Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, you are about to experience the Jerry Banfield show — today playing some Age of Empires 2 Definitive Edition. If you have this game, please load it up and we'll hop in game together.
Now, I'm doing this and some of you might think, well, why don't you play the tutorial? Why don't you play a bot first instead of going straight into a 1v1 game where you're probably gonna lose? Well, I might as well give somebody else the chance to get a win while I learn how to play the game — or let somebody look pretty funny on stream when they lose to a guy who hasn't played in 20 years. Just enjoy playing the game. It's really nice to play games where you can just enjoy playing the game for the sake of playing the game.
Losing Our First Game
Oh, that boar's big as hell. You got slayed, though. It's nice to play games where you can just enjoy playing, because the better you get at a game, it'll often actually make it harder to enjoy it sometimes — if you're not winning, you just won't have any fun.
Do I have villagers sitting there? Stop it, dude. We need to select idle villagers. Oh my god, I just have villagers sitting there. We're literally villagers playing with themselves. They're just slaying. Can I hit them with my villagers? Oh, the villagers can actually do damage — that's good. All right, we're gonna need the villagers to get in on the action. Skirmishers — what are skirmishers weak against? Kill! He builds something the size of a Scout and my villagers walk around beating them down. Good. Lock it in. There we go — get in there, get in there. All right, we may be able to repel this first attack. I think I'm sensing victory in this first attack. There we go — I think we got this first attack repelled. I think we got it. All right, there's hope — we repelled the first attack. Do we have any more military units? Nope. All villagers. That might be the end. All right, I think we'll quit that one.
All right, lost our first game. If you want to get in game, come on in here. We didn't make enough military that game. We were actually doing pretty good early on. Can I have graphs? Oh yeah — we actually were ahead at one point, and then he built military. All right, so we just need to do some more military.
Fire Galleys Are Devastating
One of those fire ships — oh, those are fire galleys. Yeah, that wrecked mine. How does he have fire galleys? I don't even see where to build those. Those annihilated my war galley, and those fire things are devastating. I don't know — is this special units? Have I got anything that can counter those? I don't see it. Oh my gosh, those fire ships are horrible. How can I make one of those? Oh, he's waiting right here. Hit him, demolition ship — what are you doing? Hit him! Kill! Come on, man, get him — it's right on his tail. Come on, man, schnell! For God's sakes, hit him! We need another town center. Can we kill this ship? Thank you — it finally ran into it at last.
Nobody Plays Call of Duty to Relax
I'm growing tired of playing COD Mobile because it's annoying to lose at it. And yeah — if the game's not fun to lose, then you're not playing the right game. If it should be fun even though he's winning like the whole time, you're playing the right game — and this was still fun. Isn't this so relaxing? Some of y'all say that you play Call of Duty to relax late at night. How do you play Call of Duty relaxed? Like, what? Call of Duty is for when I want to game amped up. No one plays COD to relax. People tell me they play COD to relax and I'm like — what?
I noticed that before I came to AA and started trying to figure everything out, I didn't even understand what it felt like to be relaxed. I didn't even know the feeling of being relaxed. I thought screaming at Call of Duty was being relaxed. Really, if you're relaxed, you're peaceful — just kind of enjoying what you're doing.
Our First Age of Empires 2 Win
Now let's see how this fight goes. This can be over like instantly once the fight starts. I mean, my army's kind of ridiculous right now compared to his. I'm grateful it matched us with a person who's on my skill level. All right, let's fight — let's take them out now. Oh yeah, here it is, ready for action. Here comes the action — the war elephants are going in. It is time. I've got trebuchets up front — take that town center out. I mean, that's the logical thing. It's going down — I'm yelling timber! It's going down. Now we're having fun. More war elephants. We need our war elephants to move faster, too. Dude — oh nice, I can research spies. I'll be able to see where every one of his units is. In Age of Empires 1 we got stuck once — somebody kind of trolled us and had like one villager off on the other side of the map and went AFK.
Hey, our first Age of Empires 2 win — how about that? All right, GGs, a nice win there. He didn't even build any military. That's interesting — we were pretty much annihilating the whole time. I went really hard on my economy and was able to get that military up, and then he didn't build a military the whole time. That's cool. He actually went Feudal Age first, and that wasn't a very good move. Where's the villager count? Oh my god, look at the resources collected — that's outrageous. That was fun. I'm glad we got to win a game. Oh my goodness, do you see how many arrows he got hit by? Let's go.
Spawning Right Next to the Enemy
All right, let's go get that boar — it almost instant-killed him, that's funny. Oh, he's right next to me. What? He's right next to me! Okay, that's interesting — I didn't realize we were so close to each other. Oh my goodness — here, why don't you stick yours in there. We're right next to each other, so I guess this is gonna be a fast game. Gonna have to rush. Do we want to push our army? Here comes his army. Come on, move correctly, army. Oh, he's gonna get slaughtered — all those units are gonna die. Am I garrisoned? Nope. All right, he just lost a bunch of his units — or he's got a bunch of archers. Let's take his trebuchet out and see if we can take his castle too. That fort was murdering us — gotta get out of there. Oh my goodness, that fort murdered — that crushed us all. Does he have pikemen? We need to counter those with archers, don't we? Oh my goodness, all those pikemen annihilated my cavalry, dude. Ah, this player made really good moves with his military. Good game. I've got a lot of resources — maybe I can make a comeback. That might be game. Round three — yeah, we were real close. I actually had a superior military for a lot of mine, but he played his military like a veteran and outplayed me. GGs.
The Illuminati and the Law of Attraction
So we're gonna just join the worldwide Illuminati and get four million dollars in your bank account? Is it that easy? I mean, it's possible. I have an open mind — it's possible. And if you're gaming, I think the ideal is always to be having fun. It's like, what's the point if you're not having fun?
Then there's the law of attraction. Have you read anything about the law of attraction? I'm big on the law of attraction, and in my experience the law of attraction explains why opposites attract — because they want the same thing. It's why my wife and I attracted each other: we both wanted the same kind of void filled in our life. And you know one thing about life I've come to believe? If you're really wishing something could be different, or you're wanting to change a mistake in the past, there's no need for that — because life will give you another chance to change the past, to have the exact same lesson you had already, over again. If you were sad you messed something up, life will give you another shot. Almost the exact same scenario will come up in your life.
Demolition Ships and One More Win
Oh my god, look at all these demolition guys. My god, that was a lot of demolition guys — that's some really good strategy he just used. Oh no, they just went in on us — I'm just running off the attack, man. This is so close. I think that one came down to my tower strategy. Oh yeah, the battering rams are on the town center now — that's good, take the town center out. GGs. Yep, there we go — thanks for that win, my friend. GGs. We were just going hard the whole game there — it's annihilated.
I'm grateful we could win some games just doing quick match after years of not playing. If you enjoyed watching me get slayed by boars, fire galleys, and pikemen on the way to our first Age of Empires 2 wins, there are plenty more gaming streams like this one on my Games playlist.