I woke up the morning after my third Tawkify date feeling down, convinced there was no point even texting her. This is the honest story of a toxic spiral, a hard day, and how it turned into inspiration.
The negative spiral
Ironically, her profile said she appreciated an optimistic outlook — and my thinking that morning was the opposite: "this isn't going anywhere, why bother." I had trouble sleeping, woke up at 2 a.m., and felt anxious about when and what to text. At 41, after a 15-year marriage and plenty of dating in my 20s, I still found myself watching ridiculous "how to text a girl the next day" videos. My friend's advice was just be yourself — and myself is direct, so I sent a clear text suggesting a specific plan based on what she'd told me. No reply all day. And no reply is a reply.
Turning pain into something
I didn't dump any of this on my kids — I'm careful about that, because a lot of people offload their feelings onto the sensitive people around them. We played a board game and they hopped on Roblox. After they left, I had a good, hard cry to an old song from 15 years ago, and feeling the emotion fully actually lifted me into a higher, almost transcendent place. I played tennis with the guys, then chaired an AA meeting that went deep — 60 or 70 people, heartfelt shares, real connection from being raw and vulnerable.
Inspiration from agony
Even on a hollowed-out day, I grew, and intense emotion sharpened my creativity: I came away with a stack of video ideas and the realization that I should turn experiences like this into honest daily videos, so someone searching for what a real Tawkify date is like finds exactly that. I gave my matchmaker positive feedback on the match, and I trust that if I keep going I'll find a great second marriage. It was a day of agony and inspiration both — and I'm grateful for the adventure. If you want more, watch my dating playlist here.