It's August 8th — and no, wait, that's not the date. It's August 13th, 2026, and you're here with me for a real, live, authentic vlog from a full-time YouTuber, Jerry Banfield. First, I want to thank you all. You've been watching an incredible amount of these vlogs — 19,000 views, up 3X, and the average view duration is six minutes. Thank you. I really appreciate each moment you spend with me, and I hope my videos add some value to your life. I do these without even being sure what I'm going to talk about each day, so that they stay fun — and I'd love to get to know you, so join the Jerry Banfield Family and say hello.
I Built an Entire Business Directly on My Own Website
The big thing I'm excited about right now is that I built an entire business out directly on my website with AI and the ICP blockchain. That is a huge deal. It's a dream come true. I've essentially built my own social network and my own e-commerce platform on there, all of it with AI, all of it on my own website. For any of you who want to donate or drop some tips, I just built some functionality in yesterday — a brand new tip page at jerrybanfield.com/tip, where you can just drop a tip and it'll show up, and there's a whole leaderboard and everything. My mind's going, "Stop, shut up, get back to the dating content. Come on, this is boring." And I'm like, well, maybe it's not. Maybe it's not. This technology is crazy. If you don't know about ICP, and how to use AI to build on ICP to build your own whole business, this is a big deal. You can send tips with a card or with ICP, and it'll pop up on the tip wall. You can send a message. And dang, I keep going back to the ICP one.
I'm really excited about this, because right now the number one thing I need to do in my life is get my money right. I would love to make at least ten grand a month. So let me know what you think I should do to make that happen. My goal is to give millions of dollars of value every month — to give videos that inspire you, that change your life, that help solve problems, that give you inspiration, that give you hope, that give you a different way to look at things. My crypto videos solve a huge problem: crypto's confusing, and I boil it down to there being one coin that's not crap. That is a gigantic value proposition. Dating? "Oh, dating's so hard." No, it's not. Guys, go out there and just say hi to a woman, give her a compliment, ask if she's single, and say, "I'd love to take you out on a date." Taking these hard topics and utterly simplifying them is genius. YouTube? All you need to do is step up and make videos that are fun, every day. Boom. Gaming? Just have some fun, all right? So I'm really proud of what I'm doing in my work right now, and I'm grateful for all the feedback I've gotten.
How Do I Handle Dating as a YouTuber?
At the same time, I'm asking myself: how do I handle my work when it comes to dating? I've got two dates scheduled a couple of days from now, and neither of them knows what I do. Here's the main thing. Women generally — and this is generally, it doesn't apply to everybody, this is just my experience, more often than not, maybe, but not all the time — it seems like a lot of women prefer to have a bit of mystery, a curiosity about a man. It seems that one of the main places I've gone wrong is telling women too much about myself too fast. They get to know way too much about me without any context, it triggers red flags, there's no more mystery, and then there's no more attraction.
Well, how do I avoid that as a YouTuber? As soon as I tell almost any woman what I do — "I'm a YouTuber" — boom, they're online looking through my videos. And what happens when a woman goes through these videos? There's no more mystery. This guy is just real and raw and authentic, and then they're thinking, "I don't want to be the subject of his next video."
The Queen Knew Ahead of Time
Now, what's funny is that one woman I dated, I told her I was a YouTuber up front, and she's a content creator too. Shout out to the queen. So she kind of knew it ahead of time — but my videos were doing very little on this channel back then. When I started doing vlogs every day, and I met this woman right around that time — I actually inspired her — I started talking about her in the videos every day. And some of those videos really picked up. They got people watching, got people interested in my vlogs, got podcasts commenting and everything. Those were the videos where my real-life vlogs were picking up. When I started dating this woman, she gave me weeks of material and made my whole channel interesting.
