Deciding to Cold Approach Starting Right Now
It's August 11, 2026 here with me, full-time YouTuber — real, raw, authentic. What was I saying? Squirrel. I don't have ADHD. I'm Jerry Banfield, and here's what I've felt so good about in the last 24 hours. Yesterday morning I got up and I was watching somebody's cold approach videos, where guys walk up to women, say hi, give them a compliment, and start talking. They often get rejected — sometimes a woman walks by and runs away from them — but other times they get Instagrams, they get WhatsApps, they get phone numbers. I'm like, I'm doing that starting right now. I'm going to cold approach as often as I possibly can.
I filmed my vlog and did my work in the morning. Then I went to go get my teeth cleaned at the dentist, which was actually an awesome experience — and I had to check when I filmed my vlog. I filmed the vlog at 9:05, before the dentist. This is so interesting; I can't imagine how I could have more fun than this. So I had an awesome teeth cleaning and a fantastic conversation with my dental hygienist — I've known her for a few years.
Then I went over to a yoga studio I don't usually go to, because I wouldn't have made it to my usual one on time. And it was funny — first I went to go to a different studio I used to go to a lot, and then there was some drama there. So I pulled in and started feeling bad, and I'm like, listen, you've got to follow and go where you feel good. Don't go somewhere you feel bad. Don't message someone you feel bad with — just stay away. So I'm like, no, I'm not going back there. Let me go to this other studio.
Cold Approaching the Yoga Studio Manager
I walk in and there are a couple of friendly women at the front desk. I go into the class — it's much smaller than I'm used to, and it's a really easy class compared to the hot, hot power flows I usually do. So I roll in, do the class, and I'm like, all right, who am I cold approaching? Let's just see. I try not to do it inside the yoga studio space itself if I can help it. But I forgot my credit card in the car — I didn't have one on file — so I go out and get it, come back in, and I'm talking to the manager at the yoga studio. And I'm like, this is who you're going to cold approach. Because she's being super friendly and she's asking me personal questions. She's clearly pretty open. So I'm like, all right, execute cold approach routines.
I transition out of polite conversation and get into what I want to know. I say, "You are so funny and so cute. What are the odds you're single?" And she says, "High." I'm like, "Really? I would love to take you out on a date." Do you see how powerful those two sentences were emotionally? My hair stood up a little bit when I said that. They felt a little dangerous emotionally — I'd just crossed the line from "this is a work environment and I'm being polite" to "hey look, I'd like to take you out, and you can see where that might go." And what did she say after that? She's like, "Great, I've already got your phone number in the database here. I'm at work and I'm the manager right now, so I'll talk to you later about this." I'm like, all right, cool. There were a couple more sentences exchanged, I headed out, and I'm like, okay, now we play the waiting game.
I left feeling so good. I'm like, that was bold. That felt manly. That felt confident. And then I got my phone out and recorded like ten cold approach videos, because cold approach sounds so intimidating, but the reward is the payoff — I felt fantastic after that interaction.
The Waiting Game
I went home after that and filmed some more videos. The kids came over and I still hadn't heard from her. I'm like, oh well. I texted a couple of other women I was supposed to have dates with that got canceled — a tennis date rained out, and the other one from online. The one who responded said, "Hey, yeah, let's do tennis. I'm not sure exactly when yet with work, but I'll let you know." So I'm like, all right, cool. And I'm like, I still haven't heard from the woman. Then my head starts going crazy. Is she going to think it's weird? Is she going to be like, oh, he was harassing me at work, or some stupid stuff like that? And I'm like, well, maybe I'll hear from her, maybe I won't. It's okay. I feel good about putting in the effort. And if somehow that was wrong — asking out a woman who's single — then I won't go there anymore. I can deal with that. I already have one yoga studio I don't go to anymore, and there are lots more in this town.
Then I'm helping the kids and I see an email — an email from the woman at the yoga studio. She says, "I didn't actually have your phone number, but I found your email. Here's my phone number." I'm like, let's go. You boy got the club going up on a Tuesday. Yes, that's what I'm talking about. That felt so good. And that is something I'm going to do a whole lot more of. It doesn't matter if they're not interested at all, because that's the default — they're not interested. All that matters is finding women who are interested in having dates with me, and who are very single, and taking them out on a date. That's good for them, it's good for me, and it's good for everybody else too.
