52 Coins Versus Internet Computer Protocol
I reviewed 52 coins you all gave me to see if any of them can even compete with Internet Computer Protocol. These are all coins you all were interested in, that had some excitement around them, that you wanted my opinion on. I've reviewed all of them with the help of ChatGPT Pro in one 118-page gigantic document, and I'm going to go through the executive summary for you here. This will also be in my Skool community on jerrybanfield.com, and I think I'll put a product where you can download all my detailed crypto research reports too, directly on my website.
The key question for me is opportunity cost. Are any of these coins an improvement on — or even equal to — holding ICP in potential value? And which of these are better or worse than the others? That's what we're going to go through. First, looking at ICP: this is the benchmark. In my opinion, ICP is the best technology in crypto — game changing, world changing, infrastructure, the future of the internet — and it's at only a $1 billion market cap. The fees, yes, still have a lot of room to grow, but that's ten times the fees XRP makes every day right now, and there are huge things coming. I talk about ICP enough on my other channel. So what we're going to go through is how all these other coins stack up. Is there anything better? Which coins suck less than the others? And be aware: some of these projects have even shut down this year, and people still don't realize it.
So let's look at some of the outliers — some of the projects that are better than others — and then we'll go through the full scale. I'm not going to follow the document's blueprint exactly, but we're going to go down and rate them all — A, B, C, D — with exact scores. The document goes into each of them and why they have that score as well. So if you're holding any of these, or all of these, this will be great information.
The Coins ChatGPT Is Nicer About Than Me
Let's start with the coins ChatGPT is nicer about than me. I wouldn't say these coins are worth respecting — they're just not as big of losers as the rest of them. But they're mostly losers, because the token value capture on them is extremely questionable, especially compared to ICP. ChatGPT is nice here because it skews a little less than I do. So: ThorChain (RUNE). It's pretty positive on it, based on the token value capture and the on-chain data, and it thinks it would make a good ICP alternative. I disagree, from having done my own research on ThorChain — I think that's way too positive. But I asked it to consider all these different things: team and transparency, on-chain completeness. Notice that nothing got higher than a 72 on this scale — and for some reason I don't see what it actually scored ICP at. Akash Network: 72. It likes the product reality, the team, the transparency. But here's the thing you want to pay attention to — what's the fatal caveat? The retail-friendly chart and the on-chain completeness. I'm not sure how that makes sense, but it calls Akash an evidence-based outlier.
GeoNet: it likes the product reality and the team transparency — and what it likes are things I suggested were important. Aerodrome Finance: some of you have been really bullish on this one. It likes the reality of the product and the token value capture, but the token value capture on these is still very weak compared to ICP. Now, ChatGPT suggests these are potential ICP alternatives. Not in my opinion. And it concludes Aerodrome Finance is not an outlier anyway. Then you've got Quantum Resistant Ledger: team and transparency and supply cleanliness, which can be rare in a lot of these smaller projects. It thinks this could be a speculative small-cap outlier. Zano: not an outlier. Phala Network: there's a real product, a retail-friendly chart, and on-chain completeness.
Some of these could be speculative small-cap outliers. But the problem with those is that even if they do work, you've got to be watching them and get in and get out at just the right times. I don't want to get in and get out at just the right time — this is not a robbery. I want to just get in and stay in. That's how I'm trying to date, too: I want to get in and stay in, so I don't have to get in and get out. You know what I mean?
Octospace: 59. It says speculative small-cap outlier, but it only rates it at a 59. Gensyn AI: 59. Zama: 64. Rails: 57. And Origyn — now, I like Origyn better, and I think it's a good speculative small-cap outlier pick because it's on ICP, even though building real-world assets on chain has not gone so well so far.
Now, the closest to ICP by architecture — and not even really close — are Akash, Phala, iExec, Gensyn, Zama, AIOZ, Impossible Cloud, and Octospace. But all they do is coordinate compute, GPUs, trusted execution environments, storage, or AI work. And here's the thing: out of all of these, substantial execution remains on external hardware, which limits the real token value capture that's possible. Then ThorChain, Aerodrome, GeoNet, Rails, Helium, and Origyn have decent tokenomics — but the best tokenomics is going to be real demand over time. QRL and Xana? Post-quantum security is a bit hype at this point. And then there's the best raw micro-cap asymmetry: the tiny valuations make the 100x arithmetic easy to imply, but they have thin liquidity, small teams, weak revenue, and a serious probability of going nowhere.