So what happens when I'm taking out this woman I cold approached, and I'm on a date with her, and she asks, "What do you do?" I'm a YouTuber. What is she going to do? Go straight home and start looking at these videos. And when she finds these videos, what are we going to do about that? Do I need to be secretive and playful about it — tease her, say "Oh, I just talk," and not tell her what I do? And do I need to stop wearing shirts that say Jerry Banfield on them? When I picked up the queen, I had on a shirt that said Jerry Banfield. And it definitely seemed to kill some of her attraction when she watched some of these videos — like the one where I cried out for my queen and then met her. When she watched those, it seemed to kill her attraction, because all of a sudden she has certainty. "Oh, this guy wants me." There's no more mystery, no more fun, no more romance story. It's like, "Wow, this guy just really likes me" — which, ironically, seems to be a turnoff.
Maybe I'd Be Better at Being Gay Than Being Straight
I don't know, maybe I'd be better at being gay than being straight. Because if me and a dude just met, we'd both be like, "I love you, bro." "I love you too. Let's go bang." "Great. Let's make a whole life together." Maybe we'd just do that immediately. Maybe that's why gay guys have the lowest divorce rate, then heterosexual couples, and lesbians have the highest divorce rate. But dudes don't turn me on very often. Occasionally a dude turns me on. I was at yoga the other day, and normally I'm just getting turned on by the women, but there was this dude next to me, and I'm thinking, I'm not that gay — I'm a little bit gay. I'm this much straight and a little bit gay. And I'm like, now this dude — this dude's hot. This dude is good looking. If I was going to be gay, it'd be with this guy. I like dudes that kind of look like me: just lean, with a nice pretty face, without a bunch of artificial muscles, who didn't take a whole bunch of creatine to build themselves up. Just a nice lean dude with a pretty face. So, basically myself. If I was going to be gay, I'd be gay with my clone. Me and my clone would be very gay together. I'm trying to make these funny — but honestly, I'm just like this normally.
Two Dates in One Day
I'm listening to these Bobby Rio videos about how to flirt with women and getting ready for these dates. And I'm asking myself, what do I do about all of you? Do I just own it and say, "I'm a YouTuber, and you're my next episode? This date is about to crank out some views and some money for me, so make it a good one"? My matchmaking service got me a date locked in too. I've got two dates in one day, and I'm excited about that.
At the same time, there are so many possibilities in the air. I was watching Hex Speaks — he's a YouTuber, and he was talking about his dating life. He said he just likes to be talking to one woman at once. I'm like, no. If I'm not in a relationship and I'm just talking — not dating anyone exclusively — I want to be talking to as many women at once as possible, so I don't overwhelm the next queen. I love having so many possibilities in the air with women right now. I'm not even sure which one to be excited about. Should I be excited about this woman I cold approached? Should I be excited about this matchmaking date? How about the woman I met playing tennis — is she going to text me back for tennis? How about the woman I talked about a while back in some videos, who came over to the house? I don't even know. I'm talking to a number of women, and I'm so excited to see where it goes.
Dating Women Is the Most Fun Thing I Can Think to Do
And it's so funny — some of you, when you schedule calls with me, tell me, "You should stop dating. You don't need to have more kids. You should just focus on having fun." I'm like, what's more fun than dating women? Dating women is so much fun, guys. What are you doing that's more fun? "Well, you should just focus on..." What — traveling? Making money? Dating women is so much more fun than traveling or making money. If it's not fun, you're not doing it right. Meeting somebody new, feeling out that chemistry — am I going to kiss her? Are we going to make a life together? Is this going to be the only time I ever see her? It's so much more fun.
Now, maybe this is because of my childhood. Up until 18, my mom was in the military and we lived all over the world. I've lived in Japan. I've lived in Germany. I've traveled all over Europe. I've traveled a bit in Asia — I went to South Korea, and we traveled all over Japan. I've lived all over the U.S. and traveled all over the U.S. Dating women is the most fun thing I can think to do. It's awesome. I've been out on awesome dates all over this town. Picture me at dinner with a beautiful doctor in her late twenties. Picture me walking around with the queen all over town, just smiling, rolling into yoga class. I've been out with beautiful women all over this town and in Sarasota, and now I've got a date up in Clearwater. I love going out on dates. I love being out where people see me with a woman. I love the conversation, the energy, the playful banter. I love the possibility of getting laid. It's all awesome. What else would I be doing?
