On December 24, 2024, I sat down to film feeling pretty uninspired. I'm Jerry Banfield, a full-time crypto YouTuber, and this was my 4,957th day on YouTube. I generally make about three videos a day, and this morning I'd just been staring blankly at the computer screen. It's Christmas Eve. The family is down the street hanging out, and I've got a lot to do today. I'm going to an AA meeting, and I'll meet my sponsor before that. I want to go shoot some basketball, have fun, keep in shape, and see how many three-pointers I can hit. I get a massage later. I've got a Christmas party later. And I'm sitting here thinking, come on, baby, this is time to film.
The meme coin I could launch, and why I won't
I was looking at FOMOWELL.com today and noticed somebody already created a Jerry Banfield meme coin there that got an $8,000 market cap. I could probably make one myself and then make it official. I could probably turn $1,000 into 10 or 20,000. But at what point does that start to become meaningless? Do I really want to just pump another one of my own meme coins up and then sell it? I don't know. That's a bit of a value conflict. We're so trained that making money is success, but is that a way to make money that feels good?
I want to make videos that are really meaningful for people. When I did that Conversations with God crypto video, a bunch of people actually messaged me about it. That was one of the few videos I've done recently where people said they cried watching it, that it was really meaningful and helpful and they could relate to it. So do I want to just launch a meme coin and make myself some more money? When you get on the inside, it's too easy to just make yourself money, and it gets unsatisfying. Isn't there something better I can do? Maybe there's not. We'll see. I went down this exact road once before, and trading meme coins was horrible even on ICP, so I know where this tends to lead.
Why I love these diary entries
I figured I can at least talk about my own life in the last 24 hours. I'm grateful that putting these titles on the way I have is getting watched a bit more often. I love these diary entries, and I love the chance to reflect on my life. I think it's helpful for all of us to reflect on our life a little bit, to think about what we're doing in the bigger picture and consider if there's any changes we want to make. I think there's something worth doing all the time. If you like sitting with this kind of reflection, that's most of what lives in my Life playlist.
The little things we do for each other matter
Yesterday I played tennis after I filmed my diary entry, and I went to yoga first. I left a few minutes early, and I said bye to the girl I'd had juice with the other day. It's little actions like that I pay attention to. I appreciate it if somebody I know doesn't get a chance to say hi because you're in the middle of class, or came late, or whatever, and then leaves early and says bye on the way out. I always appreciate when people do that with me. So I try and take those little actions. Those little things we do in life with each other matter. I try and give what I like being on the receiving end of, although some people don't like getting what I like getting, which makes life tricky.
Playing tennis with someone better than me
I played tennis with a guy yesterday I play with every week who beats me every week. I'm in there playing tennis, and I love the emotions. There are few things that get me that emotional, where internally I'm going, yes, when I hit a great shot, and no whenever I double fault or hit a shot into the net. The guy yesterday beat me 6-1, 6-0. So there was a lot of no, and a lot of anger and frustration inside. But at the same time, I'm thinking, I love you, buddy. I'm glad you're out here. You're playing with this guy who's better at tennis than you, you're learning, you're exercising. Oh, you suck, I can't believe you hit the ball this way. It's fun.
The opportunity cost of Age of Empires
I was thinking too, I'd love to play Age of Empires again. But there's the opportunity cost. It's such the biggest thing in life. If I play Age of Empires again, what does that mean for the rest of my life? I can't just install Age of Empires on my computer, play it for an hour or two, and have nothing else in my life change. If I'm not playing video games and watching movies, it's also easy to tell my kids that they can't do that either. But if I start playing video games, it's like, screw it, let's just get the tablets out of my hands and play, let's buy another Xbox, let's all sit on screens all day. I know that might seem like an extremist point of view, but those little decisions matter in life. And I also know if I start playing Age of Empires, then I probably quit playing tennis, because they go in the same space in my life. I work through a lot of that screens-versus-real-life tension out loud in my Games playlist.
You don't have to see anyone just because of the day
Yesterday I went to the AA meeting, and we were talking about getting sober, as usual. I shared about how, for the holidays, I don't have to be around people. I think it's crazy how so many people right now are so stressed out. Oh my God, I have to see my family. No, you don't. I don't care what day of the year it is, you don't have to go see people just because of the day of the year. I don't have to see anybody ever just because of what day it is.
So many people around me, like the kids and Laura yesterday, were picking up all these emotions. And I don't have to participate in that. I don't care what day it is. I've made it clear with my family. There's one member right now I just don't want to be around, because they're bad vibes. They're rude to me, and they're rude to several other people too, and I won't tolerate it. I don't care what the occasion is. I don't care if it's happy, joyous holidays or somebody's dead. I'm not being around them, because you can set boundaries. People who drag you down, who are rude, who are nasty, who are mean, are abusing you. The nicest thing you can do is prevent them from having that opportunity.
