The computer whooped my ass on this game last time, and I'm back with a vengeance. This time we've got infinite lives on, and we're going to blow through this thing with the Game Genie on our new Nintendo. Terminator 2 with Arnold Schwarzenegger was one of my favorite movies as a kid growing up, and I'm so pumped there's a video game for this. We've got to get past that second stage this time. Are you ready for this? Are you ready? I'm ready. Let's go, baby. Let's fuck them up. I know last time I did this I wasn't cursing, so this time we can get the swear words out and compare this stream to the last stream I did with Terminator.
I'm not amazed. You would think this Terminator would have a lot of health, but these dudes whoop his ass — this guy, not to mention this guy on the bike — and for some reason the next boss is hella thick on him too. That was hella shitty last time, getting fucked up so quick. Oh shit, let me jump up on here. All right, fuck it, we'll just punch him in the face. Come on, you don't play with me. Who do you think I am, you fucking bad boy? Hey, wait a minute — why is he putting Scarface lines in Terminator? That doesn't make any sense. Millimeters? Chill out, dickwad. There we go, now we're getting some Terminator lines in here. Oh shit, the motorcycle ran me right over.
One Person Smiling at Me
That's my whole goal: if I can make your day just a little bit better. I swear there were some days where I damn near killed myself. I swear the only reason I didn't is because my family loved me just enough, and people had helped me just enough, to love myself that day. Some days it came down to one person smiling at me. So I figure if I can be that difference in your life, or in the life of somebody you know, I'll do whatever I can to make that happen. Dude, I am crazy and I love it. My hope is that I can help you embrace your crazy.
Oh, this big bitch. Do you think Terminators have dicks? Dude, holy shit — I got past that guy without losing a bar of health. What the fuck. Do you remember last time I played that part I got destroyed? Oh my god. Oh my goodness. Fuck. See, we needed to be able to curse for this. Last time, this is where it fell apart, and that's why we've got the infinite lives — I got the Game Genie for this shit right here, because this shit is hard. Oh shit, my energy's down.
Counting Deaths
How many is that? Come on. Thirteen times I've died. It only gives you four lives, man — how are you supposed to beat this with four lives? Seventeen deaths. Son of a bitch. Fuck my mother — man, I love my mother. Oh shit, I forgot to call my mom. Come on, fucker. I'll call my mom after this stream. Remind me to call my mom after the stream. Come on. Shit, dude, my health is so small. Fuck. Twenty-two deaths in 15 minutes. This game is sick. Twenty-two times I've died, and I'm not ass at games either, despite what some of the commenters might think: "You're not a pro. Take pro gamer out of your fucking bio." Shit. Twenty-three deaths. Oh shit, no — I stepped on the Nintendo cord. Oh my god, I stepped on the Nintendo cord. Don't fuck the Nintendo up. It's delicate. It's really sensitive.
Twenty-eight deaths in 18 minutes. Come on. John Connor is fucked if I'm the Terminator. Come on, shoot him. All right, I should be able to memorize this shit and make every move correct. I will make every move correct. Oh, then we shat the bed. Twenty-nine deaths. I think I'd rather get the tip of my tongue — I think I'd rather get the tip of my dick flicked than die this many times. My gaming ego is — that was weird, wasn't it? Why would I even say that? No, that hurts. I'm just kidding about that. I'm definitely not serious about that. Ouch.
Not that car. I cannot die on that car again. I ran into that bitch like ten times. It's not the game. If I make it thirty-one — if I make the same mistake over and over again, it's not the game. Come on, baby, come on, we got it. No, don't let him fuck you. Oh God. Thirty-five deaths in 21 minutes, but who's counting? Come on, we're going to beat this level. I believe that we will win. Positive affirmations, and then scream "fuck" whenever things don't go your way. Oh shit, I have no — fuck. Thirty-six. That car has got me like twenty fucking times. Holy shit, fuck, dude. Oh my god. That's "fuck your mother" in Russian. I've got to start going to other languages. I've worn out fuck. I've said fuck too many times; I think I've broken it. Thirty-three — no, forty-three deaths. Holy shit.
Jesus, Are You Listening?
Jesus. Hey, you know what, I drove by a sign today that said Jesus will save you. Jesus, please save me from this level. I'm stuck in this level. Jesus, are you listening? The screen said I've been terminated. Jesus is like, "You dumb fuck, turn the game off. Turn the game off. Call your mother, you dumb bastard." Oh, are we — oh, we're going to be — oh no, not that car. Fuck. We're almost done with that. Forty-five deaths. Mike said, "Jesus said give Mike the sticks." Yep. Oh, fuck you. I'll let my kids have the sticks — they could probably beat this shit. Laura could probably destroy this.
