Dating in 2026 is basically like Call of Duty Warzone, and this is the latest story I'm telling myself to feel better, because I've been frustrated with dating. I feel like I'm jumping into a 100-person free-for-all, especially on dating apps. It's like I'm in this 100-person free-for-all, and me and the other guys are just trying to compete and destroy each other, trying to step over each other, sending roses and priority likes to get noticed, and then trying to say the best message. And almost all of us end up losing and just going back and playing the game again.
Why Play a Game Like This at All?
However, here's what redeems all of this. Why do you jump in and play something like Call of Duty Warzone, a 100-person free-for-all battle royale? Why do you do that? Oh, because it's fun. Really? It's fun to jump into a first-person shooter and simulate fighting to the death? That's fun? It's really about the story you tell yourself, because I'm sure there's somebody somewhere in the world who would look at Call of Duty Warzone like hell. They'd say, this is hell. I'm jumping in here and I have to constantly fight other people, and what is there to win? You win and you just go up in a helicopter and leave. So what? The game's not worth playing, it's not worth winning, and it's miserable the whole time. That would probably be a normal person's reaction to Call of Duty Warzone: this is terrible, I suck at the game, why would I want to play this?
Well, dating as a man in 2026 certainly feels like Warzone. I'm just dropping in game after game, trying to get first place with one woman one time, and then over and over: lose, lose. I'm 80th. I'm 60th. And honestly, the losses are even more heartbreaking when you get second or third or fifth or tenth. It's like, man, I was almost there. I almost got it. Or the wins are short-lived. A few weeks ago, I got to number one with this woman. She didn't want to date anybody else. I was really excited. I was like, yes, I won! Everyone, I won! And then I was having to drop back in the next week, because winning was short-lived in that case.
What Winning Actually Looks Like
But here's what's beautiful about dating: if you get dating right, you might not ever have to play the game again. Imagine winning one game of Call of Duty Warzone where you're just a champion for the next 40 years, and you end up having an amazing life, and kids if you want them, because of it. Dating is a game worth playing, if you tell yourself the same kind of stories you tell playing Warzone. In Warzone I'd tell myself stories like, oh, I'm getting better. I'm keeping myself young because of my reaction times. I like the adrenaline rush that comes from dropping in and seeing who's going to live. The games take 30 minutes, and I'm only up 16 hours a day, so that's only 32 games I could possibly play if I got up and did nothing but play Warzone all day.
There were days where I won five games of Warzone out of maybe 16 or 20 in a single day, and I felt really high on some of those days. And I had people watching me play — hundreds of thousands of people in a single stream sometimes on Facebook Gaming would watch me play Call of Duty Warzone. Then there were other days where I'd play for five hours live and not win a single game, and I'd feel horrible. I'd feel so disheartened, just miserable. But I'd come back and play the game. I finally quit playing the game, though, because it wasn't worth winning. Just going up in a helicopter and triumphing at number one for a minute — well, once you've won hundreds of times, it's like, so what? Winning doesn't feel as good anymore, but losing still feels bad.
Play a Game Worth Winning
This is why I think it's really important with dating to make sure you're playing a game worth winning. A lot of people are playing the dating game for just casual hookups and stuff, and to me that's kind of like just playing Warzone. After you've had a certain number of casual hookups, why even bother anymore? It's the same basic actions, the same basic stuff with everybody, and most of the time you're still losing anyway. Then the wins are short-lived and you're right back to playing the game the next day. To me, the version of the dating game that's worth playing is finding a long-term relationship — finding someone you really love and building a life with her.
And honestly, I'm not sure what's going on right now outside my door. With this kind of mindset, and a sexy face like this, and a purpose for living, and proof that I've already had kids — and with everyone who keeps joining the Jerry Banfield family, I'm going to have a lot of financial abundance coming in — I'm not sure why there aren't women lined up at my front door right now. I don't get why they're not, because so many women say they want a guy like me who's emotionally intelligent and available, who has a purpose for his life, wants kids, and values family. I'm even reading the Bible in here now, and going to church whenever I can make it. I swear, between my kids, a yoga class, or an AA meeting, the time slot for church is insanely competitive, and they don't have it that often during the week. But I keep playing the game, because I know the game is worth winning.