Yes, it's one thing to try and love your enemies and love the people who hate you. There are a lot of people who hate my crypto videos. I made a video about that yesterday where I kind of let it out, because I want to do videos that really are beyond just crypto and dig into some of the deeper stuff in life. I did a video about how people hate Jerry Banfield, how altcoin holders hate Jerry Banfield crypto, and I looked at some of the things critics have said, and that got me all fired up. The first version was so toxic that I refilmed it to tone it down a little bit. Now I'm wondering, do I want to put a toxic version somewhere paid and subscription-only? Do I want to put non-public content in a private space, something like a place where I could just upload it and only people who pay could see it? I think it'd be nice to express some other sides of myself. At the same time, I can share here about the things I'm not saying as much publicly, and I think that's helpful. This is also the kind of behind-the-scenes thinking I bring straight to the people inside the Jerry Banfield Family.
I find that, ironically, sometimes the people who say the things that offend you and bother you can be a great teacher. But if all somebody does is be rude, ignore you, and be offensive, there's a place for that, a small amount of the time. Sure, a small amount of the time my kids and my wife are rude, nasty, or toxic. But what's important is there's got to be a lot of good to make up for that bad.
The 90-10 rule for every relationship
To me, the ratio needs to be 90-plus percent. Nine times out of 10, my wife should be being nice to me, being of service, helping out, being a team member. And if 10 percent of the time she's frustrated, that's acceptable. Maybe my ratio is even more like 95 to 5. I have a low tolerance for people who can't have a fantastic relationship. I'm willing to get rid of anybody out of my life when I can't have that high ratio of good to bad, of love and joy and connection to toxic and struggle.
Sure, every relationship makes sense to have a little bit of that struggle in there. The issue is when that struggle becomes too much. If it gets to be even 20, 30, 40 percent of our relationship that's you having a hard time, you being nasty, you struggling and won't let me help you, won't talk about it with me, then you've got to go. Go be around somebody who will put up with that, who will like that. This is an abundant world. Especially around the holidays, people feel like they have to go around these relationships, family members they've had nasty, toxic, horrible experiences with. People in Alcoholics Anonymous, sober, feeling like they have to be around family members who still drink and do drugs. No, you don't.
My kids owe me nothing
My kids are just here through me. I'm just a vehicle to get them started in this reality. They have no lifetime obligation to me. My daughter's nine, my son's six. I'm here to get them into this world. After they're self-sufficient, my responsibility is over, and their obligation to me is over. Anything after that is truly optional. That's how I look at it. I didn't talk to my own mom for several months this year.
Cutting one person out makes room for others
If you're not going to have a great relationship with me, where 90 percent of it is love and joy and quality time together, you're out of here. With my mom, it probably got only to maybe 20 percent. One or two days a week I was going over to her house, and she's just toxic, complaining about her health problems, not wanting to hear anything I have to say. Even that, I'd rather just put somebody else in there. Now, nobody can ever take the exact spot of my mother, but just cutting this one family member out of my life has made more time for other people, more space for me to take in and connect with. Other people like the girl I went to juice with at yoga. I cut this family member out, and now I want more people to fill that spot, to talk to and get to know their life.
I encourage people: you don't have to see family members who still drink. You can hang out with sober people in Alcoholics Anonymous. We're your family. We're all in an abundant world. Codependency is hanging onto these people because of the past, even though things are bad today or things need to improve.
Sometimes the nicest thing is to stay away
I'm grateful that I can go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Not everybody loves when I share, but most of the people who don't like it stay away from me, and most of the people who love it come talk to me. Sometimes the nicest thing you can do is shut your mouth. If somebody aggravates you and annoys you, just stay away from them. There are some people who can't stand me so much that I just go to different meetings than they do. There are people who have stopped going to meetings because I go there, and I've stopped going to some meetings because other people go there. And that's fine. That's law of attraction.
You don't have to go see your family, because all of humanity is your family. You've got a big family. All of us can be your family. What matters is that you're not alone. What doesn't work is continually subjecting yourself to people who abuse you, mistreat you, or are nasty to you. That can even be in the simplest form: people who just aren't nice, loving, kind, and caring enough to make up for all the crap they do.
I know I'm toxic sometimes and I offend people with my videos sometimes, but I hope at least 90 percent of what I contribute is uplifting, joyous, helping make you wealthy, and helping you think outside the box. I dig into the boundaries-and-sobriety side of all this much deeper in the truth about AA: meetings, the 12 steps, the Big Book, and sponsors.
The simple truth about losing weight
Somebody in my video yesterday, the one about why altcoin holders hate Jerry Banfield crypto, said, Jerry, you were fat shaming me. Look, I used to be 80 pounds more overweight than I am now, and I'm here to tell you it's simple. If you're overweight and you don't want to be anymore, it's so easy. All you need to do is a whole-plant-based diet and you'll effortlessly drop weight: mostly whole plant foods, fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains, beans. Obviously you need to customize, so if you're allergic to something, don't eat that. The book How Not to Die explains exactly how to do that, the research and the execution that works for me.