I'd like to have a thousand-dollar challenge and just have a line of people up here. A thousand dollars, no infinite lives cheat, a thousand dollars to get past this level. Just have motherfuckers lined up outside — have like a hundred people. That's a lot of people. You get a hundred people to take ten minutes a person, so that could be a bit of a problem. But like one of those Mr. Beast videos where he gives like twenty thousand dollars to sit next to a fucking roller coaster, right? What am I supposed to do?
Oh shit, we got past it without running into — no, I did hit the car. My mind's like, "What kind of great content have you created tonight, Jerry? Why do these people even like you? All you've done is say fuck and die 48 times." Not that. Fifty, is it? I don't even know. We're over fifty deaths, man. I am having fun, though. I like getting challenged in a game. What's not fun is when a game's too damn easy. I like when a game makes me scream. I like when a game really challenges me. This game is fucking me up one side and down the other. Shit is ridiculous. A hundred stars for this fucking game, the hardest I've ever played. Come on, we're going to do this. I'm a glutton for punishment. I'll get slapped around all day; I don't give a shit. Or dodge that car. Yeah, you got it. Come on. Ah, fuck. Fifty-five deaths.
Sweating at Seventy Degrees
I'm sweating in here. I'm fucking sweating and it's like 70 degrees. My body's getting stressed out. It's like, shit, are we about to die? Like, no, not for real — just dying a lot in the game. It's shrinking my little gaming pee— shit, not the car. Fifty— what is it? Fifty feet of fucker. How did I play this without cussing before? I think cussing is really therapeutic. I think it can help you get out a lot of pent-up emotions. Oh shit, I just ran into everything. All right, come on, give me all your fucking truck. Come on. Shit, I've got like no energy left. Come on, finish his ass. Shit. Fifty-eight. Damn, this truck is shit. Sixty deaths. Shit. I believe that we will win. Come on, we're going to get this truck. Sixty times. I'm a glutton for punishment.
All right, what am I doing? Hold up. Sixty-eight times I've died. I need to shoot the door. I wasn't shooting the door. There we go, we got the door shot. It's hard to point your damn gun backwards, but we're going to get this. We're going to get it. I'm going to beat this fucking level if it's the last thing I do before I have a heart attack. I'm not going to have a heart attack. I take really good care of my heart. I eat a whole-plant-based diet. My circulatory system is great — that's why I get big-ass boners all the time.
Dad, Is That You? Unpause This Shit
I'm hitting the pause button. I'm paused. How did that even happen? I don't know. There must be a ghost or something fucking with me right now. Dad, is that you? Unpause this shit. Why is the B button pausing it? What the fuck? My gun's not firing. My fucking gun's not firing. I broke this game, man. Fuck, I broke this whole game right now. It is glitching, dude. It is glitching. This shit is pausing. Did I break this thing? That's really fucked. Shit is falling apart. Do I need another controller now? I'm hitting every button and it's not working. Son of a bitch. Is it the game? The game's like, "All right, you done fucked up too many times on this level. That's it, I'm going to pause it." Yeah. If I restart — is it the controller or the game? Let me get a different controller. That's right, I've got more controllers for this kind of situation.
It was the controller. I fucking broke the controller. Holy shit, I fucking broke the controller. That's pretty epic. That's a cheap-ass controller, too — I just got that cheap-ass controller. All right, now we're going to use this one — an old-school original Nintendo controller. That's what, 73 times? Seventy-three deaths. What was I talking about? I will not be defeated. I will not be defeated that easily. You have to try harder to crush my soul. You will not crush my soul. Bullshit — I shot the door open. God's like, "Fuck you, no you didn't." All right, whatever, God. Whatever. All right, send your son who died for my sins down here to help me, because the internet's got nothing better to do. Yeah, I ran into the door. Come on, man.
Eighty-Five Deaths and Still Not Defeated
Oh, all right, I think I've died at least — I think this is 81 times. I don't even care. No, I had the truck shot. I'm going to beat this. I'm going to beat it. The problem is I'm never going to want to turn this game off after I beat this shit either, because if I ever want to play this again I want to play the next level. We're still in the first 20 minutes of the movie right now. Hell yeah. Fuck that, we're going to take this game down. Take this game down. I'm going to run down the block naked after I take this shit out. I think that's like 85 times, man.
