always better to be honest, and to get into yourself and ask, what is my truth? My truth is I love my wife, and I love all of you, and I love this life. That's my truth. And anything besides that is a distraction or a lie that I'm not interested in. Therefore, if I start thinking judgmental thoughts about my wife, I see those are lies, and even if in the moment they might feel true, I know the truth is that I love my wife, and I pray to get back to the truth. So it's always better to be sincere.
The vibe underneath the words
It comes back to telepathic communication, though, because if you feel you are ugly, if you feel you're not worth dating, if you feel you're kind of a loser, you'll put that vibe out. So if you tell a woman, "oh, I love you so much, you're so beautiful," she hears your words, but she also receives the vibe of you not feeling good. What we often do is translate thoughts that are given to us personally. If I had to do this again, I would state this up front. Often telepathy works this way: we think we're thinking about something ourselves, but really what we're thinking about is a function of who we're in contact with.
I have certain things that I consistently think about while I'm around my wife, and when I'm not physically in her presence, I don't think about those things as much. For example, how to plan things out with the kids and all the stuff both of us think about is consistently on my mind when that is what I'm doing. And when I'm not focused on my wife, I'm thinking about other things. For example, when I'm out at yoga, I'm thinking about getting my body in shape. I'm thinking about who I can help. And I dip my mind over into "I hope my wife's having a good bedtime with the kids," but my primary focus is on the people I'm with. The thoughts I end up thinking in my head are often a function of the thoughts that the other people I'm with are thinking as well.
I can give a great example from my own dating. I used to date girls and I would say all these nice things, "oh, you're so beautiful," and so on. But what they really heard was: this is someone who doesn't believe they deserve to be in a happy relationship. This is someone who doesn't really like themselves. And what they would often translate was that they wouldn't like how they felt when I was around, and they wouldn't feel that crush on me, because I didn't feel it about myself.
Maybe it isn't you that's the issue
Someone in the community is feeling every word of what I'm saying. He says, "I've been single for three years, stuck on the same woman solely because she's the mother of my child. But after watching her go from man to man and going back to being single herself, I've started to realize maybe it isn't me that's the issue, but maybe it's her who's incapable of approaching my level of love and energy." With your thoughts, you will find a connection, and yes, I'm feeling that.
I'm talking with a woman right now who is externally very focused on the man she just broke up with. From my view, she's very attractive, and I've let her know, from my point of view, that she looks perfect and fabulous. I want her to be able to see herself the way I see her, instead of just how she sees herself with all of her defects. That's the compliment I frequently have to give out, to help others get a better perspective on themselves. She's focused a lot on missing this man, and from my view, I see that that's coming from a place of not feeling good enough herself.
Yes, it's normal to have some adjustments. But once you really see that when you're telepathically communicating you are really sharing out what you want, you see it differently. What she's communicated to this man at the deepest level is: I want you to test me, I want you to help me grow, I want you to help me improve, I want you to stop putting up with my bullshit. That's what she's really communicated to him. And he is giving her that now. She's experiencing some resistance, because of what she's been through, because of her behavior, and because of his lack of desire to experience more of that. He left. She's going through a lot of that heartache now, and I have a lot of empathy, because I've been in her position frequently.
I am also there to help her see: look, if this man is right for you, the only way he will come back is if you really love yourself, and to some degree forget about him. Love being with yourself. Take care of yourself. Change. Honor the message that he's sending you, that "I don't want to deal with you as you are, you need to grow and change." Honor that message, and make the changes according to it.
You either change or I'm out of here
I'm glad that my wife was ready to leave me. She sent me the message seven years ago: you either change or I'm out of here. She didn't say it in those exact words, but I got the message. She said, "I can't stand to be around you when you drink anymore." And I got the message from her that "you're going to be on your own if you keep acting like this." That message got me to where I was willing to do anything to make the adjustments. Then I gave her the message back: look, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be the best partner for you. And she tested me on that message.