And some of you say, "Why do you need more kids? Your daughter's 11, your son's eight. You don't need more kids." I'm like, what do you know about what I need? "You're giving away your freedom." What good is freedom? I have so much freedom right now. And you know what I love? I love having people who depend on me.
I Love Having People Who Depend on Me
I do. I love having a woman at home and a couple of little kids while I'm making money to support the family. I love that. I love it. I love having a baby that just needs everything, constantly. I love having little kids where you're their whole world. When you have a three-year-old, you and the mom and a handful of other people are their entire world. I love that. What good is this idea of freedom — this belief that the best way to a fulfilling life is traveling around or just being able to do whatever you want? That's not what's fulfilling to me. I love love. I love connection. I love serving.
The guy I was talking to today said that sounds like some AA BS. No — happiness. Somebody did a survey of people all around the world trying to find the happiest person in the world. And the happiest person they found in their survey was a guy in India who pulled a rickshaw twelve hours a day, six or seven days a week. This guy had a full family to go home to. He was out in the streets with people all day, doing manual labor, pulling a rickshaw — and he'd work for twelve hours, then go home, bring his money home, and feed his family. That guy was happier than everybody else. Happier than the CEOs making money, the celebrities, the influencers — happier than the people living in much more comfortable conditions and working easier jobs. What you need to discover is: what is happiness for you? What makes you happy? I love sharing and teaching, and I love supporting people. That's why I'm building the best business I can — because I want to support the kids I've got and be there for them. And then I want more kids and a woman to support.
I'd love to have a woman whose whole thing is staying home with the kids and living her lifestyle — she gets massages, she goes to yoga, she plays pickleball, she uploads videos with me. And I'm happy to be with a career woman also, where she's got her career, I've got my career, and maybe we have a nanny. I'm down with that too. But I don't see anything more fun I could do than father some more children.
The Two Most Important Roles on the Planet
To me, the most valuable thing I can do with the skills I have is to parent children. One of the most important roles on the planet is father, and I'd say the only role more important than father is mother. The mother carries the baby for nine months — that's all on the mother. But the father can be there to support the mother, to make sure she has everything she needs, that she's safe and taken care of. To me, those are the two most important roles on the planet: mother and father.
On some planets, those are the highest two things you have to get a degree for. On some planets, you have to go through the most rigorous training imaginable — it makes training to be a doctor look like no big deal. You don't get to have kids on some other planets until you go through an incredible level of parenting training. Shouldn't it be like that on this planet? On some of these other planets, what you basically do is go through a bunch of education to be a parent — to learn how to be a loving, compassionate parent. You learn all about kids and all about yourself. Then you study with other parents, essentially like a nanny, like an apprentice, and you help parent their kids under their leadership — kind of like a residency for a doctor. You go through twenty-plus years of education to be a parent, and then you can be a parent, and afterward you're there to apprentice other want-to-be parents.
42 Is Not Too Old
The guy I was talking to said, "Well, you're 42, you're going to be too old." That's ridiculous. I take fantastic care of myself. My dad died when I was 29, and that was enough time. If I can give kids 29 years, that'll be enough parenting. Where did this idea come from that you need 50, 60, 70 years with a parent? That's ridiculous. My dad, in 29 years, did everything he needed to do as a parent — and he died at 63. So let's say I have at least the next decade where I could easily father kids and give them 29 years of my life. I could father kids at 60 and still give them 29 years, until I was 89. And I could still be in great shape and just pass away because my work here is done, and I'm moving on to the next one. That sounds like an awesome life to me.
And I think I'd make a much better parent now than I did even for my first two kids. I think I did pretty good with them, but when my daughter was born I was 31. I've had 11 more years since then. I've parented two children up to middle school now, and parenting is getting easier and easier. I know there are women out there who would love to have a man they could depend on as a father, who would love to raise kids. And it doesn't take a lot — it just takes one. I'm sure I will find one.