What I don't like with small caps is this: if 99 times out of 100 you're going to lose everything, and one time you're going to get a 100x, that's not worth the effort. That's why my ideal formula — obviously not financial advice, and all I hold is ICP — is to find the one coin that has the highest probability of a 100x and the lowest odds of going to zero, and then just go all in on that. And if you lose, figure out a different plan for your life. Final answer from the research: no coin here has evidence strong enough to call it 1,000x undervalued. I'd say ICP is 1,000x undervalued — and it's the only bigger one, the only one that has a real chance of meeting that at this point.
The Master Scorecard
All right, so let's skip down to the master scorecard, ranked by long-term quality — higher is better. ThorChain, Akash, Aerodrome Finance, Zano, Quantum Resistant Ledger, Phala Network, GeoNet, and iExec come out at the top of these. Still not that great overall — ICP is far superior in my view. I've done lots of research on all of these independently, and it's nice how the AI can easily pull it all together so I can look at them all at once. Getting down further: Zama, Radix, Tellor, Helium — these are all getting worse long term. Then Drift Protocol, EigenCloud, Reserve Rights, Origyn, Celo, Centrifuge, Midnight, Octospace, Gensyn, AIOZ Network, Rails, Propy, API3, Figure HELOC, Impossible Cloud Network, and peaq. And then Goldfinch literally just closed down in June — they announced the protocol is quitting. And this is what you should expect: a lot of these are going to just straight up quit.
Motoko — the SNS project — is pretty small at this point. Last I checked. Not what she said. Not something I've heard before. Then XPR Network, Supra, Plume, Keeta, Reactive Network, ChainGPT, Billions Network, and Zora — these, to me, are absolutely not long-term sustainable projects. Grass, ArcBlock — and remember, you all gave me these. If you want to give me a coin to review in the future, the best way to do it is to go to jerrybanfield.com.
Ah, yes, the sales pitch. Go to jerrybanfield.com, grab that chat lifetime access, and you'll be directly chatting on the blockchain on my website built with ICP and AI. You can pop into chat and ask me about any kind of thing you want me to take a look at, and I'm in there — I've got reactions and everything. What's cool is I've built all of this with AI straight on the ICP, and we're in there talking about crypto stuff, and I'm going to make some channels in there too. You can also join Skool and talk to me in there as well.
Now, down here: Star Atlas — I'm not big on crypto games. Seedify — not big on crypto launchpads. One Win Token, WeFi, Moonriver, Portal to Bitcoin, DeepLink Protocol, SkyAI: pretty unsustainable. And then the absolute worst of the worst: Terra Luna Classic, Reef, and Rave DAO. Definitely roast material. I'm there for it.
Why This Research Matters
We'll go through literally the score for every single coin on here, and if you want the details on any of these, they're all in the document for you to look through. This is incredible research that ChatGPT does — it takes it over an hour of processing to go through and do all of this. And it's got very nice things in there. For example: compared with ICP, Reactive is a narrow automation layer. These are the things to look at — do you want a narrow automation layer, or big, full-stack application logic? It can even show you the product reality: it shows you all the different ratings across the board. That's the data it put all these ratings together from, and it's not that enthusiastic about any of them.
The big point with this is that the truth has not mattered that much in crypto so far. The truth has been mostly useless in crypto up until now, because whoever could talk the loudest and get the most people to listen — often saying the dumbest things with the most outrageous language, just shilling and saying what everybody expects to hear — that's been crypto for most of the 12 years I've been in it. I was one of the first crypto YouTubers. My Ethereum mining video had 100,000 views on it in 2017. I was showing people, and I said something like: you can make $100,000 a year mining Ethereum. And boy, was that video right and timely. So I've been in this space, I know what it is, and I'm on the leading edge of it. I was in this before almost anybody else, and now I'm saying ICP is the future before hardly anybody else — except Blockchain Pill, Bobbio, and a few others.
