It's September 27th, 2026. I'm Jerry Banfield, full-time YouTuber, and this is my vlog for what's happened in the last 24 hours, what I'm excited about, and what I'm doing with my business. Some of the things that happened earlier this week, you'll see I got hacked for $20,000 in crypto, and yet it didn't ruin my week. If anything, it inspired me. I've gotten really down on dating, but I think I'm having a breakthrough with dating, and I'm very excited to share that. I love seeing how hard times show us who steps up and who we can depend on. And the MaxFi team sent me $3,600, which means I actually have been making $1,000 a day for the initial three days of this goal. I'm going to cover all this stuff and put it all together.
I'm a single dad. I would love to find a woman to get married to, have some more kids, and have an amazing life with a partner together. At the same time, I'm very happy being single, and I'd hate to be with the wrong person. And I'm constantly asking for help.
Thank you, and what my whole business is really about
The first thing to cover in today's vlog is a big thank you to those of you who watch every day and show up here. Yesterday, you all spent 10 minutes on average watching my vlog. That's incredible. And I realized the main thing I have to offer you is this: you should know me very well by now. You should feel comfortable. You should feel safe expressing yourself, sharing your truth, and opening up to me. I see that's what my whole business needs to be about.
That's why I do two basic things in my business. One, I make videos. Today I just got all my auto-publishing set up for shorts. So I have 15 shorts a day publishing across five different YouTube channels, and then I'm publishing those same 15 shorts each to Instagram, to TikTok, and to Facebook. That's 60 individual videos being uploaded every day. Plus, I upload a long-form vlog to three different places, X, YouTube, and Facebook. Then I upload as many other long-form videos as I can each day. Those videos are for me to talk to you, and my hope is that I lead by example and that I inspire you.
To me, the key second piece of that is that I need to be able to talk to you. I need to be able to listen to you. I need to be able to get to know you. You can open up, you can talk to me, you can ask questions, and anything else you want to ask me, you can ask me. And I see the number one way for me to do that, based on what I want to do, starts with a call.
Why I'm taking down my eBay listings
I'm taking down my eBay listings. I had listed my shirts, like the one I met the Queen in. I listed the one I was on Who Are These Podcasts with. I listed my club outfit. And somebody went and defrauded my eBay account. They made fake bids that they had no real intention of paying, and then they used a ridiculous line to say, oh, they lost money in my Jerry meme coin on Robinhood. Yeah, right. I can see the blockchain. You were bidding $17,000. I know who had that much of the coin, and even close to that, I know them. And it wasn't you.
This person bid on my auctions with no intention of ever paying. Then they make up a lie, and I guess from their insane point of view, they're figuring I'm going to be really hurt and disappointed. I'm like, no, I knew when you first bid on it that you were just sabotaging my auction. And then they somehow leave negative feedback after I canceled the auction when they didn't pay.
This sent me a signal. It said: you need to stop selling stuff on eBay. Stop doing Cameos. Stop telling people to go to Skool. Stop responding to DMs. You need to stop everything except showing up for people who want to have a one-on-one call with you. If you want something you saw, like those eBay outfits, ask about it on a call. Then we can talk, and I'll give you a great price on them face to face. You can tell me why you want them and what you like about them, give me your shipping address, and I'll send them to you. Everything from now on happens in a one-on-one call. No more just throwing my time and money around.
That was my big breakthrough this week, and ironically, it happened because of getting so much money stolen from me. I talked about that a lot yesterday, so we're not going to rehash all of it. But what I've said is, if you sit here and watch these, imagine what it could do for your life to actually talk to me. Even if it did nothing else, it would be a better way to support me than throwing out Super Chats. I love Super Chats, and y'all gave something like 500 of them, but I didn't get to know anybody in a Super Chat. I want to get to know you. I want to see your face and hear you talk for 50 minutes, and then maybe I'll talk for 10 minutes of that.
And if you want to meet up, I'm flying to Dallas today. If you want to meet up with me while I'm there, schedule a call with me at the first available time and say, hey, I want to meet up with you while you're here, and we can go from there. I'm not going to try to organize events anymore. I'd rather meet up with people one on one. That is what I'm communicating here to you.
