It's August 24th, 2026, here with your boy, Jerry Banfield, and I am fired up today. My message today is simple: don't let anybody else tell you how to think or control the narratives in your mind. I am here, I love my life, I'm proud of what I'm doing, and I'm going in a great direction. Nobody else is going to tell me anything besides that. And thank you all for crushing it. The last vlog that published — "I'm talking to seven women, surely one date will work out" — pulled 633 views in the first six hours with an eight minute average watch time. One out of ten. Let's go. I'm proud of where I'm at.
What I've been doing in the last 24 hours especially is realizing I need to just relax and do what I feel like. Because especially in dating, people say, "Be yourself." And then I'm like, what is myself? Well, I had this situation. There's a single mom I sent six messages to last week. She sent one response back. And I thought, you know what? I feel like sending her a four minute voice memo today. This is a connection through a friend — a good friend connected the two of us — and the single mom's just been very apathetic. "I'm so busy, I don't have time." So I sent her a four minute voice memo because I felt like it. Not trying to get anything, but like, look, this is some custom content just for you, to help remind you of how much I care about you.
Why Dating Is Worth Prioritizing
This is how important dating is. I realized: you're in your 40s, you've got two kids about the same age as mine, you're hustling with their business. You might think dating's annoying, that it's not important. But give it 10 years down the road — 20, 30 years. I know so many people who have sad, pathetic lives in their 50s, 60s, and 70s because they didn't prioritize dating, because they didn't have time, because they were too busy. And now they're coping. Their bodies just fell apart. They're wishing. They're lonely. You can't even bring up dating or sex without them getting very sensitive and uncomfortable, because decades ago they chose to pursue money and survive. And now they're lonely as hell — functioning, scrolling on their phones all night, sad.
Now, obviously, the results vary. That's a generalization based on a bunch of people I know. Obviously you can be in a toxic relationship that's awful too, and it's obviously possible to be single and have a great life. But most of the time, deprioritizing dating is going to be one of the dumbest things you do long term. You are not going to like how that works out over the next several decades. My message is that dating is one of the most important things to prioritize. You don't need to validate yourself with it and have your whole life be about it. But it's worth trying. It's worth making the effort. It's worth reaching out.
The Conversation That Blew My Mind
I had a conversation that blew my mind about dating last night. I have a family member that I often look at and think — I focus on what I do better than him. He has a couple of things going, like his money; he's doing real good with that, and I often try to learn a little bit from him. But he told me about how he's dating on dating apps and he's crushing it. I'm like, dang. Once I realized this is what we needed to talk about, I asked him questions for an hour. He'd been talking about a bunch of random stuff, and then he's like, "Yeah, I just had this girl over," and hooked up with her. I was like, what? Tell me about that. And he told me everything. Answered all my questions for an hour straight.
Here's the thing: I have so many advantages over him in certain areas of dating. And yet he works the angles he has, and he consistently gets results that I haven't been getting. What I love is that if I see somebody who has something I can learn from — something I want to learn — I'll dive into that. I'll ask questions. I'll be the student. I'm like, "Look, what did you put on your profile? Dude, you used a picture from 20 years ago? Nice." And he just told me everything. It was such a great conversation — one of the best conversations. We talked for two hours. It was awesome, and I left with love and respect. I'm like, thank you.
That's what people often won't do. Instead, we'll see somebody who has what we want, we'll get jealous, and we'll start hating on them. If you see somebody that's got what you want: ask. Ask for their help. Plead for their help. Let them help you. Like me — if you see something you want, go to my website, spend $1,000, and spend hours talking to me. And then between calls, you can have text. I have ICP coaching up there. Dating coaching. And YouTube coaching. I'm very good — maybe the dating is the weakest link out of the three of those, but I'm very good. I am killing it at content creation, and I am one of the best people in the world to do ICP coaching. And if you're struggling with dating, I can help you have an indomitable, no-quit, no-matter-what attitude. That's what I can do. I am going to get an awesome experience dating, and I refuse to let anybody tell me anything different.