These coins are getting people excited. But to me, these are all crappy investments — there's no way I'd put my own money in any of these. And you all asked about all of them. So I'm going to go through the scores, we'll wrap this up, and the document will be there in Skool. I'll also put a product on my website with about ten of these from all different reports. If you're holding one of these coins, I would definitely go through the details and see. If you're holding something and you're bullish on it — if you've got API3, or Supra, or Impossible Cloud Network — look at the details. Verdict from ChatGPT: not an outlier, confidence high.
The future is AI being able to cut through all this human BS — not perfectly, but you can see the research the AI cranked out. If the AI can cut through it for me, it can cut through it for other people. And if I have access to this for $200 a month, other people have even better information than this. And it's going to point to ICP consistently.
The Roasts Begin
So let's go through each one. Reactive Network: a 51. The roast: it built a blockchain whose job is to wake up other blockchains, but almost nobody appears willing to pay for the alarm clock. Dang — ChatGPT's got dad jokes. The last woman I went out with said that she wanted some dad jokes.
I'm like, I don't like dad jokes. I like Anthony Jeselnik, Bill Burr, Louis C.K. — dark, dirty, nasty humor. Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart — hit me with that crazy stuff. Eddie Murphy. Who's that dude? Deon Cole — I love him. That's what I like. That's what I want.
The Roasts, Coin by Coin
Grass: a 49. Its biggest research weakness is a "retail-friendly chart" — I'm taking that to mean it doesn't have one. The roast: Grass sold retail the dream of owning the AI data economy, while the token mostly pays people to run a browser extension and sell into unlocks. My God, these roasts are awesome. These roasts are real. This is great.
GeoNet — the roast: GeoNet may be selling a real service, but a map full of base stations is not the same thing as a profit-and-loss statement full of customers. Dang. This is what you need to know about these. API3: it removed the oracle middleman, but it never removed a 98 percent drawdown. So the weakness is the crappy chart. Helium: a 62. Helium proved you can build a real wireless network and still turn the token chart into a dead zone. You see what it did there? It's doing Wi-Fi language, cellular language. Supra built an oracle, a bridge, automation, randomness, and a layer one — then delivered a chart that only needed one feature: down.
See, this is the problem with the rest of these. ICP has a chart that's not retail-friendly either, but it has real technology that people will use regardless of the chart. The roast on most of these others is that they don't have anything besides a price chart. Helium has a network, but the network itself is mostly all off-chain stuff, only partly coordinated through the chain — so how is that going to bring real value to the token outside of speculation? That's the problem. Impossible Cloud Network built a very possible cloud business while making the token holders pay for the word "decentralized" — and the weakness there is that you don't have real on-chain completeness. Radix spent years proving it could design a better blockchain, and accidentally proved blockchains do not win design contests. In my view, if you're not building something on par with ICP, your blockchain is irrelevant today. Aerodrome Finance makes money, but to receive it you have to lock your token while the protocol keeps printing more for everyone else. One Win Token took a casino already designed to make the house win and added a token, so the house can win twice. Dang.
peaq wants to be a blockchain for billions of machines, but each machine may contribute less token value than a vending machine coin slot. I'll get that one eventually. Reserve Rights (RSR) offers yield by putting token holders first in line to absorb the loss — crypto's version of earning pennies in front of a collateral truck. These are pretty good. Plume can put a billion-dollar treasury fund on chain and still send almost all the money to the fund manager, custodian, lawyer, bank, and issuer, then leave Plume holders gas crumbs. Guys, this is the story in crypto.
And gals — there are actually some women in here. Any single women? Go to jerrybanfield.com. Schedule a call. Quick — I think some woman is going to snatch me up soon. I can feel it. So get in there before the other ones do. I went out on a really nice date. "Nobody cares about your date, keep reading ChatGPT roasts." I had a great date. I talk about that on my Jerry Banfield dating and my Jerry Banfield vlogs channels.