Essentialism: cut everything that isn't essential
I just started reading a book called Essentialism, and what a lot of us need to do in our lives, and this is the main point of today's vlog, is simplify. Take dating. I've run into so many women who have so many amazing, beautiful qualities, but they are so distracted, overloaded, and busy that they can't think straight. An amazing guy like me, and in my opinion, and according to some women I've dated, I'm an amazing guy, comes into their life, and they just don't have the bandwidth or the energy to even deal with me.
If a woman wants to have a date with me, she has to pay. She has to pay like the rest of you to have a date with me, because I don't need to be talking to women for free. A woman who's talking to me for free does not have a high enough interest in me. And here's what happened. After a bunch of people spammed my form and put in fake phone numbers like the St. Pete Police Department, one real woman got through and sent me a video. I messaged her two days ago. Twice, she took an entire day to send one simple message back. I'm like, there's not enough interest here. I'm going to leave this alone. Then she double-texted me today after she messaged yesterday and I didn't reply. I'm done. I'm not wasting my time.
What I've seen with essentialism and simplifying is that I need to cut, cut, cut. Everything that's not essential needs to get cut. So many people need to cut the non-essential content they're watching. My content is breakthrough content, content that could change your life, that gives you a point of view that's not common on YouTube. I'm picky about what else I watch. I'll look through hundreds of videos and not watch any of them. I'll summarize a few of them with AI, because most of what people put out is junk. They're trying to establish themselves as an authority and sell you something, or they're giving you junk food, useless entertainment that wastes your time.
I can help you. If you want what I have, then my content is for you. I'm able to be peaceful with a bunch of debt. Now, the debt to some degree you could say is out of my control at this moment, but how I feel about it is one hundred percent in my control. I'm having a lot of fun, and I'm figuring out the absolute best way to pay this debt off and to give the most I can in the least amount of time. And to give you the most I can give you, specifically. Because DMing people and reading chats, I don't get to know any of you. When I talk to you face to face, I remember the people I talk with. I've talked to hundreds of people in more than 20 countries all over the world on Zoom. I remember so many faces, so many names, so many stories. But I just don't remember comments. I don't remember emails. I don't remember profile pictures and DMs. If you're going to watch my videos, the best thing you could do for yourself is help me get to know you, so I know who I'm creating for.
I have a fantastic attitude. There are so many people in this world who are in debt, stressed out, and hopeless. I'm not stressed out. I'm full of hope, and I'm having fun. Going back to this woman, though: so many women I've dated are just too overloaded. To me, the number one thing all of us need to do is cut. Stop the time you waste scrolling on Instagram. Stop taking on all these useless things. For me, selling my Skool community is a useless activity. I'm not going to sell it. I'm closing it down. Putting auctions on eBay that people can easily sabotage really shows me that third-party platforms are a huge problem. Anything like Stripe, for example, I can easily rotate another credit card processor in if needed, so the whole website is under my control.
And this woman, she double-texted me today with another message, and then I felt dumb for responding at this point, because I did respond to her. At this point, what are you going to get? She messages me yesterday at 10 a.m., and I didn't respond, because at this point I'm giving up. I'm just matching a woman's effort. If all you've got is one message a day, I don't think there's enough there for us to do anything about. So I sent her a couple of messages Friday.
Then she takes an entire day to respond to me. So at this point, I'm done. I'm not responding again unless she responds. Then she sends another message today. Now it's eight hours later, and she read my message 30 minutes after I sent it, and no response. Again, I'm done. This is ridiculous. If you're a grownup, you should be able to use your phone and communicate with people. It's not that difficult. But it is difficult when your mind is so overwhelmed with so many things you're doing, and most of them are useless wastes of time.
Politics is proof you don't value your time
Most of the things most people are concerned with are like that. I just had a conversation while I was getting a massage with Lindsey, and we were talking about somebody who got into a big thing and didn't want to see somebody anymore because of their politics. If you're talking about politics and getting in fights with people, you don't value your time, because you can't do anything about politics personally except lead by example. You fighting about these manufactured issues that are dishonestly discussed and presented to divide people is evidence that you don't appreciate your time. And then you're having real-life conflicts with people because you're having these useless conversations.
I don't bother talking to people about politics. If you want to talk with somebody who's going to show you unusual points of view you've never thought of before, you can bring me onto a call. I'm not talking about this stuff publicly online anymore, but on a call you can ask me about all the top issues, and I will blow your mind with the way I see everything. Bring me some controversial issue, and I'll make you feel like you've never thought about it at all before, because most of the time you've never really thought beyond the public talking points you've been given.