I Know the Game Is Worth Winning Because I Already Won It
Knowing the game is worth winning helps me survive and last through it, because a lot of people say the dating game is broken, that it's not worth winning. That's inaccurate. I had an amazing relationship with an amazing woman for 15 years. The game is worth playing. I met her in 2011, and before that, going back to high school in 2001 when I was a senior, for the next 10 years I had one long-term relationship — a year and a half with my ex in college — and then a couple of short-term things lasting a few months. Most of that decade I was single, and I was jumping in every day. Some woman on her profile asked, why are you dating? My answer: if I'm not in a relationship, I'm dating.
Even in my last marriage, my mind was already shifting towards dating before I got out. I was already looking around trying to find my next wife before I even got separated. I'm not happy to say that, and I would never do that again. If my mind gets like that next time, then we'll just need to get separated then. But I'm programming it differently for the next time I marry a woman: I'm going in the ground or in the burner before I'm getting out of that marriage. This next time, it doesn't matter how bad it is. Unless she ends it — and really, my ex ended it last time also — unless she ends it, I'm not ending it. I'm never consenting to end it. I'm never agreeing to end it. I don't care how bad it is, we're going to stay together. That, to me, is a game worth winning.
The Grind Is Part of the Game
If you play Warzone, if you play video games, you jump into situations like that and you're willing to suffer and struggle through the game — then dating is a game worth suffering and struggling through as well. I've spent so many thousands of hours playing Call of Duty just miserable, complaining about the game and the developers: this is imbalanced, this is broken, that's lag. At least half of gaming is listening to guys complain, isn't it? "These developers really don't know what they're thinking with this latest patch, this gun is so imbalanced, oh, I'm grinding." How many people are playing video games just grinding for something pointless? At least when I'm grinding at dating, I'm grinding for a lot of potential pleasure and joy and companionship and fun and adventures. And yes, it hurts more to lose the dating game than it does Warzone — I guess I like it rough, because it only hurts me a little bit to lose a Warzone game, while it's pretty crushing sometimes to get second or third place in the dating game and not first. It's like, ah, I can't feel my legs! But it's a game worth playing.
So many people are trying to convince you to give up on dating, which is crap. In my experience, there's nothing else you're going to do in your life that will bring you as much happiness and joy as dating, especially since dating is generally the avenue you're going to need to have a family. And having a family, to me, is just one of the best things you can do with your life. It's crazy how many people have been talked into thinking that shallow, materialistic stuff is going to replace the joy of having a baby, the joy of caring for another human being. Real love is giving and serving. I want to serve in a relationship. I want to give to a woman and be there for her, and I want to find a woman who's ready to receive. A lot of these single women are not ready to receive — they're ready to tell you what to do, diagnose you, tell you what's wrong with you, and need space. Isn't there a woman out there who actually takes good care of herself, who's healthy, who wants kids? I'm sure there's a woman out there like that.
Maybe she'll join the Jerry Banfield family and send me a DM — that'd be a really cool love story. Maybe I'll meet her in person at yoga. Or maybe I'll keep sitting on these dating apps and she'll come snipe me off one of them. My ex sniped some guy off these dating apps, and apparently — I get very little information, so I've got to keep repeating the same limited information — he'd been single a long time, nearly a decade, and she just sniped him off this dating app. So it's a game worth playing. Don't give up. Maybe at a certain point dating is not worth it anymore, but I haven't seen that point yet. To me, for at least the next 30 years, dating is very worth it. I aim to be one of those guys at 90 who's either still chasing my wife or chasing some other woman around up there.
Mark My Words
I hope this analogy helps you understand: it's okay if the game hurts. It's okay if the game is rough. It's okay if you lose. When I hadn't played Warzone for a while, it took me 27 games to win a 100-person free-for-all — and I'm good at Warzone. I don't know how many times I've played the dating game, but I've been trying to play every day, and maybe I won for a week at one point. I'm going to keep playing until I win. I'm going to keep playing until I win so hard that — mark my words, on August 6, 2026 as I write this — I'm going to have a woman I'm really proud to show you, and we're going to talk dating together on my Dating playlist one day, so I can say: see, you can win the game too. Before I won that 27th Warzone game, I knew I could win, and in the games before that, I knew I could win. I know I can win this dating game. I already won it before for 15 years.
If you want help with your own game, let me look at your dating profile — schedule a call with me and let's work together.
And remember: I won the dating game before, and you can win the dating game too.