Keeta wants to connect every bank in the world, but the first institution it connected most effectively was retail liquidity to future token unlocks. Nice. Origyn (OGY) can authenticate a luxury watch — but after a 97 percent drawdown, it's not a luxury watch, and it cannot authenticate the claim that the token was a luxury investment. That's pretty good. ArcBlock has been building the future of blockchain apps since 2018; the future keeps forgetting to install it. You make me laugh. Midnight promises privacy, but the one thing it can't hide is a massive airdrop throwing itself onto the chart. Quantum Resistant Ledger may be ready for quantum computers decades before it's ready for normal users. Very accurate. Goldfinch can lend millions to real businesses and still earn the protocol roughly lunch money per day.
Guys, gals — all my single ladies, probably one of you up in here; all my single dudes, probably a lot of y'all. I think there's more married dudes, though, based on what y'all are talking to me about at jerrybanfield.com. And this is the thing: almost every single token has this same problem — real business parts, but the token itself earns nothing.
Electra Protocol (XEP) promises real-world payments, but at a $3 million market cap, the world appears to be paying with almost anything else. Celo — I see you riding around town with the girl I love, and I'm like, forget you. I guess we're not swearing in this one. It's after 10, though. Celo successfully got people to use crypto payments as long as they could avoid holding Celo. Seedify sold access to the next generation of gaming tokens, then became the strongest demonstration of why most gaming tokens should never have launched. Real talk right here. Rails finally connected private bank fees to token burns — after first connecting almost the entire token supply to future unlock calendars.
ChainGPT and the Copyright Strike
ChainGPT put a token in front of AI tools that users can already buy with dollar-denominated credits — the blockchain equivalent of a cover charge for ChatGPT. I said that years ago. And they were mad. And they copyright striked one of my videos. A butt-hurt little marketing team. I filed a counter notification, and I said: you can go ahead and take that to trial, because I used your logo to roast your coin. Take that to trial. No response. The video went back up. Hopefully that saved some people from getting annihilated in that one. Also, it appears they used bots to push the videos of anyone promoting them.
Motoko: The One Possible Outlier
Now, Motoko — I might mark this one as an outlier. And you're like, "Thanks, Jerry — 20 minutes in and you gave me one little thing." Well, this is an SNS project on ICP, and the thing is, it's so small. Not what she said, bro. It's so small that it could be — because it's on ICP — that some kind of crazy thing happens with it, because it's an SNS. I'm not going to say that's likely, and I'm not holding any of it, but I'll just acknowledge that out of everything I've put on here, if there was one that might have some outlier possibility, this is it. So right now I'm trying to figure out what's going on with this thing. I didn't prepare this in advance, but it looks like one ICP can get you 338 Motoko, and there are 55 million of them. I can't believe I'm about to use a calculator on this, but let me do some simple math: 55 million, divided by 338, at around two dollars — I'm not even sure exactly what I did there, but I think the market cap is a few hundred thousand for this, off the top of my head. So that could be an outlier potentially, but I wouldn't count on it enough to hold it myself. It is the programming language on ICP, and it could get a speculative pump — I'd have to say it's the best speculative pump potential out of all of these. Definitely not financial advice, and I'm not holding it myself either.
More Roasts: The Losers Pile Up
Terra Luna Classic: one of the worst losers out of this bunch. It's crazy to me that people are still in this after it rugged so many people — it's nuts. XPR Network made transactions almost free, then wondered why the token didn't become valuable. AIOZ offers streaming, storage, and compute — everything except a stream of verified customer revenue. Moonriver was an experimental future of multi-chain Ethereum, then ended up experimenting with leaving its own chain. Whoops. Reef has survived by changing what it wants to be faster than the market can remember what it failed to become — one of the biggest losers on here. ThorChain (RUNE) found real product-market fit, then repeatedly demonstrated that the fastest way to get into centralized anxiety is to add more protocol complexity. Makes sense, unfortunately. Akash Network runs a real cloud marketplace, but crypto investors price every rented GPU as if it'll personally evict Amazon from Virginia. Exactly — and without having it all on chain, it's very questionable. EigenCloud turned re-hypothecating Ethereum into a cloud business before it proved the cloud had customers. I don't know what that means, honestly. Portal to Bitcoin promises Bitcoin without bridges, while the token economics require investors to bridge a canyon of missing supply data. That's great. Phala Network sells trustless AI while asking you to trust a chip manufacturer, the enclave firmware, the host, the attestation stack, and the token market — a perfect example of crypto selling "trustless" AI when there are all kinds of trust assumptions. Centrifuge (CFG) can put a billion-dollar loan book on chain and leave the CFG holders searching legal documents for the paragraph where they get paid.