And I don't have time to waste with women who can't be bothered to text me back for a day. I know you have time. It's that I'm not a priority. It's that you don't care. You're easily distracted. I don't want to deal with anybody who doesn't care, anybody I'm not a priority for. It's the same thing with all of you following me. I'm not reading comments or posts. You can say whatever you want. You can make videos. You can react. I'm not watching any of it. I'm not looking at any of it. If you schedule a call with me, I will talk to you and I'll pay full attention to you for an hour. If that's not you, you're invisible to me.
Parasites, video games, and a lack of purpose
I hope you all collectively will start stripping these things down. So many of the things in our lives are like parasites. They're things that at some point we got attached to, and they're draining our time and energy while we keep putting all this effort into them. Take the video games so many people play. I want to play video games. I've got all the content. I have an Xbox Series X. I've got a PlayStation 5. My kids play both of them today. I've got a gaming PC. But I've got better things to do than play video games.
I thought I had a video game addiction at one point. No, I didn't. I had a lack of priorities and purpose for my life. When you're sitting there playing 10 hours of Call of Duty Zombies, you don't have a gaming addiction. You just don't think about what else you could do with your life. You have a lack of vision and purpose. I have so much vision and purpose for my life that I wish I had time to sit around and play one, five, or 10 hours of video games, because they're fun, but I've got other stuff to do. Sure, I play an hour sometimes. About a week ago I played a few hours of Warzone, and it was fun, but I haven't found time in a week to play any video games. I'm traveling and I've got stuff to do. I've got packing. I've got videos to make. I have work to do. I have money to make.
I hope you will simplify your life and take out all these distractions. So many of the things you engage in are distractions. I want a woman who will pay the money to have a date with me, take me seriously, and see what a catch I am. I have no time for any woman besides that. I'm not trying to sell a woman ever again. I know what I've got to offer. My offers are very clear and on the internet. I don't need to fool around with a woman with low interest.
The batting cage and the $3 card fee
I went to a club a week ago and dropped several thousand dollars. It's funny, compared to losing $20,000 in a crypto hack, it feels like I barely spent any money at the club. So then I take my son. I had my son last night. My daughter's over at a friend's house for a sleepover, and my ex, I imagine, is with her boyfriend enjoying the kid-free time. My son wanted to go to the batting cage. I looked on Google Maps, I asked Gemini to find me a spot, and I ended up at Celebration Station in Clearwater, which has some batting cages.
I got there and they asked how much I wanted, and I said give me 30 minutes in a batting cage. The woman was like, oh, I hope this is all right, because some people get mad, but it's a $3 fee to get a new card. I'm just like, who gets mad that you have to pay $3 for a card? $3 is so close to free I can hardly tell the difference, unless I'm getting hit with a thousand $3 transactions a day, then I might notice. Who is so broke that you're getting upset about $3? You've got to stop getting upset about small amounts of money if you want to be wealthy.
This is why I am so wealthy, even with all this debt: I think in big numbers. I think, how can I make $300,000 in 2027 so that I can pay off the majority of my debt in a single year? And how do I do that working six hours a day or less, seven days a week? How do I work full time, pay off all my debt next year, give people a ton of value, and really get to know the people I'm giving value to? I've got all that figured out now. All my videos now say Jerry Banfield, schedule a call.
It's amazing what happens when you change your mindset. When you're the kind of person who's complaining about a $3 card fee, that's the kind of stuff broke people do. I used to go to restaurants and double-check every single receipt to make sure they didn't add an extra charge after I left, to make sure that when I wrote a $10 tip the waiter or waitress didn't put in a hundred. I used to check every receipt. Now I can't be bothered. If there's a thousand-dollar charge from a restaurant on a credit card bill, I might notice it a month later. I think in big numbers. I want to pay off $200,000 in debt, and I want to do it in a way that's ethical, transparent, gives people value, and allows an exchange of value. And boom, literally within a few days of thinking like that, I've got the key system figured out.
Opportunities sitting in plain sight
What you'll notice when you get out of this broke-thinking mindset is that you'll find opportunities sitting right there in plain sight. I've got so many views on all these short videos I do on YouTube, X, TikTok, and Instagram. I don't put talking captions on them, because I can't stand that. But I realized you could just stick a call to action as a caption on every video. So now every short has a call to action burned into the video itself. If somebody steals my video or reacts to my video, my call to action is burned into their video too, and people have been doing that. People have been taking my videos, putting them up, and reacting to them. I'm going to make a more advanced watermark on my long videos as well.