Don't Let Anybody Tell You How to Live
One of the big messages I'm trying to give here is: don't let anybody else tell you what you should think or what you want to do. I am the director, the co-creator of my life. I accept no leadership, no authority. I will cooperate if it's in my best interest, and I will resist if I don't like it — just like I did six years ago. I resisted as much as possible and encouraged others to resist also. If you don't do what I want, I'm going to resist, however and whatever I need to do. That, to me, is masculine: holding space for what I want, and fighting you if you do not cooperate with me. I love how I am. And anyone who tells me anything else — I don't care. If you think I should live my life differently, I don't care, because I'm leading myself. I am very happy with what I'm doing and what I'm creating. Even when it's a struggle, I'm enjoying the journey.
Part of me likes it rough. This dating has been a little rough, but you know what? I've enjoyed it. It's been a great story. If I'd just dated the queen and it had been awesome, that wouldn't have been as interesting, would it? No. But I am ready to have a great partnership with a woman. And I'm going to let her tell me when she's my queen — because apparently it works better that way. I'm so grateful that I get to show up here and do these videos each day.
A Beautiful Conversation With My Daughter About Middle School
I had a beautiful conversation with my daughter this morning about how boring middle school is. I told her, look, if you want to do something else — a Montessori school or homeschool — that's up to you. You don't have to sit in a boring school every day if you don't want to. She said, "Well, it's the beginning of the year. Maybe we're just not learning that much yet." She was telling me they don't even have recess at middle school, and they make them sit at tables with their classmates at lunch. I'm like, am I going to have to complain about this? Because that's boring.
When I was in middle school, you could sit with anybody in the cafeteria. Me and all my boys would be hanging out, talking about the girls and video games. Then we'd go out and play — we'd be playing Foursquare, and that game where you toss it up, like Cherry Bomb. We had so much fun. I remember having fun in middle school. I still remember some of the girls from middle school that I liked so much. I had a fun time in middle school because they let us go out and have fun. Recess and lunch were all about getting out to go play outside, talking to girls, hanging out and having fun with the guys. It was fun. And I'm grateful — I don't know how I'd pay for my daughter to go to a Montessori school, but if she wanted to, my ex-wife and I would make it happen. I'm sure of that.
Own It
So don't let anybody ever talk you out of your dreams. One of the top five regrets of the dying is letting other people tell you how you should live your life. And ironically, if somebody offends you or bothers you, it's often because you subconsciously agree with them. When somebody comes to me and says, "You have no business having more kids," I'm not bothered by it, because I don't care about that opinion. I know what's true for me. And if someone comes along and disagrees — "Well, you should get a job" — nope. I will not get a job. I will do my content and borrow money. That's what I will do.
So if you have any ideas for me: I think the best way to handle this dating is to just own it and say, look, I'm Jerry Banfield and I do YouTube. If you like it, great — be a part of the show. If not, get lost; I'll be seeing another woman very soon. I'm sure it's really important that I date a woman who's really okay with my channel. Not only okay with it — a woman who'd love to be a part of the story, who'd love to be a great teammate. And I realized with the queen, we didn't have the best chemistry.
No One Is My Savior
I'm glad I've realized that I'm never going to submit to any faith. I would support a woman if she was Christian — I'd go to church — but I'm not going to act like I believe that anyone is my savior or my leader or my God. No one is my savior. No one is my God. This is my universe. This is my reality. I'm creating it. I don't need anyone to save me, and I don't need anyone to worship. I don't need anyone to pray to. When I pray, I pray to myself — to my highest version, the biggest, strongest part of me. It's not someone else I'm praying to. It's me. Like: "Hey bro, get it together. You got this. Let's go."
See You on the Tip Leaderboard
It's been long enough here for today. Thank you for spending this time with me. I'd love to see you over at my website jerrybanfield.com soon in that chat, and if you want to talk with me directly, you can schedule a one-on-one call with me.
If you enjoyed this story, there's a lot more where it came from in my Dating playlist — and I'll see you as the first person on that tip leaderboard. All right.