Hey, what's cool, for all those commenters who are like, "He's on drugs" — no, I'm not. I just know how to have a good time when I'm sober. Oh God, I hit the pause button. Let's not do that. Oh, I need to hold back on this for a second — I don't need to break another controller. Oh shit, I'm getting hard. Here we go. Is this the end? Somebody set this up. Oh shit, come on, this is as far as we've ever gotten.
This is as far as we've ever gotten. Oh fuck. Oh my god. Oh, come on. The fuck is another one — is that John? That's John. Oh, stopped again. Chat said the game was going too easy on us now — I don't care. Near a hundred deaths to beat that shit. Without the infinite lives it would have taken more than four hours to beat that shit. Oh my god. I believe that we will win. Holy — oh, look at that. Why does that guy not look like Arnold? Holy shit, I actually loved that a whole lot. I like getting my ass whooped.
A Hundred Grand in Twenty-Four Hours
Oh my. Michael said, if you had to spend $100k in 24 hours, what would you buy? My first thought — and this is not what I'd actually do — but my first thought was, god damn, that'd be a lot of hookers, wouldn't it? Oh my god, I could have a whole small town for $100k. I could probably have — I guess it depends on what level of hookers you've got — but I could have like 500 hookers. No, I'm just playing. That was the first thought that crossed my mind. That's definitely not what I would do, but that was the first thought. If I had a hundred thousand dollars to spend in 24 hours, I'd just pay off my existing debts, is what I would do, for sure.
Mo, no — John made me not kill. Oh my god, I have to shoot people in the legs. Come on, John Connor really screwed me on this one. Oh my goodness. Thank god I got to this level. Oh, I have to shoot them in the legs. I can't shoot them in the face, so I have to duck down to shoot them. That's nice. That's real nice. Thanks a lot, John. Well, I can't go through this — whoa. Let's do — oh yeah, you're dead.
I Love the Mental Institution
Oh, we're in the mental institution now. I love the mental institution. Somebody in chat said, "You would love the mental institution, Jerry." I worked in a mental institution before. The more contact I have with humans, the more I learn. Hell yeah, we're riding up the elevator. Let's go, baby. Yeah, I worked in a mental institution, and one of the main things that stuck with me is the only difference between me and these motherfuckers is they don't know when to shut up. I realize I should keep the crazy shit I'm thinking to myself, and they don't.
When I felt so desperate and insecure and really wanted tips and really wanted stars, hardly anybody sent anything. And now I'm so grateful, so self-confident, that I don't even pay much attention to how many stars or tips I get on an individual stream, and now you all send more than ever. It's like one of those life things — like when you're absolutely desperate and you really want to find somebody to date, nobody will go out with you, and then you just kind of relax, focus on your life, and then you find dates really easily all of a sudden without any effort. That's the strangest thing in life.
Cyberdyne Systems, 120 Lives Later
Hell yeah, we're getting deep into this game. Have you noticed how many lives I've lost? Oh nice, we're at Cyberdyne Systems now, aren't we? Have you noticed how many lives I have lost playing this game? I have lost like a hundred. I think I've lost like a hundred, and at least 110, maybe 120 lives playing this game. It's fucking nuts. You've got to cheat on this game. You've got to get the Game Genie on this game, man. This is wild. Stars for anybody who could beat this without cheating. Oh my god, right? You're an absolute god if you could beat this game without cheating. I mean, I probably could if I straight up put the hours into it. I'm sure I could. I don't know how many hours I'd need to put into it, though.
Watched or Paid?
If you want to put the question in, like, would you rather be watched or paid? I'd rather be watched. I'd rather be the most-watched gamer than make some millions of dollars from streaming, because once you're comfortable, money is kind of pointless. What are you working for? My hope is to help you feel good, to learn something, to laugh. That's my hope — to uplift our world, to help more of us be united and connected. And so I'd much rather reach a bigger audience than just make lots of money. Oh my god, we had some big energy at the beginning of this stream. This was nuts. I've got to wind down now.
Billy says, "You're changing lives — to me that's better than any amount of money." Exactly. To me, changing lives is way better. I look at it as, as good as my life is today, I have a duty to give back for the rest of my life. If I give back for the rest of my life, then I'll probably be even. I think we broke my record for saying fuck in one stream today, don't you think? I think we really had a special stream today. This game got me going real good, and if you want to see me get my ass whooped in more of these, they're all on my Games playlist.
All right, I don't think I'm going to be able to do this anymore. I'm going to be able to do this — I don't know what exactly to do. I think we might call it quits on this level here. I need one more barrel to go up that elevator, but I can't find another barrel. Oh, I'm terminated.