To me, a test of life is not how you show up when everything works perfectly and is pretty, but how do you show up when things don't go as planned? How do you show up then, when things aren't what you expect? Meanwhile, this is a beautiful little world, isn't it? Look at that — the stars are just raining down from the sky.
I've learned that my livestream is not ever too important to ignore a phone call from a family member — although when my sponsee calls, which is often, I do let him leave a voicemail. I ignored my brother's phone call one time on my stream because at the time I was streaming to, I don't know, five people at most. I'm like, oh, this is so important. When I finally talked to him, he's like, "Yeah, mom fell off her horse and almost died. What were you doing?" Why didn't I answer his call? Well, I was live streaming some Call of Duty. This was six years ago on YouTube — I was live streaming Call of Duty.
So everyone in this game looks like they're just hanging out and having a great time, and Bowser comes in to blow everybody's buzz. Exactly. Bowser just needs to get himself a lady Bowser so he can calm down a little bit. Or maybe Bowser's Bowser. Then again, Bowser makes things interesting. If there was no Bowser, there would have been no interesting Mario game. Without Bowser, what would you have done?
These characters are just saying "panic and fear, panic and fear." I wish people could be — maybe people can be — I would love to see people being that honest on social media, on Facebook. Instead of writing out all the posts we see, just write out "panic and fear." Like, all right, there we go — now I can give you empathy and sympathy. And when you write out "confusion and anger" — the princess is this way, okay — wouldn't that be nice, if your social media feed was that honest?
What I Found When I Stopped Drinking
Someone in the community mentioned quitting drinking, and I hope they've got some help with that. Because what I found is, when I was used to drinking a lot, stopping drinking certainly seemed like a good idea — and actually seemed like a necessity — but often my life would actually seem to get worse. What I found is that when I drank, it kind of obscured my problems and my opportunities for learning and growth. Then when I got sober, a lot of those would get clear. Like, oh, I ought to be a nicer person. Why is everyone being so mean to me? Oh, maybe because I haven't been very nice to them, and I'm still not being nice. Why do I have so many problems? Well, because I've drank and not really solved or focused on my problems. What's challenging with getting sober is that things often internally appear to get worse the longer you're sober.
That, for me, is what's been so beneficial about going to Alcoholics Anonymous: to get help from people who've been through that process, people who have helped me. I continue to go like five times a week, almost every day, and I continue to help other people go through that process too. If you haven't been through it before, it can be tough, and it's not something you want to do alone. It's really nice to have people to ask questions — to be like, hey, I'm really stressed out right now, and I haven't experienced stress sober hardly at all. What do I do about this? How can I relate to this, and how can I get out of this? I can't relax without a drink, or whatever else you use — like, how do you relax and be sober about it now? How do you deal with all these little challenges that come up in life? So AA has been miraculous for me, to get help especially through that initial transition, and then continuing to help others through that transition as well brings ongoing happiness and joy and accountability for me.
Here's what can happen: if you've been drinking a long time, then you get sober for a while and your life gets really good, you can think, all right, now I've evolved. Now I can control myself. Now I can drink again, because look, I've got it together — I must not have been that bad before. When I go to AA meetings every day, it reminds me of how bad I was and how I was before, and that it's not a matter of how much I've got it together now — that recovery set up the trajectory my life is on now. In my experience, AA is not right for everybody — there are other ways to do it — but that's what worked for me.
What's really nice is that all these processes are often pretty difficult, and I love how I've talked with people and heard people's experiences. Like, this is how I talked to my wife. This is what I did with my children. This is what I do with my parents. Hearing hundreds of people's experiences over time has made it a lot easier for me to kind of repair my life. It's hard to get sober because often we've done so much damage to our lives that it looks kind of hopeless. Like, well, this is kind of pointless — why even try and fix this mess? So I'm grateful for the chance to talk about this too, because it helps me remember it myself.
Challenge Your Brain Like a Child Does
I'm definitely having some challenges just figuring out some of the basics of this game. But that's what's good. These kinds of challenges are good for your brain. Your brain needs to be in situations where it doesn't understand what's going on, where it's being challenged. Ooh, I hit the Y button. All right. You want to put your brain in situations that are challenging it, because that's where it learns and grows and expands. That's how you stay young and healthy. You'll notice children are consistently challenging their brains. They're putting themselves in new situations that are uncomfortable, that are uncertain. And playing different video games is a great way to do that — especially when, as adults, lots of times we get our lives to a point where we actually try to avoid uncertain, challenging situations. We intentionally try not to be in a new, uncertain, challenging situation. Some of us pride ourselves that we haven't been in an uncertain situation for a long time. When really, if we want to grow — and ultimately the path of growth is the path of living and survival — if we want to grow, we need to be challenging ourselves.