So I felt so good after that, and I'm like, all right, we begin playing the game right now. We're going to wait to message her until nighttime, because it's an email — there's no expectation of a prompt reply on an email, so I don't need to wait around to message her back.
A Hundred Three-Pointers in Fifty Minutes
Then it's time to take the kids to basketball. It's 6 PM, so I take the kids to basketball at the Y, and thankfully there are courts open instead of all the kids being all over the courts. So I'm like, let's see if I can hit a hundred three-pointers within an hour. I am draining these three-pointers. What I do is I step up — I've hit zero three-pointers — and I say one, shoot, miss. One, shoot, miss. Go grab the ball as fast as possible. One, shoot, miss. One — goes in, let's go. Two — shoot, miss — goes in, three, three. And I just keep counting, and all I do is obsess about the number. Three, three — that's it, let's go. Four, four's in. Five, five's in. Six. Oh, seven's in, eight's in. Sometimes I'll hit four or five three-pointers in a row and I'll lose count. I'm like, damn, that was so fast — did I miss one? Did I add one?
Over the next 50 minutes, I hit a hundred three-pointers. That's two three-pointers a minute — one every 30 seconds. Just think about how long it takes to line up, shoot, have it bounce off the rim, go grab the ball, and shoot again. And I was showing off in there. There's this really hot mom in there — she has a big wedding ring on, but I'm still showing off. The part of me that's like 18 and wants to show off in front of all the girls is still alive and well. So I did like four full-court sprints back to back, jumping, trying to do a layup — jump, lay it up on the left side, come around. And dude, I did this full-court sprint, jumped right off the three-point line, and did a one-handed finger-roll three-pointer. I was hollering after that. I'm like, dude, that is so awesome — that being born in 1984, I can be showing off on the basketball court like that. Although my knee — I did some sprints too, like I threw the ball over my head and sprinted full speed after it, and one time I felt a little something in my knee. I was like, all right, maybe we chill a little bit. Then I was catching my breath, watching my daughter play and playing with my son a little bit. And I hit a hundred three-pointers in 50 minutes. I'm just like, God, that feels good. That's what I do. This is how I roll when I'm not on camera — the same way I come at these videos so hard every day, I'm out there on the basketball court like that too.
And all the time I'm feeling so good. I'm like, this woman from the yoga studio — at work, I just picked up the woman at the desk, the manager, at work. And she went the extra mile to go get my email and give me her phone number. This is a very warm lead at this point. And I'm like, yes, I'm going to do a whole lot more of this. I'm going to teach men how to do this. There are so many women out there who are just desperate to get approached, who don't want to use dating apps — and guys aren't even approaching. I'm like, I got this.
Restraining Myself at Whole Foods
I went to a Whole Foods on the way home. There were several pretty women in that Whole Foods, and I was actually having to restrain myself from cold approaching. Because I'm like, I've got my kids in a Whole Foods — I probably don't need to be fooling around with a cold approach while I'm in the grocery store with my kids and trying to pay attention to them. So I'm like, all right, I'm only going to cold approach in the ideal environment. I'll hold off on cold approaching while I've got my kids, so I can pay attention to them, or at the store. It's funny — some guys are nervous, like, "I don't want to cold approach." Meanwhile, as soon as those routines execute in my brain, I'm like, I'm cold approaching everyone all the time. Constant cold approach. Anytime. Hi, how are you? Are you single? You're pretty. Can I get your number? Boom, boom — just getting it. I even had that song stuck in my head — "what's your phone number? Are you alone?" I was like, yes, that's awesome. So I get back home, my mom's there, and I'm like, okay, let me text this woman from the yoga studio now — and I'm going to keep it super simple.
The Texts I Sent Her
Here's what I sent her, because this stuff is hard, and I realized I need to keep things simple. I've got mystery working in my favor now. So I text her: "Hey [her name], yoga studio — this is Jerry Banfield. I enjoyed finding your number on my email." She says, "Well, hello," plus another sentence. I sent a little flirty message back. She sends one sentence back. I'm like, okay, it's time to stop messing around. I'd messaged her around 7:56 PM, and by now it's like 8:30. We've exchanged a couple of messages, and I'm like, all right, it's time. Don't waste your time. Don't waste this woman's time. We don't need to screw around on the phone.
