I think high-value men should generally stay off dating apps — not because they don't work, and not because I'm judging men who use them, but because if you value your time, do well with women in person, and have a real life worth living, dating apps are an inefficient game with brutal competition for a small pool. This is my experience, even though I met my first wife on Match 15 years ago, when things weren't nearly this skewed.
The efficiency problem
If you're proud of your life and make conscious choices about your energy, ask whether it makes sense to spend hours converting profiles into messages into dates, and money optimizing photos. There are often two to three times as many men as women on the apps, and most men get almost nothing back. Charging around $200 for a call on my website says I value my time — sitting and swiping says the opposite. And I'd rather avoid a heavily competitive environment out of brotherly love: let other men have the apps.
Real life is the opposite
My best traits — presence, a calm, mature energy, the confidence to walk up to the most attractive woman in a room — barely translate to a profile. In person I can get about the most attractive woman in the room; on an app I don't stand out next to guys with professional photos, bigger muscles, more height, and no kids. At ecstatic dances, kirtans, and yoga classes I've been in rooms with four or five single women per single man, with women noticing me, making eye contact, even competing for attention — one time a woman I'd never spoken to at yoga broke the ice first after months of tension. That doesn't happen on an app.
Why I deleted the apps
Apps also make you lazy — if I can swipe at home, I won't go out where the high-value women actually are. As a searchable public figure, being on an app guarantees a woman screenshots my profile, finds my videos, and removes all the mystery, so I deleted Hinge for good. The women you meet in person tend to have stronger social circles and be more engaged in life, and they want a better story than "we met online." So instead of competing for attention on a screen, I'm sticking with in person, using a matchmaker, and being social and present. If you have options in real life, that's the better deal. If you want to talk it through, watch my dating playlist here.