The $20 Bills That Turned Into $1,800
I used to give our daughter $20 bills because I thought of myself as such a high roller. I gave my daughter $20 bills whenever she asked for them. I'm like, eh, it's not a big deal — whatever, I have $20 here, $20 there. And one day we needed to pay for an air conditioner, and I was in one of the worst financial situations I'd been in. And my wife whips out $1,800. I'm like, good God, where did you get that? She's like, "These are the $20 bills you gave our daughter over a period of several months." I'm like, seriously? That's a lot. She's like, "The little things you do with your money add up to a lot of money over time." Like — you are telling the truth. I get it. That was a very powerful example. I used to think, so what if I spend $5 a month on this, $5 a month on that? Eh, it doesn't matter. Well, over a year, $5 a month adds up to $60 a year. The little stuff adds up to a lot. And the more I'm able to spend my money thoughtfully, the more I've got to support others.
Mountain Dew, Hot Dogs, and Generosity
One reason I've banned the word "creepy" from my page — and anything people use to criticize having the shirt off — is that I like having the shirt off because it lets you know I'm a little bit different. And then I encourage you to be a little bit different too, if that feels right for you.
I used to rationalize that if I give money to someone homeless, they're just going to use it for drugs. And my friend that's homeless — I talked to him. I got to know him. I asked, what are you going to buy with this? Because I was curious, after I gave it to him. He's like, "I'm going to go get a two-liter of Mountain Dew, and I'm going to get some hot dogs from the gas station." Now, I don't drink soda hardly ever, and I also don't eat meat. I could try and ideologically oppose it — like, I'm not buying meat for somebody else. Oh, and then he's like, "I'm going to get a pack of cigarettes." But this is what this man wants. He's really not asking the world for much. He wants some cigarettes, a little something to eat, and a little something to drink. I've got the ability to buy him everything he wants for a couple of days, and I feel good doing it. I like to think that I'm helping somebody get what, in their mind, is a bit of a luxury. If I'm not willing to buy a homeless person their idea of a luxury, then am I willing to receive my idea of a luxury? It's amazing how that works. The more generous I am, the more I'm given. It's kind of wild.
Oh, so you actually shake your controller on this. Oh, nice — I was able to beat that. You can actually move these controllers. That's pretty cool. You have to actually move your controller to get over here. This is a cool game. Whoa.
Problems I've Fixed That Kill People Every Day
I have fixed problems in my life that are killing other people all over the world every day. Like, I'm sober for seven years now. I'm at a healthy weight — I'm at 160 pounds. I used to be at 240. For most of my adult life, I went between 200 and 240, and I felt kind of powerless over my weight. And now it's easy. It's easy to stay sober every day — I love it. It's easy to stay at a healthy weight. I fully enjoy my life. And even money — the most recent challenge I made is money. I made money problems for myself, and even those have been fairly easy to solve as well. Cut your expenses. Focus on doing what you really love and where there's a lot of growth potential. Ask for help from other people. Watch my kids more so my wife can work full time and make more money.
I love the experiences I've had, because then I can give other people hope. Like, hey, if you're struggling with money today, you don't have to keep struggling with money. If you're struggling with your health, your health can be completely changed — no matter how old you are. How do I go over here? If you're struggling with getting sober, in my experience, go to Alcoholics Anonymous and work the program, or do some other program of sobriety. These things actually work. Ren says, "I'm a professional photographer and do very well for myself. I'm very, very happy with my life." Isn't that amazing? From homeless to professional photographer, doing really well.
And what's funny is, you'd think something like being homeless is bad, but — for example — my alcoholism gave me a great opportunity to appreciate my life today. Because I felt so alone and miserable as an alcoholic for so long, I really appreciate being sober and having a peaceful, drama-free life now, in a way that I wouldn't appreciate the same way if I hadn't been through what I've been through.
That's what came out of my first play of Super Mario Galaxy on the Nintendo Switch — a little bit of star hunting and a whole lot of life. If you enjoyed hanging out with me on this one, there are plenty more gaming adventures like it waiting for you in my Games playlist.