So — remembering not to do a super long voicemail — I sent a 22-second voice memo. I acknowledged the last message she sent, said I hope she's just as much fun out as she is at work, and asked, "When are you available to go out? I'm down. If you want to do coffee" — I gave a specific location — "or a walk" — specific location — "or we could do lunch or dinner, or we could get crazy and go to the beach or the pier if you want." A 22-second message. She said, "Nice options," and that she'll take a walk with me — I won't tell you when. Ten minutes later she says she's headed to bed: "Nice to have met you today." I said, "Perfect, nice meeting you today, and I'll plan to see you for that walk." And then I tell her I'll text her the day before to confirm the time and the place. Then she hearts it this morning, and I'm like, that's how it's supposed to go. That's perfect. I don't need to mess around on the phone with her at all.
And then I'm playing into attraction — at this point I'm mysterious. She has no idea I'm a YouTuber, and we should probably keep it that way. It just feels so good. I'm like, this is what dating should feel like. That was fun. It's so validating — validating for me, validating for her. She's so pretty, and I can't wait to see her again. And I'm going to cold approach as much as I can, as long as I'm single — constantly, just constantly doing that same thing. Then I got the kids to bed for school and hung out with my mom last night. We played Exploding Kittens. I lost like immediately.
Building My Best Business System Ever
And I got my website set up now. One of these podcasts had a legitimate point — I didn't even watch the video. All I saw was the thumbnail somebody sent me that said "Jerry Banfield's worst business system ever." I'm like, okay. You all play games? Okay, I play with you. So now I'm going to make my best business system ever, on a setup to make the most money I've ever made before, and I'm going to make it all on my terms, cutting out the middleman. So now when you go to jerrybanfield.com, it shows you've got my YouTube channels, then it has the store, a leaderboard — and I'm just going to put every single thing I want to sell up there. I've started off with the chat on jerrybanfield.com: lifetime access, where finally there's no middleman. You can go straight into the chat — chat with me and everyone else who's paid. You can pay with Stripe, you can pay with ICP. And then there are new options where you can talk to me right now, this second — you just pay, I'll get a notification that you paid, I'll pop on, and I'll give you a WhatsApp, FaceTime, or Zoom call, whatever you want to put in there. I guess I need to tell the AI to put the exact option somebody would prefer in there on the backend.
And dude, it's crazy — I built all of this with AI yesterday, and I'm just getting started. I've got my browser games right there on the website. The chat access to the Skool community is still there. And I've got the one-on-one calls you can schedule in advance. Meanwhile, Amazon took my damn shirt design down because they said I need to prove that I have the rights to make a Jerry Banfield shirt. Okay, you want to play with me? I'll play with you. Say hello to my brand rights — I'll teach you a lesson. And this is awesome: how cool is it that there's a leaderboard now? I tried it with beta testing — there's a leaderboard where you can see everybody's profiles. I built my own social network now, with the community chat right there. I put the first message in, and I did beta testing to make sure it worked for somebody else too. This is so amazing.
So to me, this can be my best business system ever. I can crank out thousands and thousands of dollars on a website that can't be censored, without being beholden to third parties. I can take crypto from all over the world. I can take credit card payments from all over the world — and if I have a problem with one credit card payment processor, I just rotate it out and stick another one in. No problem. I'm going to sell all my comedy. I'm going to put courses up there. I'm going to put up a day with Jerry Banfield. Whatever I feel like, I'm going to sell all of it. Shirts — you want silver medallions? Like 99 silver medallions with my face etched on them and an ICP logo. I'm going to put everything I want to sell up on this website. It's going to be just incredible. And all of it is hosted with ICP. This is amazing. I did that yesterday and polished it up a little bit this morning.