Some of us think we can just change a little bit and immediately everybody will notice. But sometimes, on the deepest telepathic level, we have asked the people around us to give us a test, and we're often not conscious of some of the deeper things going on. Sometimes we've asked people, "look, I want you to test me." Imagine you were kind of like in a classroom together, planning out your life. You two are talking and you're so in love, and you know that that's eternal and unchangeable. And you two decide, look, you're playing a game. You know what would be fun? "I want you to fall in love with another man and leave me." And the other says, "really? That sounds like it'd be pretty rough. But yeah, I want to see if I can still love you through that." "Woo, that's going to be a tough test. Alright, I'll do it. You want to do it? I'll do that. Good, let's do it." That's often the kind of telepathic communication we're engaging in, on a level of "I want you to test me and help me grow and improve." And you can be conscious of those kinds of messages you're putting out.
I put out a message that I want people to help me feel good. I want people to show me how trustworthy I am. I want people to show me how amazing and how powerful I am. I put out a vibe that I want people to help lift me up, and I'll help lift them up. And I realize that sometimes that means I get tested in one way or another. Often, if you've gotten with a partner, they are somebody that on a spiritual level you have agreed to test each other rigorously.
The lesson may not be to hold on
It doesn't mean you have to hold on. For example, if she left you and she's been with a bunch of other men, it doesn't mean you have to get hung up on her. In fact, the lesson she may be teaching you is that there are lots of beautiful women in the world, and you don't have to get stuck on loving one. You can love someone else and be happy. The lesson may be: don't get hung up on the physical form. Appreciate all the different physical forms love can take. Be free to go love another woman.
The current woman that you are thinking and obsessing about, or the current man that you think you're at odds with who has broken up with you, may be giving you a very valuable lesson. When you open up to receiving that, you can see it clearly. I'm now conscious that my wife is here to help test me. When she talks, lots of times the telepathic communication I'm getting is "here's a little quiz for you, let's see if you pass this one." And I'm giving back, "here's a little quiz." Sometimes I test her, and I'm like, "here's a little quiz for you, let's see how you're doing spiritually."
Brady says, "I feel neglected and look like myself as a Pharaoh all the time. Maybe that's my wife doesn't believe in me when I tell her she's gorgeous, but believes my two best friends when they tell her she's beautiful and doesn't need to be so insecure and so hard on how she looks." Because my wife is gorgeous, not only externally but internally. What's so helpful is when you can have that kind of awareness. So Brady, if you're feeling neglected and you look at yourself as a failure, that's good if you can have that level of honesty now. That's your experience now. Sometimes my honest reflection is that I'm not in a good place right now. When my wife walked in yesterday, she could already see how I was doing.
Turning the Feeling Around
When someone close to me asks about how I'm doing, what they're really asking is: what are you going to do from here? A friend asked me how it was going, and I said, "I'm feeling kind of bad right now, and it of course has nothing to do with you, and I'm open to feeling better." I felt better within five minutes of saying that, and I felt good the rest of the day, aside from a moment when a friend gave me a little quiz.
The more connected you are with someone, the better they'll be able to spiritually quiz you or test you. And the more in the moment that test will feel like something negative: I can't believe they did this, or they said that, or why'd they do that, I don't understand. Now I'm conscious of the real communication behind that. It's a little test. If you really love me, whether it's a lover romantically or a friend or a family member, if you really love me, can you see past this little test I'm giving you? Can you pass this little test I'm giving you?
The most powerful thing is when you can see how you feel and you know, I don't want to feel neglected anymore. I don't want to see myself as a failure. I've felt like a failure a lot with my business online. And the most valuable thing that can come out of that is when you turn it around and you say, I hate feeling neglected, I hate feeling like a failure, now how do you want to feel? Take that energy and turn it. You hate feeling neglected and feeling like a failure. How do you want to feel? Well, I'd like to feel like a success. I'd like to feel like I'm connected and constantly cared for. Good. Now think about that all the time, and every single time your mind goes back to "I'm so neglected, I'm such a failure," ask: how do you want to feel? I want to feel connected. I want to feel cared for. I want to feel like a success. Good.
And you're not alone. I'm doing this with you at least probably a hundred times a day. My mind goes through that process. It goes into, well, this dude shouldn't be coming off talking about coincidence, isn't it coincidence? Switch it over. What do I want to talk about? What do I want to truly communicate? Well, this dude shouldn't have said that, I should just go mute his comment. What do you want to communicate? Who are you really? Well, I want to communicate that you can love people regardless of what they say to you. And if someone is truly in a negative space, and if you truly love and accept them, you will also feel joyous about walking away from them. I'm not saying you should just stick around and be abused by somebody. In fact, you will often feel better setting boundaries.