Get your sleep every night. Do not eat at least five or six hours before you go to bed, so your digestive system is done by the time you go to bed and can rest with the rest of your body at night. Then live an active lifestyle, do whatever exercise you can, even if it's just walking. If you can play tennis or basketball, do more vigorous exercise. If you're 200 pounds overweight, don't just run into having a heart attack, but work into it. Yes, that offends some people, and I say it anyway. And if you're underweight, for me, all I'd need to do is eat some meat and I'll put weight right back on. It's that easy. Now, all of us have slightly different bodies, but a lot of times what works for me will work for you too.
Getting sober is the same basic process
It's like getting sober. Everybody has different ways of getting sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, but most of us did the same basic stuff. We took an honest look at our life. We talked with somebody about it. We confessed the nature of our wrongs, our sins, the hidden secrets we had. We went out there and tried to be nice, set new intentions with people, and made amends where we'd been wrong. We continue to work through this process. We tried new things like prayer and meditation to expand our spirituality and our idea of who we are. We have a spiritual awakening that, wow, there's a bigger world. And then we go out and try to help others. Most of us in Alcoholics Anonymous who got sober did that. That's the basic thing.
It's okay to feel anger
It's funny that I didn't have much to say a few minutes ago, and now I can't stop talking, because I love it. I had a nice day yesterday, and I have a nice day almost every day. I've had a string of nice days. And I felt some anger yesterday. I felt some anger about the state of crypto, how so many people have been lied to, cheated from, and stolen from. And it's okay. I feel anger. It's okay. I have human emotions.
I was listening to Conversations with God yesterday, and I stopped listening to it. What bothers me is when some spiritual voice, God, whoever, trying to put out this spiritual literature, starts basically making things like having feelings wrong, or putting it out there that there's a right way to live and a wrong way to live. There's not. There are consequences. If you go do certain things, other things are going to happen because of those things you did. Everything has consequences; you could call that karma. But even there, people will do the same set of things, a whole bunch of people will commit the same crime, and some will end up as president and others will end up in prison or dead. So even then, the world is an amazing, constantly creative endeavor. I'm the one creating my world, and you're the one creating your world, and we've created this together. I went even deeper into that thread in my conversation with God about Bitcoin, crypto, and the ICP price.
Connecting with you across time
I'm thinking of you and connecting with you across time right now, because while I'm recording this, you're not watching it, and while you're watching it, I'm not recording it, but I'm thinking of you while I record it.
Testing persistence with tips
I tipped a few people randomly in open chat today. I like to test people's persistence. The people who message me once for a tip, I ignore them. Some of the people message me 20 or 30 times for a tip. Yeah, I'll send you a couple bucks. Sometimes life is just testing your persistence. Other times you might need to stop.
Like my son this morning. He likes to wrestle and smack and hit and tickle. I've never been into playing like that. Maybe when I was a kid my brother and I used to play tackle football, so maybe I was, when I was a kid. My son says, I want to play tackle football with you, Dad. And I tell him, you're too small to play with me, I can just push you down, it's no fun. It's not fun for me to just push you down. I just want to hug and slug on my son, I don't want to wrestle him. This morning I finally pushed him out of the bed, and he's screaming at me. We asked you to stop messing with us, stop hitting us. If people ask you for space, please give me some space, please step away, please get away from me, that is an instance where maybe you shouldn't persist. Maybe you shouldn't persist in trying to be around them, or you should wait and come back at another time. Sometimes when people are asking for space, just give it to them. It doesn't mean you have to give it to them forever, but give it to them.
At the same time, sometimes in life you've got to be persistent. I have a lot of people who message me and want stuff from me, which I've done to myself being a YouTuber and especially in crypto. The way you stand out is being persistent, unless I tell you to stop or I block you. Somebody messaged me some nasty thing this morning on open chat, and on the first message I just blocked them. They shut off the opportunity to contact me because their first message was that I should stop hating on these big-market-cap altcoins that clearly deserve respect, why don't I put a picture of my old lady out there while I'm at it. Blocked. But some of these other people are in countries where just a few dollars makes a big difference to them, and they ask 20 or 30 times for me to send them a tip. So sometimes I just do. Here's two bucks. I have $400 sitting on open chat. Sure, you can have two dollars. Why not? I feel good giving it, they feel good receiving it. Then I get 10 more messages from people who saw that. They tell all their friends, dude, this guy just gave me two dollars, and then they all message, hey, you gave my friend, how about me? That's fun.
Selling Uthena, and going to Christmas after all
I just got an offer to sell Uthena, which is nice. I built Uthena.com and have been trying to sell that thing for years. I'd love to take a few thousand bucks to get that off my plate. So that's what I'm doing today.
I think I'll be able to go to Christmas with the family today, because the one family member won't be there. So I think I'll be able to go to Christmas Eve tonight, and that's nice. Wow, I think I finally ran out of stuff to say.