"Bro, I'm So Concerned for You"
I talked to my friend today. Good friend — known him for years. He heard that share from the meeting I was at, the one I posted a video about, where I shared in an AA meeting and everybody wanted to fight me — or a few people wanted to fight me. And he was telling me, "Bro, I'm so concerned for you. I don't think you're going in a good direction." I'm like, let me stop you right there. I don't care about your opinion about the direction I'm going. I disagree with your assessment of my situation, and I have no interest in hearing why you don't agree. Then I'm like, okay, tell me. He's like, "I don't think you're going the right direction, bro." I'm like, what is the right direction? He's like, "Feel your feelings and heal your childhood issues."
I've felt my feelings. I have no childhood issues. Those are weak excuses at this point. I haven't been a child for over 20 years. I've done it — I've processed all that. There's no reason to be like, "Well, my mother went in the military when I was almost a year old, and I missed her during the day when my dad took care of me, and that's why I need a woman to validate me." That's ridiculous. That has nothing to do with where I'm at today.
And I'm proud that I'm out there approaching women in person. The family member said, "I don't know if dating apps are for you, but you are doing good approaching women in person." He struggles with that — between his job and the rest of the stuff he has to do, he doesn't have a lot of opportunities to meet women in person. He's like, "You should be doing as much as you can in person." I'm really proud that I'm here, that I'm trying, and that I'm getting clear on what I believe is true and the narrative behind everything. Because if you're not clear on what's true for you, everybody else will just push you around and tell you what to think. Well, duh.
Sending It Because I Feel Like It
I was also thinking of this other woman I texted. She sent me a couple of messages. What did she say? She said she wasn't interested. I said, "Hey, you want to go on a walk?" A day later, she's like, "Nah, I'm not feeling available for that, but thank you for sharing." So I texted her a few days later: "You're welcome. Maybe you're feeling available today." She's like, "Nah, not interested in doing that. Thank you." So I sent her a voice memo today with this whole little analogy that was relevant to a conversation we had. I just felt like sending her that. She didn't say to stop talking to her, so I'm going to send it because I feel like it, and whatever she does is up to her. I don't care which way it works out — I think she needs to hear it, so I'm going to say it. And I'm proud of living like that.
TikTok Is Off to a Strong Start
I've been posting these videos on TikTok, and I'm impressed — my TikTok has gotten off to a strong start. Somebody's like, "You're not that popular, are you?" Not that popular? Well, I posted a brand new TikTok account at Jerry Banfield — which somehow was available — and we got 1,600 views on my first two videos. Let's go. I'm going to start cranking out five videos a day, maybe at least five videos a day, to that TikTok channel. And then I'm going to crank out several videos a day to my Jerry Banfield ICP TikTok channel. I just found a service through ChatGPT that I should be able to just drop everything into, because right now I'm producing about six long form videos like this a day — I guess I don't know what format y'all are watching, but technically six long form videos a day — and then I'm cranking out like 12 shorts a day. I've been trying to upload the shorts to TikTok on my phone and then Instagram and Facebook on desktop, which I just created all of yesterday.
I love how fast I move. I move fast with women. I move fast with my business. I move fast with making the changes I need to make in my life. And I'm proud of that. Now, sometimes I move a little too fast and wreck. Whoops. That's fine — we're going to put it all back together. I'm going to get all these videos uploaded, I'm going to go off online, and I'm going to just print money.
Here's an example. I just had a call scheduled at jerrybanfield.com — $96 for 30 minutes. At the end of the call, they're like, "Do you offer ICP coaching?" I'm like, yes — let me put that on my website. So I just put the ICP coaching up at jerrybanfield.com/icp-coach. It's up there. And it's like, dang — here's an opportunity to make $1,000 in a month doing a few calls and responding to some messages, and help somebody do something that's really meaningful for them: build their business on ICP and get it off the crap it's on now. That's a win for me. It's a win for them. It's a win for everybody else involved with them. And damn, your boy can make $963 off that. Awesome.