I Used to Think of Myself as a Monster
I had a good conversation about this with my wife. Let me give you an example with her. I used to think of myself as this monster who was ready to lash out and hurt people. That's how I used to think of myself, that at any moment I might snap, especially verbally and emotionally, telepathically, maybe physically, but not usually. And that was communicated to the people around me. In fact, some of the people around me wanted an external monster to blame their own feelings on, even my wife.
Some people will actually be attracted to that. You will find that the monsters attract monster haters and monster lovers. Your thoughts will so powerfully be communicated to those around you that you will attract people who both support it in all different ways. So my wife used to be in the habit of being afraid of what I would do next, setting up this expectation that I'm just going to ruin things. And it took a while for me to get to a place where I felt like that's not who I am. Who I am is someone who's trustworthy, who is dependable, who's honorable. And if I'm going to make some changes, I will do so honorably. I'm not going to suddenly surprise you with infidelity, or suddenly surprise you with something insane. I'm going to talk with you about what I'm thinking about and be open beforehand and make changes together with you in mind. I'm not going to suddenly chainsaw the couch, as I did one night.
Back when I drank, I often was kind of monstrous in the things I did. And after years of working on myself and getting myself to a place where I started to feel like I'm safe, I'm healthy, I'm having a fantastic day today. Once I got myself to a place where I felt safe, where I felt I'm not a monster, I am a love, I'm an absolute love and an angel on this planet, I noticed my wife was still in the habit sometimes of focusing on those monster thoughts.
Owning Yourself So You Can Set Boundaries
One day she was saying some of these things, and I was able to have a conversation with her and say: look, I am not a monster. Yes, I understand the things I've done in the past that have bothered you, and I'm not doing those things today. So if you go around expecting and thinking and on edge that I'm going to do these things, then that's on you. You need to work on that. And I expect you, if you want to be happy here, to change your thoughts. Stop thinking of me as this person who's going to wreck your life, or this person who's volatile and unpredictable. Stop thinking of me like that and start thinking of me as someone who's dependable, who's trustworthy, who you're happy with, who you're proud of. Because your thoughts, I can feel you thinking about me the way you are, and your thoughts are creating what you don't want.
Since we've had that conversation, my wife has very consistently worked on eliminating those thoughts, and I don't feel those thoughts from her hardly ever now. Occasionally we'll have an uncomfortable moment and some of those come up, and by occasionally I mean it's happened maybe once or twice this year in four months. She's been doing her work to take responsibility that if she's going around thinking of her husband as this dark man who could do anything at any time, then she's hurting our relationship by thinking that way, because she's communicating those thoughts and expectations to me.
When you really own yourself and get into your truth, you're in a better position to set boundaries with other people and to let people know what you expect. I expect, if you're going to be close with me, that you're going to lift me up. I expect that you're going to think of me how I want to be thought of. And I'm not going to hang out with you or be friends with you or be around you if you think negatively of me and you expect negatively of me.
You might say one of the dark sides of me is that I am kind of intolerant of, or ruthless about, who I surround myself with. If you are in some dark place, I will reach a hand out to you and lift you up and encourage you. But I also will not reinforce or give you more fuel for your dark fire. I will not give you an illusion that you're a victim. I will let you know this is your choice. You're feeling how you choose to feel. And I will not have you as a regular part of my life if you are a dark force. Like if my kids got into some addiction or some bad habit, I would be happy to lovingly ask them to leave the house and say, look, I love you so much. This is my house and I love my house, and my house is a place of love. You will bring love into this home and be loved while you're in this home, or you will find a new home. Some people look at that as a dark side, like you want somebody who will just put up with you through anything. I think the expectation of good behavior is very beneficial.
Holding People in the Light You Want Them In
I don't even hold the thought in my mind that it's possible for my wife to be unfaithful to me. I think she even feels safe enough that she makes jokes about it. She gets a text and she's like, "oh, hold on, that's my boyfriend." And it's funny to me because I refuse to let my mind hold that as a possibility. What I've told her is: what you think is possible out of me, you to some degree are asking for. So I encourage you to think of me how you want me to behave, and to hold me in a light that you'd like me to exist in. That's what I do with her. I think of her in a way that I want her to be. And I do that with everybody. I don't think of anybody anymore in a way that I don't want them to be.