When you think wealthy, you will see opportunities that have been going to waste. All these people had been watching my short videos, and there was no call to action on them. Now, boom, all my new short videos that get thousands and thousands of views a day are sitting there with calls to action burned into them. And if anybody reacts to any of my videos, the calls to action are burned into their videos also. They'll be too annoying to try to remove, so most people, out of laziness and saving time, will just leave them in. Some of my videos are getting more views on other channels than they get on mine, and now my call to action is burned into those too.
Everything feels free compared to Mons Venus
So I take this abundant mindset with my son to Celebration Station in Clearwater last night, and it felt like everything was free, especially compared to going to Mons Venus. My son did 30 minutes in a batting cage and said, I want to do more. So I go in and spend over a hundred dollars to buy a $160 fun card, which feels free compared to paying $120 for a lap dance. Now, my mind was saying, well, you want to save money. And I'm like, no, I'm out with my son. Remember how much fun you had and how much money you spent with those strippers last weekend at Mons Venus? Why don't you have fun like that with your son and realize that no matter what you spend on your son, it's going to be free by comparison.
So I told my son, like it was a Mr. Beast video, you can have whatever you want, son. Whatever you want. I bought the $160 card. We went on the go-karts twice, and I think the go-karts are about $20 a ride. We had fun. He went back into the batting cage, and I'm just swiping $5 for every two minutes, $5, $5. He's in there another 30 minutes, just ripping through the money on the card. Maybe it's three minutes per swipe, but he's ripping through it, and we spent another hundred.
I'm like, you want to go to the arcade, son? So we're in there playing a Nerf blaster game, just $2, $2, and I feel so abundant. That's amazing. Some of you have as much debt as I do, but you feel so broke. How is it possible that we have similar circumstances, but I feel so wealthy and I'm enjoying my life, while some people in my situation are miserable, on all kinds of stuff, and so stressed out? I'm sober. I don't have to take anything. I'm not under anybody's care, and I'm having a great time in the same situation that would drive a bunch of people nuts and leave a bunch of people desperate. That's why you should talk to me, because having this point of view personally pointed at your situation is powerful.
So I took my son there. We got home. We slept in. I snuggled with him in the morning, and I had a great time.
Ashley, the friend zone, and how I treat my friends
Then I was thinking about the dating stream I had with Ashley Cummings. We had a great stream on Thursday, and she was talking about how she's been friends with guys before going romantic. I'd kind of been feeling a little romantic vibe with her the first week of talking with her, but after that, I just felt very much in the friend zone. Ashley is just a friend. I don't even need to think more than that.
It's funny, because I was talking to Lindsey about this. I like the idea of just being friends with women, but it also completely blocks my desire to treat them any differently than I'd treat the rest of my friends. With most of my friends, some of my boys, I'll go weeks without talking to them, and then I'll think, damn, I wonder how he's doing, let me give him a call. I don't think I should text this boy good morning. I don't think, hey, I should text him and ask if he's doing all right today. No. I reach out to my friends when I feel like it, when I'm thinking of them. So I didn't message Ashley for a couple of days, because she's my friend Ashley and I didn't have anything to say. Then I put up the collaboration videos with her, so I needed to message her about the collaboration. But it was a little more fun when there was that feeling of maybe there's something more than friends there. Ironically, to me, just being friends with everybody is super simple and easy, but it's also a little sad.
Yet I only want to look at women as friends going forward, unless a woman comes at me with a very high interest, where I'm like, oh my God, I don't know what to do with her, with a very clear reason why and a very consistent interest in me, and I'm also interested in her. In that case, I'm only going to match her effort. I'm not going to put in more effort, and if she drops her effort, I'm done.
Women are the ones choosing now
It seems kind of sad, because I heard about a woman who's very pretty, and it seems like she ought to be able to have some love in her life. I saw my ex go on a dating app, find somebody, go out with the first guy right away, and get in a relationship with him. It seems like it should be that easy for this woman also, but she's all upset and thinks guys should chase her. I'm like, nah, no. To me, these days, women are chasing the guys they want. As a man, it feels utterly pointless to try to pursue a woman. I feel like a loser as soon as I start reaching out to a woman, as soon as I start asking her what she's doing or how her day's going. I'm not going to do that. I only reach out if I have a concrete thing I need, or maybe it's been weeks and I'm wondering how she's doing.