First Day of School and Missing the Queen
I got up today and got my son off to school. My ex came over and took first-day-of-school pictures at my house instead of her house, which was nice, because my house is on the way to their school — which is why I got this house. Now I'm just feeling so positive about my income and my dating right now. I'm so grateful. I still miss the queen. At the same time, it's like — I'm going to find 20, 30, 40 more girls like her to go out with. I'm going to find an amazing relationship. I'm going to give lots of women a good time. I'm going to have fun. I'm going to get out there. I'm so grateful for the experience with the queen, because it showed me this is what I need to be doing more of — there's so much fun to be had. And I'm letting the queen identify me next time. I shouldn't have ruined the mystery for her. She really liked me, and I shouldn't have ruined the mystery and the attraction by putting so much clarity and so much pressure on it. I'm going to let the queen identify me — come to me and say, "Hey, you are my king." If I agree with her, then we'll go forward and have an amazing life from there.
The Married Woman at Yoga This Morning
I also went to yoga this morning. Man, this was a hard class I went to this morning. It was awesome — I sweated all over the place. Then there's a woman behind me, and I'm like, we're going in. Cold approach on her. Going in. I got my stuff ready and made sure to leave at the exact same time as her. I'm very calculating and intentional — I don't know how y'all just go through life. Everything is calculated: when I'm going to leave, everything is constantly calculated and optimized. I'm looking around and considering. I don't understand how you all live life just not observing and calculating everything like that.
I walk out at the same time as her, come out a little bit behind her, and I holler at her: "Hey, that was a tough class. Good job." She said, "Thanks. I can't usually make it." I'm like, "Why can't you usually make it?" — asking why questions is fantastic. She said, "All my kids — but they just went back to school." I'm like, "Nice. What are you, a single mom?" She's like, "Oh, no, I've got a husband." I'm like, "Why don't you have a wedding ring on, then?" I'm kind of telling her, because generally, if a woman has a ring on that third finger, I'm not going to apply any kind of cold approach — I'm not even going to try and talk to her most of the time, because most husbands don't want some dude trying to hit on their wife. Maybe they do — maybe it's great validation — but that's why I asked why. She's like, "Oh, my finger was swollen up." I'm like, okay, that's why. It kind of explained it to her too — it was clear why I was talking to her. Then after that I'm like, "Yeah, my kids went back to school too. See you, have a nice day." It felt good. I explored, I asked — this was a mom with her husband. Cool. Now I know.
Being Honest About Why I Talk to Women
Also, the more women I talk to, it feels so good to be honest. The only reason I was talking to her was dating. I'm fine going to the yoga class and not talking to anyone. I don't care about friendly conversation — I talk to enough people normally. I talk enough, I listen, people send me stuff, the Skool messages — I get enough in and out. When I'm out, I'm talking to find a woman to date. That's why I'm talking. If the woman's already in a relationship, I don't need to talk to her anymore. Now, if there's a content creator or something, where there's something other than that going on — that's actually going to be more difficult to find lots of times. But it's so nice, because I feel like I'm such an honest, authentic person, especially in my videos, but I've felt like I was being dishonest in my communications with women since I got divorced — acting like, oh, I'm just talking to you and being friendly. No, I'm not. All I care about is: are you single? If you're single, do you want to go on a date? That's just keeping it real. That's really all I need to say. Are you single? No? Okay, bye. Are you single and want to go on a date with me? Yes? Good — what's your phone number? There we go. Man, this feels so good, so powerful, so authentically me, and that's why I'm sharing this with you all.
Fourteen Shorts and Monetization Progress
I also recorded a whole bunch of shorts yesterday — I'm just doing shorts on my phone. I recorded 14 shorts yesterday and a couple more today, and I'm grateful all my YouTube metrics are popping. This channel should be monetized soon, which is nice, because YouTube just doubled the watch hours you need — so we're going to get over that before it takes effect. I'm going to go get a massage now, and I would love to see you in that chat on jerrybanfield.com. I would love for you to be in there, and would love for you to be on the leaderboard along with beta testing it with me.
One Last Thought for the Single Women Out There
And maybe, if you're a single woman, I'd love to pick you up at yoga. If you want to follow along with how all of these adventures keep unfolding, I'm putting every one of these stories in my Dating playlist.
But I don't know — do single women even watch my videos? Do they?