When I've got people in my life that are struggling, the thing I look for telepathically is: do they want to feel better? Is there some desire within them, some opening where I can help them feel better? If not, then I'm not going to talk to them. If so, then I will share with them, because I look for that in myself. When I'm in a dark spot, is there some desire to feel better? Then I gravitate to who can help me feel better.
A friend told me he was having a dark and horrible day and that this turned it around for him. Much love, I appreciate your time, he said. My great pleasure. I'm putting out the telepathic vibe that this is a place, whether you're listening live or after the fact or on the podcast, the Jerry Banfield Show. I'm putting out the vibe that this is somewhere energetically, whether you're listening in your car, at the gym, at home, in the dining room, in the kitchen while you're cooking something, or doing laundry. And I think while I'm pulling into my mind the things you all are actually doing as I'm saying them, that's how I get the idea to do it.
Being Aware of the Vibe You Invite In
Individually, you may only be doing one thing right now, or one of you is probably out gardening. What I'm putting out is the vibe that this is somewhere you come to feel good. That's why you want to be aware of the vibe on things, because there are lots of things in this world that put out a vibe of come here if you want to feel bad. Once you start to get that level of sensitivity, you can differentiate the incoming telepathic energy. If you see a news story scroll by about who got murdered, or the suspect's picture and all that, you can see the telepathic energy you're inviting in if you click on that. Then you have a choice, and you can say, that's a feel-bad story.
My head is not in the sand. I realize there are a lot of reasons one could feel bad about what's going on on this planet. There are hundreds of thousands of people who are going to die on this planet today. You could even feel bad that there are going to be 200,000 more people born than die today. I realize there are a lot of things going on that one could feel bad over. And I also see there are even more reasons to feel good, and it's up to me what I want to experience. I've experienced a lot of feeling bad, which has given me a powerful desire and a powerful understanding of what feels good. So even feeling bad has a lot of value, because it shows you that if you don't want to feel that way, then how do you want to feel? If you don't want to feel neglected and like a loser, tell me how you do want to feel. Do you want to feel like a winner who's connected? What do you need to do? How do you need to think to bring that into your reality?
What's cool is that when you see this telepathic communication is happening all the time, you're able to not take every thought or thing that happens to you so personally. You see that some of the thoughts you're thinking are simply what other people around you are thinking. And some of the experiences you're having are because, in some way, you've attracted that, or you've thought about it and now here it is, even when you really didn't want that to happen.
Emotional Intensity Is the Biggest Driver
The last key point I'll make about telepathy again is that your emotional intensity is the biggest driver of your communication. If you think about something you really, really want, and you think of it from a place of I deserve this, you will attract it. I really want to feel like a winner. I really want to love myself. I really want to be connected to other people. I would love so much to have a partner in my life who can see that about me. You put that out and you draw all your emotion into it. You might even start crying. You think of it so hard. In my experience, the harder you focus your emotion, the faster and the more intense the communication you're putting out.
That's why some of you feel something special while you're here. It's because I'm putting that out and you're open to receiving it. Others don't see anything. They're like, this is just some dude chatting, nothing interesting going on here. That's fine that each of us has different points of view. It's law of attraction. You're here because you want to feel good. And the same as you've attracted this into your life, you can attract a partner. If you think you'd like a partner just like me, one will materialize, probably not in this exact physical form, but one that will be similar. Whether man or woman, whatever you want, I've come to believe the universe is ready to provide it for you.
Thank You for the Conversation
Thank you for listening to this. You all must love hearing me talk, because I think, all right, I just want to talk for an hour today, that'll be enough, and then I can play some magic. And I get so excited that I want to just keep talking and talking. I know when to stop talking, though, because the words kind of start to slow and a little silence starts to fall upon me. I'm feeling that right now. If you'd like to keep sitting with these conversations, you can find more of them on my Life playlist, and these talks are also available on the Jerry Banfield Show podcast if you prefer to listen.
Thank you for a fantastic conversation today. I love you all, and I'm thinking of you all. I consciously connect with you all, and I give you out all good vibes and energy directly, telepathically, as often as it occurs to me, because it helps me feel good. I love you all. I hope you have a wonderful day today. This has been fantastic.