Take Angela, who did the roast with Lindsey where she roasted me. I haven't messaged Angela, and I hardly ever message her first. If she wants something from me, she'll message me. I paid her for coaching, and after that, there's not much I need from her, so I don't call or text her much. If a woman is in my friend zone, she gets the same treatment as my guy friends. I don't care what you're doing on a day-to-day basis. I hope you're well, but I'm not thinking about my friends on a day-to-day basis. I'm thinking about my work. I'm thinking about my kids.
To me, a woman I'm dating has a very special place in my life. Maybe it's because I grew up in a military family, where to me friends are relationships that don't last that long and aren't worth investing much in emotionally. And maybe that needs to change at this point, because I've got some good friends. I've got at least one friend I've been friends with for more than 20 years, but I don't think of him that often. I call him once every few months, or he calls me.
So I'm like, how do we even date anymore? Somebody needs to be the one who decides there should be a relationship, and these days, to me, it looks like it's got to be the woman. Most of the people I know who started relationships recently, it was the woman who decided she wanted a relationship with that guy. In many cases the guy was indifferent, or wasn't even that interested. It was the woman who decided, I want this guy, I'm going to pursue him.
The Queen, and never sending that message again
So with my dating life at this point, I had a great breakthrough talking to Ashley. And then I messaged the Queen, and she still hasn't responded three days later. I feel bad. That message was a good learning opportunity, but I pray to never send another message like that. If a woman is not messaging me, I'm not messaging her. If a woman isn't comfortable double or triple texting me, I sure won't be either. I will be the one to drop off and lose interest first, and if you're not responding to something nice I'm sending, then I'm done with you. I'm so finished with the Queen at this point. Even if she reached out and said, hey, I'm sorry, whatever, I'm done. You've shown your true colors. I'm not impressed at all. It's disappointing and sad to look at how you conduct your life.
Owen Cook was telling the same kind of story, and this goes directly against some of these people out there saying, yeah, you need to be a tan Chad. No, that's crap. Some people, men and women, seem to want to choose somebody who makes them miserable. Owen Cook told a story about a woman he really loved and respected. She was so smart, and he had a mansion for her to move into. She leaves him and chooses a failed musician who's a drug addict. That guy gets her pregnant, and then she's working in a nursing home cleaning up crap. She chose that instead of moving into a mansion with Owen Cook. And there are guys who do the same thing, guys who could be with all kinds of amazing women, and they choose someone who just destroys them.
Every woman is a friend until she makes it clear
So I want someone who chooses me because she wants to have an amazing life. I see at this point I need to just forget about dating. Every woman is just a friend until the woman makes it super clear that she's romantically interested in me. If a woman doesn't make it clear she's romantically interested in me, that she would like me to pay that kind of attention to her, that she would appreciate me putting in effort and treating her special, then you're just a friend. I have no interest in you beyond that. And I feel now I can finally relax and just go off and do my business. I'm interested to see where my dating videos go from here, because it's crazy: I used to feel like I was arguing all the time with these guys who were saying men should just stay single, don't even bother with dating.
I'd love to have an amazing relationship with a woman, to have more kids, to have a family. But I'm not making an effort for it. I'm surrendering. I'm giving up. I'm trusting that there's a woman out there who's going to see me, who's going to go to my website and book a call with me, or who's going to see me in person and say, I've got to be with him. He's special. He's different. He's nice. He's honest. He has a purpose and a passion in his life. He's alive. He's healthy. He's already fathered two beautiful children who are super healthy and intelligent, and the odds are very high he could do it again. A very energetic man, full of life, who takes care of himself, who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't use any drugs, who hasn't been to the doctor in years, isn't under the care of anybody, doesn't take any medication, and didn't get the shot. A man who eats whole-food plant-based, who is disciplined with his diet and disciplined with his sex life.