One more page of these and we'll wrap up. Zano: maybe the rare privacy coin with something to hide besides its lack of a product — it hides its public usage numbers too, which makes it difficult to see how good it is. Figure HELOC: calling it a crypto moonshot is like calling your mortgage a meme coin because the bank finally put the spreadsheet on the blockchain — so it's saying there's basically no upside to this. SkyAI successfully indexed every popular AI buzzword except the one data field investors need: recurring revenue. They all fail on the same thing. Rave DAO put a vesting schedule on the one industry already famous for selling expensive tickets to people who cannot hear themselves think. Octospace may be selling real GPU time, but at a $2 million market cap, the most decentralized part of the cloud is its missing customer service department. Tellor (TRB): the oracle may report the price honestly, but TRB's price chart looks like the oracle was fed data from a casino. Gensyn AI tries to verify every machine learning job except the one calculation buyers need — what happens when the other 87 percent of tokens show up. Drift Protocol built a real exchange, then gave investors a token whose primary utility is voting on why the exchange's success has not reached them. Zama can compute on data nobody can see — which is convenient, because 80 percent of its token supply is also waiting where buyers can't see it.
The Final Roasts
Man, ChatGPT's done a great job putting these together. The one thing you really should look at with each of these tokens is that they're not the only ones that can be used to do what they do. iExec (RLC) spent almost a decade proving it can rent computers; the missing benchmark is whether anyone will rent enough of them to rescue the token. Unlikely. DeepLink Protocol (DLC) — good branding, I'll give it that. DeepLink put cloud gaming on a blockchain, because apparently input lag was not already complicated enough. And it didn't really put cloud gaming on a blockchain either — because if the whole game's not on the blockchain, it's not blockchain gaming, it's a lie. Billions Network wants to prove every user is a unique human, but its tokenomics prove public buyers are the easiest identity to recognize. I'm not sure what that means, honestly. Propy can tokenize the deed, but the token holder still does not own the house, the title company, the closing fee, or a piece of Propy. Again, some of these things are super obvious — once you look at that, it's like, why the hell would you hold that? Zora did investors the courtesy of writing "for fun only" on a token with team unlocks, then watched the market spend months discovering the joke. WeFi may be putting banking on chain, but the Visa logo, the card issuer, the compliance team, the stablecoins, the merchants, and all the money worked perfectly well already — while the WeFi holders wait for the footnote explaining why the token is necessary.
Wrapping Up 52 Coins
I researched a lot of these before, and it's nuts how the AI could dig through all this stuff so quickly and roast it. It took the AI, at the maximum public plan, an hour and a half — and I gave it the way to do this based on all my research. So out of all these 52 coins: maybe Motoko is an outlier, a lot are not worth holding, and most are just sucking or useless — there's no reason for the token to exist. So I did my job. And if you want to see how I break down coins like these one at a time, it's all together in my Crypto Reviews playlist.
It's checkout time. See y'all on jerrybanfield.com — come talk to me, come join the chat. I just put Officer Banfield on jerrybanfield.com, where I've got a leaderboard. Big shout-out to Zenith today — Zenith saw that leaderboard and decided he needed to get on top of it: Zenith bought the first annual membership to my Skool, and the chat membership as well. Thank you also to the anonymous tippers who gave $25 today, and another who gave $10 — that's $35 people just tipped anonymously today to support me. I really appreciate it.
I'm out here every day hoping I can help you out — hoping I can help you all avoid losing money and see how bad most of these are. If I accomplish my job, I'd love to see you on jerrybanfield.com. If you want some entertainment: Officer Banfield — that real, raw — what a book. PDF and audio right there. Thanks for watching; hope to see you on my website soon.