You just got to keep winning and hold strong. But I'm seeing I need to get clear on: what do I believe in? What is true for me? What's true for me is that I'm proud of my life.
I Refuse to Accept Other People's Narratives
If something fell out of the sky and crushed this whole house with me in it right now, I'd be like: that was a good life. And I'm proud of it. I refuse to accept other people's narratives. You should resist as strong as possible any BS thing that somebody's trying to do to you — whether it's telling you how to think or trying to make you feel bad. Fuck that. I was trying not to curse, but fuck that. Now we're cursing. Let it go. Can't hold it back anymore.
I love when people talk about me, even if it is talking shit. Go ahead and talk shit about me, because I know what's true and you're just entertaining me with your shit talking. And I watched a video that had me laughing. I don't know if I can just — I guess, what can I say about this video? Look, I can't tell y'all everything out on these videos. If you want to know what I was going to say right there, go to jerrybanfield.com and you can DM me in my Skool community or in jerrybanfield.com/chat — I'll tell y'all what I was going to say. Because I respect the YouTube community and I like to err on the side of caution with the stuff I say publicly. I know some of you think that's hard to believe, but if I'm following the rules, anything else goes. Which means there are so many rules we follow in our lives that are unwritten rules. There's no actual rule, but it's like: "Well, you shouldn't just tell a girl you're pretty."
"You Can't Do That — It's 2026"
People on TikTok are all trying to argue with me. I said, I'm just direct. I go up and I'm like, "Hey, you're pretty. Are you single?" And they're like, "You can't do that. It's 2026." I'm like, bullshit — because I am doing it. And I got a phone number and two canceled dates out of doing that. And they could have been dates that weren't canceled. So you can absolutely do that. It seems some women even respect it. Look, I'm not acting like I'm talking to you for any other reason than that you're pretty.
And then this one girl just started texting me all of a sudden — texting out of nowhere. Haven't seen her in weeks. I've known her for years and she's a friend, but last I heard she had a boyfriend. All of a sudden she just texted me all this stuff. I need to respond back, too — it's funny, I've gotten behind — but she just texted me paragraphs, like, "Hey," and paragraphs. She texted me out of the blue. She double texted me, too. The last message she sent was — dang — a month ago. A month ago was the last message she sent. And then she texted me this morning and said, "You're my friend and I care about you. What have you been up to?" I'm like, how nice is that? In an ideal world, I just sit back and get messages like that from women all the time and just respond. Maybe we can make that happen one day. That's what I'm working on. That's what I'm manifesting. That's what I like. I'll just sit back and have women pay for calls all over the world at jerrybanfield.com just to try and court me, because I'm so special.
The Creator of My Own Reality
Now, I know some of you think that I'm utterly delusional. Good. I'm the creator of my own reality, and nobody else is going to create my reality for me. Nobody else is going to give me bullshit-ass narratives like "you should just feel your feelings." Fuck that. I'm going to get out there and have fun. I'm going to enjoy life. I'm going to try and give as much as I can to the world that I want. I'm going to work on creating the world I want. Who put this thing together? Me. That's who. Who do I trust? Me. That's who. That's who I trust.
And the funny thing is, I realized I need to write down everything I believe in. So when anybody comes off with some bullshit, I can be like: nope. Fuck that. No, thanks. You can think whatever you want. Not interested.
That said, there is a place to learn and to adjust and to grow and to open our minds. And that's where, if there's an opportunity for improvement, I'm thinking maybe I'll use online dating apps again. I put a poll up on that in my Skool community — you can let me know what you think.
You can follow this whole dating journey from the beginning in my Dating playlist. We're skipping towards 15 minutes, so I'm going to cut it off like Lorena Bobbitt.