I've been celibate all year. Certainly there are some women I could have had sex with, but I've said no to ones who would have had sex with me, where all I had to do was ask or go out on a few more dates. And I've said no, I'd rather be single than go out with you again. I would rather be single than deal with your mess, your chaos, or whatever. There are a number of women I could have had sex with this year where I was the one who said, I'm done with this, I'm ghosting you, not interested. And it's nice, because sometimes I think, oh, I've failed so much this year. It's like, nah. First off, I tried for a lot of women I judged as high quality: intelligent, beautiful, professionally successful, good communicators. I've tried for lots of them.
I have no tolerance for settling. I'm not going to go significantly below my level. But I don't care whether a woman is professionally successful or not. It's just that a lot of the single women I've run into around me end up also being professionally successful. I am professionally successful. Whatever you think of my debt, I've gotten over a billion impressions on all the stuff I've created. That's professionally successful. That's extremely rare. And I'm not settling for a woman who's unhealthy or who doesn't want kids. I'm not doing that.
You've got money, I've got time for you
It's amazing the power the stories we tell have. I have a ton of friends I talk to. I have a full life of friends already. If you don't, I'm available. You can just pay me and I'll step in, just like when I went to the club the other night at Mons Venus. The strippers were there to give me what I hadn't been able to get anywhere else this year. There was no sex, just a good time, good feelings, good vibes, basically me giving them a massage. I paid them and they gave me what I needed. It was awesome. And if you need somebody to talk to and you don't have anybody, I'm here, and I've dropped everything else I'm doing to make time for you. You've got money, I've got time for you. It feels very honest. You can schedule a call with me and I'll give you my full attention.
Where effort helps and where it backfires
So this is my vlog for today. I'm very proud of my life. And I'm a bit scared to take this approach with dating, but talking to Ashley really helped me see it. She said something like, in a lot of areas of your life, you do need to put in effort. For my business, I need to put in effort. I need to think about videos, execute videos, analyze everything, and think about my business constantly. My business does not just happen by me manifesting and going to the beach. It happens because I put a lot of work and a lot of thought into it all day, all the time, and my entire life is set up to execute my business successfully. With parenting, I put the effort in to go do stuff with my kids and set up a life for them. I put time into my relationships with my friends. But ironically, with dating, it seems like all the effort I've been putting in has actually been counterproductive.
Ashley said something like this, and that's on my Jerry Banfield dating channel, our entire live stream together: there's a scenario in your life where it will probably work better to put no effort into it. I think that's where I am. No speed dating, no dating apps, no more matchmaking. I'll go out with the last two matches, because I already paid $1,250 for them, but I'm going to be looking at these women as potential friends. Is this woman cool? Would I want to hang out with her, with no agenda on the table? We'll see.
I'm not going to put any effort into dating. I'm going to be out there getting attention, with women all over the world watching my videos, and I'll just be doing the stuff I normally do in person where I might run into women. I'll be going to yoga classes, but I'm there for the yoga. I'm not there to meet a wife. I'm there because I want to do yoga, and it'd be nice to actually be at yoga instead of being there to find a wife. If a woman decides she wants me, then I'll pay attention. If a woman makes her interest in me clear and I'm interested in her, I will match her effort. I will only match her effort. I will never make more of an effort.
Giving up the chase
This is a little scary, because my entire dating life up to this point has been me putting in effort: picking women up at grocery stores, online dating websites, bars, at work. I picked women up everywhere, even at the Thanksgiving dinner table. My mom brought her friend over when I moved home in 2009, and I'm like, this is too easy, Mom. I'm going to be in bed with her next week. And I was, even though she'd never had a serious boyfriend before. I laid that down within two weeks. I was always putting in effort, all the time, trying so hard. And I give up putting any effort into dating. I'm going to just be the kind of man who is in a position where a woman looks at me and says, I need him to have my babies. I need him to be my man. And I'm going to do what it takes to pursue him.
I just hope women realize today that you need to be the one doing that. Guys are done. Not all guys. But a lot of the guys out there hunting, and I don't like the word creepy that much, are not the kind of guy I'd want to be with: the kind who doesn't respect boundaries, who doesn't listen when you say you're ready to go, who is rude enough to interrupt and cold approach. That doesn't work for the kind of man I am. I'm the kind of man who builds a kingdom, builds a castle, and you come to my court, ask permission to join, and offer yourself up. You can follow how this unfolds in my Dating playlist.
So I think that's the clarity I've gotten on dating: these days, somebody needs to be the initiator. What I'm seeing is that it works when it's the woman, and it's consistently not working when it's the man. I appreciate your time here.